Paint it RED!

Before-Story Emilia's childhood

It was Emilia's tenth birthday, and she was having so much fun.She woke up early, feeling super-excited for the day. Running down the stairs, opening her presents and eating chocolate cake for breakfast. Now she was at a fun fair with her father, running around and looking at all the brightly coloured things, the rides and the stalls and all the candy and toys. 'Emilia!' her father called. 'Daddy! I'm over here!' she waved enthusiastically. 'Come here come here!'Her father approached her, weaving through the crowd. 'Emilia' her father said to her sternly. 'How many times do I have to tell you to stop running off?''Daddy, can I have some cotton candy?''Emilia.' Her father said again. 'Did you hear what I said?'The young Emilia turned to face her father, holding her hands slyly behind her back, and grinning guiltily. 'Yes?' Emilia cooed. 'Stop running off, okay?''Okay.''You promise?''Yes!' Emilia grinned, excited now. 'Ok' her father said to her calmly. 'I'll get you some cotton candy.'And so he did. And then he bought her some ice cream, and a little later they shared some fish and chips, and then more ice cream, and they went on a few more rides together. Then Emilia asked for a big bag of sweets. Which he bought her. 'Don't tell your mother I've bought you so many sweets, ok?' her father laughed awkwardly. 'I'm starting to worry you won't sleep tonight.''I'll never tell her a thing' Emilia grinned cunningly. 'Want one of these red things?''What flavour is it?' her father asked. 'I don't know its red.'Her father just smiled, taking the sweet offered to her and eating it. 'Mmm. It's good.'Emilia suddenly leant into him; arms wrapped around his torso. 'I love you daddy!''I love you too Emilia.'*Emilia went home with a giant fluffy unicorn that day. It was pink, with a big sparkly horn and tiny little wings. It was so cute, and Emilia loved it so much. 'I'm going to treasure this forever' Emilia said, holding it up above her. 'Thank you so much for getting it for me.''Emilia, can you please put that down' her father told her. 'It's distracting, I need to be able to see the road clearly.'Emilia obliged quietly, setting the unicorn down on her lap and stroking its mane lovingly. 'I shall call you...Sherbert...' she whispered to it. *They got home shortly after this, and Emilia leapt out of the car. As her father had requested, she left whatever sweets she hadn't eaten yet, hidden in the back of his car. 'I'll come back for you' she muttered to them through the window, before turning away from the car.Emilia skipped towards the front door of her home, hugging Sherbert to her. 'That was so fun daddy' Emilia said back to her father, as he marched behind her. 'Thank you for taking me out today.''It was my pleasure' he grinned to her, patting her head tenderly. 'I'm glad you had fun. I had fun too.''I'm gonna remember this day forever' Emilia said. 'This was the best day ever!'Her father paused then, staring at her for a moment, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He put his arm around her, squeezing her tightly for a moment before kissing her on the cheek. 'Come on' he said to her quietly. 'Get inside. Dinner should be ready soon.'Emilia giggled happily, darting forwards and bursting through the door, running down the entrance hall of her home. 'Emilia take your shoes off!'She stopped abruptly, reaching down to her feet. Moments later her shoes sailed through the air, landing messily in a pile near the front door. 'Emilia' her father scolded. 'Love you daddy!' Emilia called back without looking around. She hurried up the stairs to her room, eager to play with and look at the presents she had received that morning. She passed the doorway to the kitchen, stumbling up the stairs in her eagerness to get to her room. Moments later, her mother stepped out of the kitchen, staring towards her father. Her arms were folded, and she wore a serious expression. *Emilia played in her room for hours, having all the fun in the world. The evening began to grow late, and she paused after a time, looking towards her window. It was getting darker outside. Her tummy rumbled. She was hungry. Emilia put down the kaleidoscope she was playing with, lying on her back on her bed, half her body nearly dropping off the bed.She began to wonder why she had not been called downstairs for dinner. It must be ready by now.Maybe she was called but she didn't hear.Emilia began to worry that she might have missed out on desert. Emilia rolled the right-way up, dancing across her bedroom. She opened the door and called downstairs. 'Daddy?!'There was no response. Emilia hummed to herself. That was weird. She thought.Emilia moved away from the door, making her way downstairs, her ears straining for any sound she might hear. But there was nothing. *Emilia went to the kitchen, finding her mother there. She looked around, seeing no food on the table. Seeing no sign of her father. Only her mother was there, sitting alone at the table, drinking from a bottle, that thing Emilia wasn't allowed to drink. 'Where's daddy?' Emilia asked. Her mother didn't reply, only took the bottle, pouring more of the red liquid in the round glass. She took a big swig. 'Natasha' Emilia said, addressing her mother by name, as was typical for her. 'What?' her mother said tiredly. 'Where's daddy?'Natasha just sighed in annoyance. 'I don't know' she said dismissively, drinking from the glass again. 'When did you see him last?' Emilia asked. Natasha sighed again, turning in her chair to face her daughter. 'I don't know' she said again, her tone becoming more irritant. 'He just went away. Don't ask me where.''Well...when is he coming back?' Emilia asked sullenly. Natasha pushed her phone towards Emilia, her chair screeching on the floor as she rose abruptly. 'Just text him.' She told Emilia shortly. 'I'm going to my room. Don't bother me or I'll be annoyed.'Emilia didn't look at her mother as she walked past her, through the doorway and up the stairs to her own room. Instead, Emilia just stared at the phone. She took her mother's mobile, lifting it before her and searching for her father's name. Emilia found it. There were very few texts between her mother and father. Emilia began to type. *Daddy, it Emilia here. Where did yougo? xxx*She never received a reply. She sent a few more texts, but as far as she could tell, he never read the messages. *He came back the next day. Emilia woke in the morning, waking late, having gone to bed late. She had cried herself to sleep, consumed by worry for her father. She woke abruptly upon hearing her father's voice. Emilia jumped out of bed, running down the stairs and into the kitchen. 'Daddy!'She threw herself into him, wrapping her small arms around him. 'Where were you!? I was so worried!'Her father, did not hug her back, merely patted her on the shoulders, gently pushing her away. 'I'm sorry Emilia' he said to her. 'I just had to do some things.'Emilia felt a little confused, and then she felt a little hurt. Why hadn't he hugged her?He looked upset, but seemed to be trying to hide it. 'Did I do something to upset you?' Emilia asked. 'I'm sorry.''No no' he said hastily. 'You haven't done anything wrong.''Then what is it?' He did not reply, simply stared blankly at the table. 'Daddy?''Don't call me that.'His tone was sharp. Was angry. Emilia was so thrown off by this, she wasn't even able to feel anything else. Not hurt, only confusion this time. 'You should go back to your room' he told her. 'But....' Emilia spoke feebly. 'I...''Just go to your room' he spoke to her.It was unmistakable. There was anger in his tone. Emilia turned and ran away, heading back upstairs. She was confused, and hurt, but mostly confused. Emilia sat on her bed, crying silently to herself. 'I haven't even had breakfast' she mumbled to herself. *That was the last time she had ever seen the man she once called father. Later that day, she learned he had left again. Only this time, he never came back. *'Where is he?''Emilia' Natasha snapped angrily back. 'Stop asking me stupid questions. I'm trying to enjoy my meal dammit.''Where is he?! Where is daddy!''He's not your fucking father!''What?' Emilia gasped. 'He is not your father.' Natasha reiterated. '...What?' Emilia said again, unable to think of anything else to say. 'You heard me.''But....' Emilia trailed off. 'I don't understand.''Emilia' Natasha said shortly. 'If you're not going to eat your food, just go to your room. You're getting on my nerves.'Emilia ran from the table at that. She didn't need to be told again. Emilia felt utterly heartbroken, confused, guilty. It must have been something she had done wrong. It must have. But at that age, Emilia could not possibly have understood her mother, nor her unfaithful, lying ways. In years to come however, Emilia's mind slowly began to piece things together, and things gradually began to make more sense. As she grew and matured, she began to understand. *Just over a year later, Natasha brought a man home. 'Um.... who's this?' Emilia asked. He had simply walked into their home, as if he'd been there before, it was likely that he had. 'Emilia' Natasha said, coming up behind the man. 'This is a friend of mine.'Emilia stared at the unremarkable man. She moved the spoon to her mouth again, continuing to eat her cereal slowly. 'Emilia, don't be rude' Natasha snapped. 'What do you want me to say?''Say hello.' Her mother told her. 'This is ~~~~.''Oh ok.''Say hello Emilia' her mother ordered. 'Hello ~~~~~.''Hey' he said back to her with a wave. Emilia continued to eat her cereal. 'Emilia' Natasha said, 'why don't you go out and meet your friends, we've got things to do here.'Emilia turned to the kitchen window, seeing the rain patter against the glass from outside. 'But it's raining.''Do as I say' Natasha snapped. 'I'm tired of your attitude.'Emilia simply sighed, rising from the table, and walking away, leaving her snack where it was. She walked down the hallway. As soon as she stepped out of the front door, Natasha snapped it shut behind her. And then Emilia heard the very distinct sound of the door locking from the inside. 'What?'She tried the door briefly, trying to get back in. Yup. It was locked. 'Natasha?' Emilia called to her mother. 'Did you just lock me out? You know it's still raining out here? Natasha!'But there was no response. Emilia turned around, facing the street ahead of her. She stood there, looking about and contemplating, not only what she should do, but what the heck just happened.Emilia didn't mention the fact that Natasha seemed to have forgotten her eleventh birthday. Either that, or she just didn't care. It was probably both. Emilia stood for a few moments longer, wondering what to do. *A few years passed. Emilia tried asking about her father. She wanted to know who he was. Why he wasn't in her life. Did he care about her? Did he even know she existed?Emilia would ask many times, and every time she did so, Natasha's patience became shorter and shorter. Eventually, the two would dissolve into screaming matches. But no matter what, Natasha never told the truth. And Emilia never knew who her father was. *More time passed, and Natasha would bring various men home over the years. She would tell Emilia various lies and half-truths about all sorts of things. So many things, that Emilia lost track of them. In the end, Emilia decided that none of whatever her mother told her even mattered anymore. *More time passed. One day, Emilia was reading poetry in her room quietly, minding her own beeswax. Suddenly there was a ruckus coming from downstairs. Emilia sighed wearily, putting her book down and staring with tired-eyes towards her bedroom door. She knew some nonsense was likely about to occur. Her mother had just come home, late of course, from who-knows-where. And of course, she had another man with her. Of course. Emilia sighed, trying to focus on her book. But that became impossible. Natasha and her companion stomped loudly up the stairs. Emilia was just wondering if it was worth leaving her bed to close the door, when the two of them stumbled past. 'Oh. You're here' Natasha said. 'Yes?' Emilia said. Natasha giggled, leaning into the man beside her. 'Have you been drinking?' Emilia asked. 'What's it to you?' Natasha retorted.Emilia sighed, lifting the book again to cover her face, hoping her mother would get the hint and go away. Of course she didn't.'Emilia. Are you trying to ignore us? That's rude.''No' Emilia droned. 'Emilia.'She dropped the book sullenly, staring towards her mother with dead-eyes. 'Emilia' Natasha said, glancing towards the man who helped support her. She was practically clinging to him. 'This is your new father.''Oh' Emilia said, lifting the book again. Natasha scowled at her daughter's lack of reaction, turning to speak to the man instead. 'Don't mind her' Natasha told him. 'She's just a moody teenager. You know what they're like. Let's just leave her.'They went away together. As soon as they were out of sight, Emilia left her room, heading out the door. She didn't want to hear what they would get up to. She didn't want to deal with their distraction. All she wanted to do now was to sit quietly and read. Sit quietly, and not be irritated by her so-called mother. 'What kind of a parent is she?' Emilia muttered to herself, striding away from her home. 'What kind of a mother....' She cursed to herself under her breath. 'I'm more mature than she is...'Emilia went away. It was only a walk of about ten minutes or so. She went to a quiet place. There was a park near her home, with a little section of forest where people would do peaceful things, like yoga, which they did sometimes in groups on nice days, or cycling, or walking their dogs, or having picnics with their families and loved ones. It was a lovely scene, and Emilia desired only to be here now. 'I didn't realise it was such a nice day' she mumbled to herself, looking at the beautiful blue sky overhead. 'I should have been out here sooner.'Emilia felt a twinge of jealously and bitterness at the sight of a family nearby. A traditional family, parents, with two young children and a little dog, an excited puppy running around yipping. Emilia's attention lingered on this small group. She felt her heart sink a little. She felt briefly, a sensation of anger, and sadness in equal amounts. She felt resentful at the injustice and unfairness of it all. The older child, there were two daughters, was cycling around her family in circles. The father was playing tug with the little puppy. It looked like a corgi. And the mother was helping support the younger daughter, who appeared to be learning to ride a bike still.Both girls wore pink helmets, and had knee and elbow pads strapped on.If they were to fall, the plastic and cushion would protect them. Emilia had not learned to ride a bike until she was much older. Her friends and their older siblings had taught her. It had been a fun day, despite the initial awkward questions and silent judgements from those around her at the time.Emilia turned away sharply, rubbing her eyes. She went to a secluded spot, where there was a single swing beneath a tree. She saw to her relief that it was not occupied, and so she went over to sit on it. Protected from the sun by the leafy canopy above, Emilia began to swing gently back and forth, arms around the rope that held the little wooden seat up. The poem-book held in both her hands. She delved back into this world within these pages. Seeing from the perspectives of the writers, of all these separate poems. She loved this, and in no time at all, she forgot her worries. *Emilia only stopped reading when she began to feel a little chilly. She lifted her head, observing her surroundings. The sun was dipping, it was growing late in the day. 'Dammit.'Emilia leapt to her feet, hurrying through the park, heading back the way she had come. She asked a random passer-by the time, thanking this person, before continuing on her way, picking up her pace. *When she got home, she found the strange man still there. His stupid shoes were still in the hallway. 'Natasha!' Emilia called up the stairs. 'NATASHAAAA!'Her mother appeared at the top of the stairs a few moments later.'What the hell do you want?!''I'm late for my gymnastic lesson' Emilia fumbled. 'Oh for gods sake' Natasha said. Emilia rushed up the stairs, past her mother and into her bedroom. She began rummaging around, searching for her gymnastic costume, hairbrush, and a few other miscellaneous things she would normally take with her, including her mobile which was left on her bed. She shoved them all her small purple bag, stepping back into the hallway and looking around for her mother. She heard the front door slam, looking towards it and seeing the weird man's shoes were gone.'He's left' she mumbled to herself. 'Thank god.'Her mother came out of her own bedroom then, storming towards her. 'What the hell are you doing?!' Natasha demanded. 'What?' Emilia breathed, confused at her reaction. 'You've always got to ruin everything' her mother snapped. Emilia's expression turned cold.'Are you serious? What kind of mother are you? You're supposed to look after me. You do know that right?''Don't you dare criticize me you little bitch.''Bitch?''It's your fault all these men leave' Natasha snapped.'We're talking about this again?''You're nothing but a hassle to me.''I'm a hassle to you?' Emilia snarled. 'Do you know what it's even like living with you? I don't even want to fucking be here.'Natasha slapped her then. It came so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and it hurt. Emilia's eye watered, her cheek stung, and she turned back to face her mother, hand to her face, tears brimming. 'I wish I'd never had you. You're nothing but a burden. I just want to live my life.''You should have thought about that before you got knocked up.'Natasha grabbed Emilia by the side of her head, slamming it against the wall. Emilia was disorientated, the white light momentarily blinding her with pain. Natasha was yelling at her, but Emilia could not understand what she was saying. Her mother continued to yell at the top of her voice, still holding Emilia by the hair.Emilia opened her mouth.'Who's my father?''He's dead.''You keep saying that but I don't believe you. If you weren't such a whore sleeping around all the time maybe you'd know yourself.'And that is when Natasha threw her. Still holding her tightly, she flung Emilia aside. Emilia fell down the stairs. It all happened so fast. All she remembered was gravity, blunt-force trauma, and pain. Emilia landed at the bottom of the stairs awkwardly. She hurt all over. She hurt all over, but mainly in her leg. Emilia looked down her body, seeing her bone protruding through her skin. 'You've broken my leg!' Emilia cried out in panic. 'Oh my god!'*Months passed, and this event was completely forgotten about. Emilia of course had fallen down the stairs herself by accident, being clumsy as she was. In the end Emilia never got to go to her gymnastic class, and Emilia kept her mouth shut. *It was sometime after this, long after Emilia's leg had healed and she no longer needed a cast, and her muscles had regained their strength again, that she attended a friends birthday party. It was a large gathering. This particular friend of hers was a social butterfly, and seemed to have all the friends in the world. And everyone adored her. This friend liked to do things big, her family were very well-off financially, and on this particular birthday of hers, like those before, her family went all out. They rented a large venue, a limo, hired a DJ. Everyone had so much fun, and wore beautiful dresses and fancy and excessive makeup, while others wore masks, some with great feathers. Everyone's identities were partially hidden to some degree. It was fun, mysterious, and the food was amazing.Natasha of course had to ruin it for Emilia. 'I don't care' Emilia snarled angrily as her mother dragged her along by her wrist. 'I'll never be hateful like you, no matter what you do to me. I will never treat others this way.''Oh shut up with your constant whining' Natasha retorted, continuing to drag her along. They were outside the venue now; Emilia being forcibly taken against her will. 'I was really enjoying the song' Emilia mumbled, staring longingly behind her. Natasha didn't respond to this, but continued to pull her along, the park around them was peaceful otherwise. They were approaching a bridge, a little bridge, arching over a river where ducks were minding their own.'I'm not going to have my daughter messing around with a bunch of strange guys.''You're one to talk.'Emilia was hit again for talking back. 'Stop hitting me. Why do you even care what I do!''It looks bad on me' Natasha snapped. 'You don't need me to help you with that.' Emilia looked around. 'You're creating a scene.''You're going to an all-girls school' Natasha snarled under her breath, perhaps in an attempt to draw less attention to their predicament. 'A respectable one.''You wouldn't be able to afford that' Emilia muttered. But her mother heard her loud and clear. 'You have no idea what I can afford. You have no idea about me.'Emilia jerked her wrist back, coming to an abrupt stop.They were standing in the middle of the bridge now.Natasha rounded on her daughter, snarling at her like a wild beast. 'Why are you so angry?!' Emilia cried. 'What is your dam problem?! It's your fault I don't know anything about you! You've never treated me like a daughter. All my life you've treated me like nothing but an inconvenience. Sorry for existing. Sorry for being a burden to you. Sorry for being your daughter. Sorry you're forever absent. Sorry you're such a useless mother.'And that was when Natasha pushed her, completely losing her temper. Emilia fell in the river. The water was deep, and the heavy folds of her dress pulled her downwards. Emilia felt the panic rising within her, struggling to make her way to the riverbank. The makeup that covered her face immediately began to run, seeping down her face, giving her almost a ghostly look, even more so as she tries her best to crawl out of the water. But her mother who had walked off the bridge and around to the bank to meet her, only pushed her further into the water, attempting to hold her head beneath the surface. It was this specific moment, that Emilia developed her fear of water. She was rescued however. Her mother's grip was strong, but her friends who weren't far behind, had come to help her. They pulled Natasha away, while others ran to help Emilia out of the water. Emilia was distraught, coughing violently, shaking and crying. *This memory was so traumatic, that Emilia forgot about it, almost instantly, almost entirely. But the lingering fear of water still remained, always present. It never left her. * Years later, Emilia still lived with her mother. They had moved house more than once in that time due to work reasons. And various other reasons, mainly ones that Emilia was not aware of. Her mother was still a stranger to her. And Emilia was fine with that. Natasha had found a new man of course, shortly after they settled into their most recent home. He seemed nice enough, though Emilia wouldn't allow herself to get attached to him. The relationship between him and Natasha was sure to last only a short time. It would either run its course, as the many others before had, or they would move again. Either way, Emilia had accepted long ago that this is how things were for her. This is the life she lived. Unstable relationships, new homes, losing friends, making new ones, and uncertain tomorrows. This is just how things were. *Today, Emilia was spending time with Natasha's latest interest. It had been only a short time but he had already moved in and was living with them. Emilia was alright with this. He was nice enough, and had begun to teach Emilia how to skateboard. He was a bit of an expert, and Emilia felt she had learned a lot in a short space of time. She actually liked this new man, and enjoyed the time they spent together. Though she knew it would not last, and so she made the most of every single day. She used his skateboard the first few times they went out, then one day he bought one of her very own, and she was very happy, positively over the moon. They spent a lot of time at the skateparks, in different locations. Sometimes driving a long distance to experience new ones. When the relationship between this new man and Natasha met its inevitable end, Emilia still treasured the memories and the fun they had had together. She would remember them fondly, and she would continue to skate. Until the day her mother took that away from her, because of course she did. Apparently, Natasha had gotten fed up with Emilia asking her to drive her to different skateparks, and so one day while heading off to work, Natasha took Emilia's skateboard, and placed it in front of the wheel of her car. Emilia heard a strange sound from her bedroom, looking out the window to see her mother pulling out of the driveway. Emilia's heart sank as she saw her skateboard, her precious skateboard, lying broken upon the driveway, completely snapped in half. She ran outside, but it was far too late. Like the death of her beloved goldfish so many years ago, her skateboard was destroyed, gone forever. It had been special to her, bought as a gift by the same person who taught her how to use it. It was the end of an era.Emilia simply let out a slow sigh, closing her eyes to the world. 'I need to get a job and pay for my own shit.' She paused, opening her eyes again. 'No way she'd let me though.'Emilia knew then that she had to bide her time. That's all she had to do. One day she knew she would be free to live the life she wanted, and not be overshadowed by this dark cloud, the suffocating presence that was her mother. Emilia went back inside, and continued with what she had been doing before. She never mentioned the skateboard to her mother. It was as if the whole thing had never happened. As if the skateboard had never even existed. But no matter what, Emilia would always have the memories, and that was something her mother could never take away from her. *The next man to come into Emilia's life, was an adrenaline junkie, and Emilia found herself taking part in things she never thought she would ever do. Such as bungee-jumping, rock-climbing, paragliding, surfing, mountain-biking, kayaking.This new man seemed to be wanting to do his best to make friends with Emilia, and to show himself in a positive light, to get on her good side. Not that it would have mattered if he was on her worst side, because Natasha couldn't care less what her daughter thought of the men she brought through the door. She liked this new man. He was friendly and adventurous. But little did he know that his relationship with Natasha, was doomed to fail before it even began. Emilia couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. But as she had learned to do, she could only make the best of the situation, and so she continued to bungee-jump, rock-climb, paraglide, surf, go mountain-biking and kayaking.One day he took her cliff-jumping. It was a spot famous for it, and he assured her that it was completely safe. He told her, that people jump off this cliff all the time, and the pool below was deep, very deep, and that there had never been an accident, ever. She trusted him. And so she jumped, after watching him jump a few times. She did it, it was scary, but exciting, and she loved it. Just before their final jump before heading home, the man looked to a set of buildings some distance away, that could be seen from the high cliffs from where they stood. 'That over there is a school, a girl's school' he told her. 'If I had a of my own daughter, I would want her to go to that school.'But Emilia was hardly listening, she was already ready to jump again. 'After me!'And so, she jumped. *Once this latest man was out of her life, Emilia continued to come to this place alone, and then she came with friends, sometimes at night. It was scarier at night, more mysterious, but no less beautiful.The view from the cliffs was astounding. *Emilia's fear of the water lessened, and she began to slowly trust people in the water around her. *Months later, Natasha picked up Emilia from her kickboxing practice. Emilia crawled into the car, choosing to sit in the backseat instead of the passenger seat. 'Really?' Natasha said, staring at Emilia's reflection in the rear-view mirror. 'You're making me feel like a taxi.''You couldn't possibly be a taxi' Emilia said to the window. 'I'm not paying you to drive me anywhere.'Natasha just huffed, tutting loudly.'Why can't you choose a better hobby?' Natasha asked her, pulling out from her parking spot. 'And what would be a better hobby to you?' Emilia asked the window, not really caring for an answer. 'Something a little more girly.''You know I'm not the only girl in my kickboxing class.''And how many girls are there in your class?' Natasha asked, not really caring for an answer. 'There's at least one other girl' Emilia said. 'Only one?''She's the best in class,' Emilia told her mother. 'I just can't defeat her. I've been doing really well by the way,' Emilia said, finally tearing her eyes away from the outside world passing by them. 'I've been able to win against everyone else in my class except for her. I've even been able to defeat the boys.' She looked towards her mother, but she didn't seem to be listening. Emilia looked back to the window quietly. After a few more moments of silence, Natasha spoke again. 'I still don't know why you can't do something else.''Are you ashamed of me?' Emilia asked her mother. 'I just think it would look better if you did something like ice-skating, or singing, or becoming a ballerina.''I don't have any interest in singing, its not my forte. There are no ice-skating rinks anywhere near here, and I don't want to injure my toes by becoming a ballerina.''Why don't you be a dancer then?' Natasha asked her with exasperation. 'There aren't any dancing clubs near here.''Then why don't you start your own?' Natasha said. 'And who would drive me there?''You know I'm busy' Natasha said angrily back. 'That's exactly my point' Emilia said flatly. 'You have an answer for everything don't you' Natasha told her rhetorically. Emilia chose not to engage, instead continuing to stare out the window. 'You see' Natasha began, breaking the silence, 'this is why I can't talk to you.''I don't have to have a girly hobby you know' Emilia told her mother sullenly. 'Noah does just fine kickboxing.''Who is Noah?''She's the one I mentioned before. The girl in my kickboxing class.''Her name is Noah?' Natasha scoffed. 'Who names their daughter Noah?''That's just her nickname Natasha,' Emilia told her mother flatly. 'Why does she have a boy's nickname?''Anyone can have any nickname they want' Emilia answered in a monotone, 'but if you are actually interested, it's because she's also a magician. She can part water like Noah. I saw her do it, with my own eyes, it was amazing, and for the life of me I can't figure out...''Is she that big-girl I saw earlier?' Natasha interrupted. Emilia just huffed, resting her chin on her palm and staring out the window again. 'I don't know Natasha' Emilia droned. 'Why can't I have a lady-like daughter?' Natasha lamented to herself. 'All my friends have such pretty and cute daughters. And I end up with a lanky stork.''I don't know' Emilia said sarcastically. 'Maybe I got it from my father.' 'Don't you dare' Natasha said, her tone threatening, her voice hushed. Emilia glanced towards her mother, seeing her eyes in the rear-view mirror looking back at her. Emilia simply turned away again, saying nothing.*It was a few weeks after this, that the accident happened. Natasha wasn't acting entirely like herself, and Emilia felt a little uneasy at getting in the car with her. But what choice did she have? She couldn't walk home in the dark for miles across town and country. And there was no way Emilia could have known what would happen. She did get a bad feeling, but pushed these feelings aside for the sake of convenience. Natasha wasn't paying close enough attention to the road, and ended up colliding with another car. Emilia remembered next to nothing of the accident itself. Like the gut feeling that something was about to go wrong, her mind erased the worst of the experience, the pain and shock and trauma. *Emilia woke in a hospital bed, having drifted in and out of consciousness before reaching safety, aware only of muffled voices and flashing lights, which she thought later was likely the ambulance. Now Emilia was fully awake, and her mind slowly began to process how she got here. A nurse was by her side, and Emilia turned towards her, seeing her friendly face, her calming tone. Emilia's eye watered. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. The nurse continued to speak kindly to her, touching her shoulder in a comforting gesture. Moments later, Emilia learned that she had been involved in an accident. A car crash. Emilia learned that her leg had been amputated, as it was broken beyond repair. *She never asked about the other car involved in the accident, afraid for what she might hear. She did learn that her mother was alive. But Natasha had not come to visit her. Emilia did not know if she was hurt in any way, like Emilia had been. Perhaps she was in another hospital bed within this hospital. Or in another hospital entirely. When one of the nurses did try to tell Emilia about her mother, perhaps to tell her about her wellbeing and whereabouts, Emilia only interrupted, saying she didn't want to know. *Of course, Emilia assumed there was some sort of investigation to find out who was at fault, and Emilia learned later from a second-hand source, that her mother had been taking drugs that night.'Oh.' Emilia said to herself. And she said no more. *When Natasha did finally visit her daughter, Emilia saw that she was perfectly well. She seemed to suffer no serious injury, she could walk, and had no bruising that Emilia could see. Natasha sat awkwardly in the chair beside Emilia's bed, resting her handbag on her lap. 'Hey' she said shortly.Emilia turned her head towards mother, responding generically. 'God that looks ugly,' Natasha said, seeing the temporary false leg Emilia had been given. 'I hope they've got a better one for when you leave. You can't be seen wearing that.'Emilia only sighed, closing her eyes. She didn't have the energy to speak with her mother, in fact, she didn't want to see her at all. Emilia was thoroughly exhausted, both mentally and physically. Having lost her leg was a big shock to her, as was learning to walk again. She didn't want to waste her voice on Natasha, and luckily her mother didn't stay long. Natasha left only a few minutes later, staying no longer than five.And that was the last time Emilia ever saw her, for she learned later that her mother was dead. Died from an overdose, supposedly an accident. Emilia thought that she had just been careless. Likely she hadn't meant for it to happen. She knew her mother didn't want to die. *When the time finally came, Emilia left the hospital alone, walking through the doors. Her false leg attached. 'I'm not going to let this bring me down' Emilia told herself, eyes wide and soul burning with determination. She raised her head. 'Every day is a golden opportunity' Emilia said, 'to better yourself, and to better the life of those around you. If I've learned anything...its patience, it's never to be hateful, and it's the knowledge that things can always get better...'Emilia raised her head, looking towards the skies. Dear mother in hell. Today is my first day, the first day of the rest of my life...and I will live it to the fullest...*THE END