asylum [rafe cameron]

eighteen

I wake up with an instant feel of guilt and pain rushing through my veins.

I overdosed.

I look at my body laying on the hospital bed, seeing that my hands were embedded with holter monitors which was tracking my breathing. How long have I been here?

I look next to me, seeing the screen track my heartbeat, only making me feel more uneasy.

But I couldn't stop thinking about what I did. I was selfish. I overdosed at a fucking party.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this hospital. I try to rip off the holter monitors with all the strength I have left.

I find the overlap of the material and finally rip it off. That felt better.

I prepare myself before standing up fully, and when I do my legs slightly shake. I breathe in, walking to the door until it instantly opens, making me wince.

I look up to see a worker barge in the room.

"I'm so sorry!" she says.

"No, you're fine." I mumble.

I haven't talked since the overdose, but my insides hurt when I did. I felt as if I was going to barf out all of my blood and shrivel up until I was pea-sized.

"Lets get you back in bed." she says, holding my hand as if I were five.

"No- I-" I stutter.

I see myself doing as she says and I walk backwards, placing myself back onto the hospital bed as she sits next to me.

"So, how old are you?" she asks with a pen and paper in her hand.

"Uh- eighteen." I lie.

"Mhm, we need some parental contacts. Could you give me any?" she asks politely.

Shit. I can't let my mom know this happened but she was bound to know. Kiara probably snitched for all I know.

"My parents died actually." I nod.

"Oh, honey I'm so sorry." she says, still writing on her clipboard.

"Are any of the people waiting outside your relatives in any way?" she smiles.

"People are waiting for me? Who?" I ask.

"Let me see." she says, flipping over the pages in her clipboard to check.

"Kiara Carerra, JJ Maybank, John Booker Routledge, Pope Heyward and-" she looks closer, squinting her eyes.

"And Rafe cameron."

What? All of the pogues are outside with Rafe. No fucking way.

"Oh- I just realised that I have this thing to go to" I say.

"Sweetie, we really need some more information so-"

She was going to find out about my parents. I know she would. And could she arrest me if she found out I overdosed on cocaine?

And that's when I made a run for it. I jumped off the bed, running to the door and slamming it open.

"Hey!" I hear her shout from the room.

I didn't see the pogues or Rafe in the hospital, so I kept running until I reached the exit.

I pulled the door wide open and ran to the car park, where I saw the pogues, and Rafe. I didn't know whether I should keep running so I hesitated, making them notice me.

"Gia!"

Rafe was the first to see me and he came running to me, everyone following. Funny how it was the opposite before I overdosed.

"Hey, you alright?" Rafe eyes soften, cupping my face with his hands.

I look at his eyes, they looked red as if he hadn't slept for days.

"Um- it's fine." I murmur, taking his hand away from my face.

I didn't want the pogues to think anything was happening between us, although they already looked confused. He stepped back after seeing mine and the pogues faces.

As soon as I make eye contact with Kiara, she hugs me tightly, embracing my arms.

"How long was I, you know?"

"A few days." she laughs with joy and sadness.

"No way." a laugh escalates my mouth.

"I'm sorry. For everything." she sobs.

"Nah, you were right Kie."

"What?" she pulls away.

"I just, don't wanna tell myself that I need help. But obviously I fucking do." I laugh in pain.

I was never planning to go back to the mental asylum, no way. But I wouldn't deny now that I needed help. I just didn't know where to go.

Kiara nervously laughs, and I see JJ and John B looking directly at me.

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

Before they say another word, they jump into my arms along with Pope, and I suddenly feel at home. I felt at home with the pogues, but did they feel at home with me?

They kept looking at Rafe and giving him dirty looks, only making me more aware that I should never tell them about whatever we are.

"Don't do that again. Promise me." JJ says.

"I won't." I try to smile.

"And I'm sorry for not letting you stay. I was being a bad friend." John B states.

"No I-" I get cut off.

"You're all so two faced." Rafe chuckles.

"Why the fuck is he even here, that's what I wanna know." JJ talks back.

"So now that she overdosed you let her stay at the fucking chateau." Rafe says.

"Almost like that's an accomplishment for you?" Rafe continues.

"Shut up man." Pope says.

I sigh, knowing that they couldn't even get along now. But was Rafe right?

"You have a lot of nerve even coming here." John B says.

"You're a fucking joke." Rafe chuckles.

"Gia just got out of hospital and you can't stop arguing. Have some respect." Kie rolls her eyes.

"I'm just saying if you were real friends you would help her." Rafe nods.

"Like you ever did." Pope scoffs.

"Yeah, I did actually." Rafe chuckles.

"Alright- sorry Gia, but can you tell me why he's here?" JJ asks me.

Rafe lays his eyes onto mine, I don't know what he was trying to tell me.

"I- I don't know." I stutter.

"Yeah, alright." Rafe laughs sarcastically, looking at me.

The pogues still look at me with questions that I didn't know the answers to.

"Look, he sold me coke once, he's exaggerating, okay?" I shrug.

Rafe doesn't look at me coldly, not softly, I couldn't tell how he was feeling. I knew he felt the same with his friends, so I was confused.

Before I could get another word out, the hospital's doors opened and a nurse came walking out, looking directly at me.

I was about to make a run for it again, until I realised my parents were behind her.

"You're fucking joking." I groan under my breath.

My head was pounding like crazy and my insides felt more and more like jelly by the second.

I just wanted to lay down in my bed and cry. I wanted to be invisible. But obviously, the more I wanted to, the less likely it would happen.