Unforgettable bond (love) MXM

11

Trigger warning

Mentions of suicide

Anthony pov.

'I wish I could float on water' I mumble to myself looking down at the clear water underneath the bridge I was standing on. I don't remember the last time I went swimming but looking in this water, so sparkling and clean made me want to dive in and forget everything. I pull the ends of the jumper I'm wearing covering my fingers. It was freezing due to the morning cold. I wonder how I survived going stone cold all night. I shiver when a cold breeze hits my face making me smile at how wonderful it feels and how it makes my skin crawl.

I take a deep breath getting ready to watch the sunset. It's always beautiful to watch in the morning like this. I smile a little, excited to capture this moment, I don't even recall the last time I watched it. I remember watching it every morning when I was still in Waterstone since I couldn't sleep well. Now I'm excited to witness it again after many years. I feel so free. I almost forgot all my fucked up life and focused my eyes on the sky. A tear slides down my cheek as I force out a smile which I wanted so badly to come out but instead, a sob passed through my parted lips.

At this point, I think the universe hates me. I think I have done something to deserve this. He was right, I shouldn't have been born. This was all my fault, all the things I go through are because I was a mistake. No one will love you, even your mother left you, you're such a mistake. I remember those words so clearly.

On top of that, I'm an animal who goes around murdering people. I'm at such a loss. He was so fucken right.

What's there to see? Get your ugly ass out. I recall Troy's words and they hit differently. I know I'm ugly and I'm used to it but for some reason, Troy pointing it out hits differently. I close my eyes when the sun hits my face feeling that warm breeze grazing on my cheek.

Even the person I thought cared for me, left me all alone. I ruin everything. I might now ruin Zach's life, I took Mrs. Sullivan's life. I don't have a right to live because I'm a killer, a murderer who deserves to be put away for good, I need to be locked up for good like Mrs. Sullivan did all those years. I don't deserve to be among normal people, I'm such a disgrace. I look down at my pants when my phone vibrates. I took a shaky breath pulling it out already knowing who was calling. I look at it for a second before silencing it.

Zach had done so much for me, I can't let him ruin his life because of me yet I know no matter what I do, he won't leave me. I'm being selfish for making him cover all these crimes for me. I attacked innocent people, brutally, and they are now fighting for their lives and it's all because of me.

Since Zach told me last night, I couldn't close my eyes for the life of me. Telling me that one of them is in the comma, they don't know whether he will pull through, hurts me more than I could. I ran away from Zach, I haven't returned home since yesterday night which makes me a little bitch and selfish for worrying him but I needed time alone.

Time to think about my life and where it is going. I think I should part ways with Zach. I'm tired of dragging him in my shit over and over again, every time I kill, he makes sure nothing connects back to me. I'm lucky to have him but he didn't sign up for this. He is an innocent child who got caught up in all my shit.

When his parents died in a car accident along with his older sister, Zach was left alone. He moved from foster home to foster and no one wanted him because he was a little older until Mrs. Sullivan found him and took him home where we met.

We grew up together, we connected since the beginning, and we knew what being rejected meant, we understood each other so much. It was hard but we pulled through all of it together with the help of Mrs. Sullivan. When Zach found out about what I was and why I wouldn't leave that basement, he didn't run or get scared, he just said that was fine and stayed by my side not fearing that I might hurt him, if even possible, he loved me more.