I've always pondered on deaths door, but he's never opened. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life.
I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been wa...
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"Is it worth it?" I ask myself, looking down at the cocaine spread across my desk. My leg bounces up and down as I scroll through my computer, researching this thing.
Cocaine is a highly addictive stimulant that ups your levels of alertness, attention, and energy. It's made from the coca plant, which is native to South America. Each tab says the same thing just in their own words. Except this tab is giving me the condition risks.
- Arrhythmia. - Atherosclerosis. - Endocarditis.
Yeah, I have no idea what any of this is which makes it irrelevant. Close tab.
SuddenlyI hear 'Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon' playing. It echoes throughout my room, but with my trillion tabs open, I can't figure out which tab it is.
I bop by head up and down as I search the tabs for the song. I mumble the lyrics of the song while I delete and reread certain tabs.
Finally I find the one and I pause the music, being left in a quiet room once again. A quiet mind.
I really don't know if I will regret this, but I'm in pain. Zain said that this is a whole lot better. He said that this will stop the pain and leave me happy and productive. He seemed like he knew what he was talking about.
I slowly move my hand towards the coke, opening the packet and spreading it. I take my gift card that I used for the Xanax, forming a straight line with the powder.
I grab my wallet out of my backpack, seeing what bills I have. Hundreds only. I pick one out, rolling it up.
"Fuck it." I say, placing the bill by the beginning of the line before I inhale it. My nose begins to itch and I scrunch it up, wiping under my nose. I throw my head pack, letting out a deep sigh of relief.
There's no going back.
I look back at the remaining cocaine that I was unable to catch, feeling a sense of regret. I wish I could undo this.
My mouth is slightly open and I can feel my heart pounding. I suddenly unable to breath properly, my stomach is churning and the walls are closing in. My body shivers and my mind wanders.
There's no going back.
༄･ﾟ࿐ ࿔*:
Never mind, I don't want to go back. I haven't stopped thinking about the substance that just made me feel...powerful. When I snorted the snow it felt like everything was falling perfectly into place. I haven't stopped smiling ever since.
I've gotten all my semesters notes done and I'm a freaking genius since I've come up with the best idea ever. I burst into Norah's bedroom, already knowing that she hasn't slept. She jumps when the door hits the wall, leaving a slight dent in the wall. "Do you know what, Norah?" I walk towards her. She sits by her mirror on the floor as she shakes her head. "I'm going to drop out of school tomorrow." I bend drop down to the floor, criss-crossing my legs.
