asylum [rafe cameron]

fifteen

I storm out of the house, my mind being too angry to think. Shall I go to Barrys? But that would just prove them right. But my mom did say that she didn't care anymore.

Whenever I had any inconvenience in my life, drugs would always help me. No one else did.

I didn't have any money, but I could just tell him I'd pay him later. So that's where I went. To the best drug dealer in the island.

I step inside of the open doored shack, seeing Barry roll his eyes.

"Wassup now Ms Country Club." he says, walking towards me.

"What?" I ask.

"Ms Country Club." he playfully hits me on the shoulder.

I nod my head, confused. I just wanted drugs.

"Damn you're dumb. He told me." he said.

"Who told you what?"

"Lil Rafey got ghosted by you." he kisses his teeth.

"And not many people do that. In fact, nobody does." he continues.

"What? No I was just-" I sigh.

I didn't want to talk about what happened. I never wanted to.

"I didn't come here to explain anything to you. Can I have some coke?" I say.

"If you got the money." he shrugs.

"Okay, I don't but-"

He sighs loudly on purpose instantly.

"I ain't giving you shit without you giving me my damn money." he chuckles.

"Listen, I'll give twice what you ask for when I get the money." I say persuasively.

"I don't know." he rolls his eyes.

"I swear, I will. Now where's the coke?" I ask.

"In the kitchen. With Country Club."

"What?"

"Rafe! Damn you slow."

I didn't care if Rafe was there or not, I needed coke and he wasn't going to stop me from getting it.

I walk towards the kitchen, seeing Rafe doing a line over the counter. What I also see, is a bag full of coke next to him. Jackpot.

I didn't want him to see me or else he would give me reasons why I shouldn't do drugs and would make my ears bleed.

I tip-toed towards him, not making a sound.The bag of coke is now directly in-front of me and Rafe is directly next to me.

I touch the bag with my hands, twisting the top so nothing falls out and I attempt to tip-toe back from where I came until I realised that Rafe was finished with his line.

He looks to the place where the bag used to sit, and then upwards to me.

My mind was blank and I didn't know what to do. So I tried to make a run for it but Rafe was faster, his hand pulling my hand with the coke in it.

"What the fuck." Rafe says, looking at the coke in my hand.

"Barry said I could." I say, my eyes wide open.

"Mhm. Okay." Rafe nods.

Phew. He wasn't trying to talk me out of doing drugs for once.

"So- uh. You wanna do this with me?" I say, signalling to the coke.

And he doesn't answer.

"You're really giving me the silent treatment?" I laugh.

And he doesn't answer.

"Okay I'm sorry. I forgot about lunch- or breakfast? I don't even know." I say.

"You're so selfish." he chuckles sarcastically, facing away from me and diving into the fridge.

"What- how?" I say.

And he doesn't answer.

"How!" I yell.

"I was fucking waiting for you for hours." he slams the fridge, yelling back.

"Okay I'm sorry, but I had some things to do-"

"Don't fucking give me excuses. You wasted me fucking time."

"Oh my god!" I shout, laughing back.

"You think this is fucking funny?" he says.

"Yeah, I do actually."

"Mhm." he nods, grinning.

"You're a fucking bitch." he says, chuckling.

"Do you always act like a fucking five year old?" I laugh.

"Shut the fuck up." he yells.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't hold your hand to lunch." I pout sarcastically.

"This is what I mean! I was tryna do something nice for once." he yells.

"I'm so sorry for not going with you to a stupid lunch when my mom was telling me she would send me back to a mental asylum." I shout.

And then suddenly, it was quiet. I felt like I finally got something of my chest, and I could breathe again. But that would come with costs.

"Back? You went to a mental asylum?" he asks.

"Wow! Well done." I clap, smiling sarcastically.

"You never told me." he says.

"Was I supposed to? Thought maybe you would tell everyone like last time."

"Fuck, I said I was sorry." he sighs.

"You're just a-" I think of what to say.

"Just my coke buddy." I shrug.

"Yeah." he laughs awkwardly.

I didn't know what we were, but I knew we were more than that. After the kiss and everything he's done.

But I couldn't get caught in his trap, I couldn't like him when I didn't even like myself.