I'm Also A We // Hyunlix

In My Head

THEN

H Y U N J I N

It's not even three days into the forced covid break that Hyunjin's sleep schedule is completely upside down. He's not good at keeping up with one to begin with, stays up until the early morning some days and then sleeps fifteen hours straight on others. But the lack of schedule is making it easier to fall into the trap of afternoon naps, and then he's wide awake by three in the morning.

He's not the only one.

He's texted with Chan and facetimed Jisung, neither of them seeming as if they were about to go to bed soon.

He reached out to Felix too, just checking in, because he keeps picturing the look on his face when he learned about the covid test, the crestfallen, shocked gaze. Jeongin had cried, and Hyunjin had done his best to console him, but it is Felix who keeps appearing whenever he closes his eyes to sleep.

Felix didn't answer. Hyunjin hopes that it means that he's already asleep but he can't be sure. He thinks back to the plane ride over here, and the way Felix had looked so small curled up next to Changbin. He's not sure why he thinks about that but it keeps coming back. Like it means something. And that moment Felix had woken up and reached out to push a strand of hair out of his face. Only it wasn't his, Hyunjin's face, but Changbin's. Hyunjin knows that now, but he's still not sure what he's supposed to do with the knot in his stomach whenever he thinks about that.

He falls into a light sleep at half past four when the sun is already coming back up. He forces himself out of bed to draw the curtains shut, and then he buries himself deep under the covers, finally tired now that the world around him starts to stir awake again.

It's not that much later that Hyunjin blinks his eyes open, still half asleep but surprised at the presence next to him in the bed. He's not awake enough to remember who the other person is or how they got here, asleep enough to just accept it. Except his body doesn't obey him, instead shuffles closer, sneaking an arm around the person in front of him.

There's more to it. A pull in his chest he recognizes, a warmth that makes his heart ache with how strong it is. How much it covers. It's like a blanket Hyunjin wants to envelop himself with, only the feeling is coming from his own body, which is not quite right but also not wrong.

The body in front of him starts pushing back; slow, soft pressure against his groin. There's a rumble in his chest, tingling inside his whole body. "Hmm." It's his mouth making the noise, at least he thinks so, but he's not quite sure this isn't a dream.

"Fuck, Channie," the man in his arms growls. "We have to sleep at some point."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he recognizes that voice, but another realization is much more prominent. He's completely naked. And the guy in his arms is too.

Hyunjin draws in a sharp breath and then he's suddenly no longer on the bed but on the floor beside the bed, looking up.

And then there's Chan staring down at him, wide-eyed. The duvet has slipped enough to inform Hyunjin that Chan is indeed naked.

And Changbin, who's blissfully asleep, is naked, too.

o

Hyunjin gets a text from Chan the moment he's slipped back into his own body and bed.

'Can we pls talk?'

Panic sweeps over him, thick and sour, and Hyunjin gets out of bed and into the bathroom before he realizes that the feeling is somehow distant, foreign. Not fully his.

He splashes water into his face.

It doesn't help.

He goes back into the room where he can see that Chan is still on the kakaotalk app, anxiously waiting for Hyunjin's reply.