who am i to you?

20.1

Dear Vy,

   Hey, this letter is in a red envelope with hearts. So if you still can't get the idea, I'll tell you.

    I like you.

    For now, it's only like. But you're too irresistible so I don't think it'll stay that way.

   Anyway, let me tell you how I've come to like you.

   I've long known I'm bi. And you're the one of the first few guys I like. I'll tell you later who's the first.

   So, I first saw you peeking through the window of your room. I can't forget that curly hair of yours and how fluffy it looks. It was indeed fluffy now that I've touched it many times. You're so cute hiding. If you think no one is looking, just to let you know, I've caught you all the time you were looking at Shi.

   I first just found you interesting and cute. Later, I found myself lying to Shi that the music room isn't available at home so that we can practice at his house. That way, I can see you. And I'm successful.

   I never thought I'd actually be able to meet you personally. I just know your name from Shi.

   Vasily. The cute kid I always see on Shi's childhood photos. You're even cuter back then, by the way. And your name sounds so cool.

   I've always wanted to meet you. And that did happen. This may sound evil but I'm glad Dale left the band. Because that was the reason we became what we are today, as of this moment as I'm writing this letter. We became friends at least.

   In the future (maybe I did it already now that you're reading this) I'm planning to tell you my feelings. But right now, let me just snatch moments of us together. You're currently in love with the guy who was my bi-awakening.

   Yeah, Shi was my first guy crush. And I know well how you've come to like him.

   So for now, let me just be clingy to you even though you like him. If I see the chance, I'm gonna tell you my feelings. But if I don't, maybe I'll just bury this. At least I get to feel what it's like to have you beside me even though not as a lover. Even just your friend.

   So if I wasn't able to confess, this is it.

   I really like you. That's it.

Love,
Saint

Is this real? Did he really write this? Is this not a joke?

Does Saint really like me?

I know Saint isn't the type to make this big of a joke just to make fun of me. If he really did make fun of me, he's oblivious that this made something in me die if he tells me that this is a joke. And I might just actually jump off a bridge.

Did someone else write this and send it to me to play a joke? But who knows I like Saint besides me and Mom? Was I too obvious on how I acted that people found out and made this letter? But this was from the start of the year. Saint and I weren't as close to each other that time as we are now. Or probably, someone slipped this on the box just recently to make fun of me. Those letters were not really super confidential things that require twenty-four hour monitoring so it is highly possible that someone put this in there.