I'm Also A We // Hyunlix

The Sum of Seven, Part V

NOW

H Y U N J I N

There are glimpses of the hospital in Hyunjin's memory. Small moments. The harsh overhead light of the room. The sound of two nurses chatting while they changed the bandage on his hand. Kind smiles.

Later, when Jeongin asks him, careful and unsure if he's allowed to, Hyunjin will tell him that only once was he truly afraid. He'd woken up in a strange room that he didn't remember getting into, and he didn't know what day it was. Minho had been the first to show up then, and it was his gentleness that calmed Hyunjin, just before all the others showed up, and before a nurse walked into his room and gave him a sip of water and then with a smile adjusted something on the IV that made Hyunjin fall back into a dreamless sleep. He tells Jeongin that everyone was nice to him for the few moments he was awake. That the only hint that something was off was the fact that his members had seemed so nervous and so relieved to see him.

He comes to in the car, at least enough to realize that he's no longer in the hospital. He's in the backseat, Minho next to him and Changbin on the other side. He goes in and out on the drive home, so he's not sure who's driving. He sees Chan there, but other times he looks over he sees Jisung instead, and he knows that there's something wrong with that picture, but he can't really tell what.

"We got you, Hyunjinnie," Changbin says, and the way he's clutching Hyunjin is tight and painful but Hyunjin doesn't say anything, and he will not mind the bruise on his right shoulder when he spots it the next morning, or the warm feeling it gives him every time he looks at it.

The next time he's awake more than just a fracture of a moment, he's in his own bedroom, his own bed, but it still feels like half a dream. His room looks off, the way a home looks after being away on vacation or on tour for so long that the familiarity is gone and all the things are missing the personal connection. His sketchbooks are opened on the desk, the pencils next to them as if waiting for him to come back.

o

The second time he wakes it's because someone's crawling into his bed.

"You smell nice," Hyunjin says still with his eyes closed, not sure why that's the first thing he notices.

Felix doesn't answer, instead makes a small choked-off sound and pushes closer, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin who welcomes him instantly. He smells like soap and shampoo, and that warm, damp scent of someone freshly out of the shower.

"You're really here?" Hyunjin whispers. He doesn't want to open his eyes and risk that this is a dream and he's not actually home.

"I'm really here," Felix says and his voice sounds so strained as if he'd been crying, but it's real and solid and Hyunjin pulls him closer, drifting back to sleep. Faintly, he hears Felix cry and feels his body tremble with every sob, but even those subside eventually.

o

When he wakes up later, it's because he's still wrapped around Felix and it's too warm now. Hyunjin remembers nights at the old dorm when they slept like that sometimes, he and Felix or he and the others, and that memory brings a quiet comfort.

He slips out of the embrace but keeps one hand in Felix's, a small point of contact. He worries that Felix will wake up if he lets go of him fully. But he opens his eyes now, taking in the sight of Felix, his head pillowed on one arm, still fast asleep. He remembers a dream he had, of being held by Chan, who then turned into Minho, flickering between the two like the dream couldn't decide what image to project, but then they both went away and Felix was there, holding him, looking down.

Hyunjin's awake now, like he hasn't been in days, and he has no idea what time it is, feels a little as if he's the one with jet lag. As if he flew back from Australia with Felix, and his internal clock is thrown off. It's bright in his room, the sun painting a corridor on the floor. Late morning then, Hyunjin concludes.