fifteen

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𝐘/𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕

IT'S BEEN a week since Pittsburgh and to say my life had gone to shit would be the biggest understatement of the year. I was still mortified that I had a night terror in front of Emily and then basically dumped my life's trauma on her. I was then even more mortified when I woke up with my body pressed against Emily. Luckily I was able to make a beeline out of the bed and into the bathroom without waking her up.

But that night was just the tip of the ice burg. On the plane ride back I got a call from my landlord saying that there was a gas leak in my apartment, so I had to find somewhere else to stay for two weeks. I knew that I could stay with JJ or Reid but I didn't want to burden them so I decided to just stay in a hotel. Luckily, my apartment complex was willing to pay for it.

Then, out of the blue, I got a call from my mother saying that she wanted to visit me in a couple of months. I couldn't tell her no so I helped her plan a trip. I hadn't seen her in years so I was already nervous to see her again.

All of these events and my trip to Pittsburgh keep bringing back memories that stay at the forefront of my mind. I think about Lexi and the crash all the time now. It was like all the hard work I'd done to forget everything went out the door.

Now my focus and concentration are out of whack so I'm really behind on paperwork and keep messing up the simplest tasks. Surprisingly Emily hasn't said anything. One time she yelled at Luke for a full two minutes about forgetting to put the ME's report in his case file. So I have no clue why she isn't livid about me being two reports behind.

"Drinks at O'Keefe's?" Luke called out to everyone in the bullpen. It was a Friday night and everyone was done with their work, except for me, but no one needs to know that.

"I'm in!" Everyone said at the same time.

"You in, Y/n?" Luke said as he sat on the corner of my desk.

"If I can drink half my weight in alcohol, free of judgment, then yes I'm in," I said with a smile as I slammed my computer shut. I saw Reid shoot me a concerned look from the corner of my eye.

I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but what the hell? If life is going to treat me shitty then I deserve one night of fun where I can drown all my thoughts away, right?

"I'll come too." A voice said from behind me. I froze knowing exactly who it belonged to. I looked up at everyone and they all had the same expression of surprise.

I turned around and saw Emily. The look she gave me was one that said she could see right through me. However, I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Seriously?" JJ said stunned.

"When am I not serious," Emily said with a frown. JJ held up her hands in surrender and everyone started packing their stuff up to go.

I put my case files and computer in my bag but my thoughts lingered on Emily. The look she gave me told me everything I needed to know about why she was coming. She felt the need to babysit me. But that wasn't going to deter me from drinking. I had made up my mind and my mind wants to get so drunk that I can't think about anything, let alone this shitty week and all the feelings I have about Emily.

I rode with JJ and Penelope to O'Keefes because I knew If I rode with Spencer or Emily they would just express their concerns to me.

Luckily we arrived before everyone so the three of us found a table. I immediately ordered three tequila shots and was met by the concerned faces of JJ and Penelope. They knew I didn't drink often although I never told them the reason why. "Are you okay Y/n?" Penelope asked after I took two of the three shots, my throat and eyes already burning.

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