Chapter 33

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EZRA • POV

My body felt like it wasn't my own.

It was as though everything had blown up to ten times its original size, until my arms and legs were so heavy I couldn't move them no matter how hard I persisted. I was stranded, weighed down by rocks, pinned to the surface I was lying on top of.

No matter how hard I tried and struggled, I just couldn't will myself to get up, to move.

Creeping frustration, claustrophobia and panic made my throat feel like it was swelling up tightly and my eyes welled up with tears that pooled beneath my closed lids.

I'd been trying desperately to pry them open so that I could work out where I was, but just like the rest of my body, I was paralysed. My eyelids were bolted shut like rusted shop shutters refusing to budge and I was left in this terrifying state of being trapped inside my own body.

I couldn't remember what had happened or how I'd ended up here... frozen, but alive.

Why was I stuck in this limbo? Why couldn't I move? Where was Ollie and Jae? Evan and Jeremiah?

There was this sick feeling that twisted my stomach and invaded my mind. This dark, threatening feeling of dread that led me to believe something terrible had happened, but my brain was blank and I couldn't determine what exactly was wrong.

"He's crying again," someone murmured, their voice far away and distorted. It was as though they were speaking underwater and I strained to recognise the warped voice, but like most of my thoughts, names and voice recognition slipped away beyond my reach.

"This is a good thing, remember? It means he's coming back, slowly but surely. We know he's still in there, Jae," another voice responded cautiously,  and I felt my heart leap in my chest as familiarity finally registered through the muddled haze.

Jae. He was here? He was somewhere around me, worried about me.

I pictured his beautiful face; his tanned skin, his dark, almost black, kind, mono-lidded eyes. His dark wavy hair and all the piercings in his ears that made him sparkle. I pictured his colourful tattoos and his lean, tall body, pleased that I was able to at least conjure up this accurate vision of my lover.

I missed him so much. Why did I miss him so much? Why did it feel like such a long time since I'd seen him?

I ached to reach out and hold him, to demand he hold me, but my hands failed me, my fingers stiff and frozen, not at all in sync with my brain's insistent instructions.

Fuck. I hated this. Why was I stuck like this?

Something soft began dabbing at my eyes, wiping up my tears and I could feel warm breath ghost across my skin. He was right there. My Jae was right there.

Please, please let me wake up and talk to him... let me see him.

"It's okay Ezzy, don't cry. We're right here."

Soft lips pressed against my cheek and my heart thumped from the contact, as though shocked into a quick rhythm from the love of Jae's delicate touch. I wanted more. So much more.

But then he pulled away and I couldn't feel anything else, surrounded in an isolated cold. He was gone and I was drifting in darkness once more. But at least this time I'd been able to feel him.

I only wished he'd come back.

...

"I can't do anything Evan! They won't even let me see him! I'm not family, but I am Ezra's partner and I've been looking after him like he's my own baby! I'd never hurt him! This is ridiculous! My head, it feels like it's about to fucking explode-"

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