I'm Also A We // Hyunlix

All The Things I Didn't Want (You) To Know, Pt. 1

NOW

H Y U N J I N

Hyunjin remembers the night Chan met with BamBam, remembers it with a painful squeeze around his heart, whenever he thinks about the look on his hyung's face when he came back that day. And the devastation running through him, evaporating from him like a cloud. Like fire catching everything it touches. It was one of those rare moments when he couldn't hold his emotions in, and they bled over to the others, leaving the group confused and sad.

Felix did his best to explain, to share what he heard. Hyunjin didn't approach Chan for more explanations, but he kept an eye on him since then, and now that he was looking, he found more and more cracks that he somehow had known were there but had intentionally ignored. That realization came with a big amount of guilt but after talking to Jeongin and Jisung, he learned that he hadn't been the only one to do it.

The days after are a blur, their schedule keeping them busy, but every day comes with a new level of distrust. Towards the managers, the staff, and everyone they meet that is related to their own company.

More explanations come exactly two weeks later, only two days before they'd all get time off, and first Felix and then Chan would leave for Australia.

It had taken that long for Chan to find a good, unsuspicious moment to meet up with BamBam again, and this time there's no sneaking out, no car stealing. The rest of the members meet in the hyung dorm, for a movie night they had explained to the staff earlier when asked for their Friday night plans. Hyunjin is surprised at how easy it is for him to play the part already, to lie to people he's been trained to rely on.

There's food, and all of them decided to order something, but there's no movie. Instead, they're all sat in the living room, physically, but in their minds, they're someplace else.

Hyunjin looks around, trying to figure out where he is, but it's a non-descriptive hotel room, Seoul alive and busy outside the window, and Hyunjin can't exactly tell where they are and maybe that's exactly the point.

It's a nice, spacious room, a set of sofas in the middle of a living room, and Chan sits on one side, BamBam across from him. There's food too, and an opened bottle of whiskey. Hyunjin wonders if they're planning to drink anything or if they will pretend and pour away half the bottle as they do in the movies, so the hotel staff can see that it was just two friends meeting up for drinks in case someone asks.

"Your kids with you?" BamBam asks, crossing one leg over the other. This time, Chan has called for them all to join him, more than an hour after he left the dorm, and they'd all been restless.

Chan looks at them now, surrounding him like they usually do in TV appearances, so close that it looks funny to Hyunjin, the eight of them on one side, on the sofa or on the floor, (eight he reminds himself several times even though he can't see Felix), and BamBam alone on the other. Chan nods and Hyunjin can tell how nervous he is. Not just about what BamBam has to say, but about having all seven of them in his mind, so close to the very emotions Chan's been trying to hide from them way before the bond started.

"Good. We're all here too."

There's a nervous chuckle around Hyunjin, and it's surreal to think that they're all in the same room with the members from GOT7, people they've all been looking up to, but neither of them can see the other. He almost laughs at the absurdity of it.

BamBam chuckles, too. "It's weird seeing you like this, man," he says, smiling. "Like you're all leader now and not, you know, not Chris."

Hyunjin glances over to Chan, looking for a reaction, but there's barely anything. BamBam is right. That right there is Bang Chan, leader of Stray Kids. And he's here for them.