David Bowie x Y/N imagines

Letter to Y/N

[A/N: Just imagine you've broken up with David and you receive this letter. I know it's a sad thought; roll with it (It's based on, if not entirely copied, his song Letter to Hermione, just so you know.):/]

Y/N, I hope this finds you well.

The hand that wrote this letter sweeps the pillow clean, so rest your head and read a treasured dream. I care for no one else but you, I tear my soul to cease the pain. I think maybe you feel the same...
What can we do?
I'm not sure what we're supposed to do, so I've been writing just for you.

They say your life is going very well. They say you sparkle like a different girl, but something tells me that you hide when all the world is warm and tired.
You cry a little in the dark.
Well, so do I.
I'm not quite sure what you're supposed to say, but I can see it's not okay. 

He makes you laugh, he brings you out in style, he treats you well and makes you up real fine. And when he's strong, he's strong for you. And when you kiss, it's something new... But did you ever call my name, just by mistake?
I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do, so I'll just write some love to you...

Hell, Y/N I would give my everything for you. I know that this was for the best but not a day goes by when I don't miss holding you in my arms, kissing you when you cry, and making you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I wanted nothing more than to make you feel as though you owned the world... I love you with my entire heart and I miss you every second, the thought that you're no longer here to spend our lives together tears me apart every day. 

I want to kiss your pink cheeks as I tell you that I love you... I want to hear you call my name when you cry, allowing me to comfort you. I want one last chance to tell you that I love you and I never wanted to let you go. I don't understand why you had to leave me Y/N. Loving anyone else will be hard because nobody will ever truly fill that hole you left in my heart.

It's sore, knowing that you're in a beautiful relationship... One that's not dangerous or daring... One that could result in a family. In a normal, standard relationship where he can treat you how you're supposed to be treated, he will always be twice the man I ever was to you. 

No matter how many hours I cry or wish you were here I can't avoid the fact that you're not coming back. I wish nothing more than for you to be happy. Even if I'm not the one making you happy. As long as he treats you well, I hope you both find what you're looking for. You were my everything and I've got to learn to let that go. 

I write this with a heavy heart... It hurts no matter how I think about it because you mean the utter world to me and I hate the thought of you kissing someone else. I hate the fact that he's the one you go home to at night, I hate that he's the one comforting you when you cry, and I hate that he isn't me. I know this sounds stupid, pathetic and selfish but that's how wounds heal. I have a lot of healing to do and this will be the last letter I write to you, even if it is my first. The thought that you'll read this and just throw it away, dismissing everything we ever were... it ruins me Y/N.

I can only hope that you don't forget the times we spent in London, the talk of the town and the number of trips we went on, leaving mementoes of our love in every new place. I hope you look back on these times with kindness and warmth, not resentment and regret. I doubt you'll ever regret leaving me but I regret not being able to make you stay. I know the Y/N I'm writing to now is not the same Y/N I loved and cherished but I know she's in there somewhere. 

So, to that small sliver of my Y/N, I need you every second of every single day and the times it dawns on me that you're gone are the hardest because I can't face the facts. I doubt I'll ever love again, but that's okay because I can rest easy knowing I once had you. You were the best thing that happened to me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can die knowing you loved me once and that we were in love. I miss the sound of your voice, the glares you used to give me when I drank too much, and the feel of your lips against mine. 

Life goes on yet I can't seem to leave this alone. I should have ended this letter a while ago but the longer that I know that your eyes are reading my words, the longer I can revel in that sensation. By the time you're reading this, I will be away somewhere. Somewhere so far away from you that I can never go back. I will be somewhere nobody returns from. My thoughts. 

Just know that I love you, darling, and I always will. You won't see me again because I can't face the world again without you beside me. I will still write songs but I will be far away from you. I will be in America whilst you live your new life at home. Where we had our home. It's the least I can say that I will always think of you but I know you'll forget about me so, goodbye my love, I will miss you forevermore.

David. x