who am i to you?

24.2

Our usual agenda during practice went on. Drix never mentioned about the talk we had earlier and with his nature, he seems to have forgotten about it already. He's more focused on making us perfect the guitar solo of the song he wrote. He wrote it brutally, mind you.

When we finished, we tidied up the music room as usual. We stayed on the couch for a while, catching our breath from that tiring practice.

Saint, who's sitting beside me, held my arm, saying something in a low voice. "Stay for a while."

My head was resting on the back of the couch. I took my eyes off the ceiling and faced him and his eyes asking me to stay. Seeing him like this is the same as usual. He always looks at me like this as if he wants me to stick with him all day. I'd gladly stare at him all the time but seeing the bruise on his cheek and the dried wound on his lips send guilt running up my throat.

"Okay."

I put my pastel green guitar on its usual case, putting it in the corner of the music room on a stand beside Saint's guitar. After that, I'd usually be walking out with Shi so when I turned around, I saw him looking at me, waiting.

"I'll stay for a while," I told him. "Mauna ka na."

He raised one brow, probably from curiosity. When I thought he'd ask, he didn't and just nodded. "Sure."

Without question asked, he bid his goodbye to Saint and went out of the house with Drix.

"Tara sa kwarto ko."

I was still staring at the door where Shi left when Saint placed his arm on my shoulders, smiling at me. With one last glance to the door, I went with Saint to his room.

We threw ourselves on his bed, lying side by side while staring at the ceiling. Being in this moment with nothing but silence enveloping us, it's the perfect moment for talking something about the planets, theories about why we're here and whatnot.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm thinking, would this all be easier if I were a girl," I replied, eyes on the ceiling.

"Hmm?" I felt a shift on his side of the bed.

"I mean. Loving you or just in general, living as I am. Would it be way easier if I were a girl?"

"I'll still like you as a girl."

A grin stretched my lips. I turned my face to him. "Perks of being bisexual? More options?"

He shrugged one shoulder, the same grin on his lips. "To tell you the truth, I don't ever think about that. What ifs are scary."

"Yeah." I looked at the ceiling again. "But you can't help having what ifs in your life."