I'm Also A We // Hyunlix

Aftermath

NOW

H Y U N J I N

He sees it in their faces when he meets the other members the next morning for an early schedule. As usual, they've eaten their breakfasts alone or in smaller groups, all of them on slightly different sleep schedules and morning routines. Felix wasn't in the room when Hyunjin woke up, probably eating with one of the others or skipping breakfast entirely for an early morning workout.

Hyunjin is the last to come down. He spots Felix standing with Changbin and is relieved when his back is turned.

They all know, to some degree, what happened between him and Felix the night before, Hyunjin can tell. Minho's and Chan's gazes are subtle and slightly concerned, while Jeongin's and Seungmin's faces speak of open curiosity. No one says anything, at least not right away, and Hyunjin is grateful for it.

The night before, Hyunjin had climbed back into his own bed, and they hadn't exchanged a single word, even though the room was thick with running thoughts, and he only fell asleep once Felix finally did, hours later.

Hyunjin doesn't look at Felix now and makes sure to choose the second van when Felix chooses the first, even though he can feel Felix's gaze on him, and the not-so-subtle disappointment coming from Changbin at his behavior.

Hyunjin is grateful for the disappointment because it echoes his own and with it the guilt and the shame. Both of which only grow when he realizes that they're not taking root inside him for the obvious, cliche reasons, but for a secret much deeper. One he's not fully grasping just yet.

Changbin sits next to him in the van on their way to the venue, and Hyunjin waits for him to say anything, the words so close to the surface that Hyunjin can feel Changbin vibrating with them.

In the end, he just nudges his shoulder and waits for Hyunjin to meet his eyes.

"Don't hurt him, okay?" Changbin says, quiet enough so it's only for his ears. "And don't get hurt yourself."

The blush is quickly rising in Hyunjin's cheeks and he doesn't ask what exactly it was Changbin felt from them the night before, so he only nods. And then notices the glance Changbin shoots over to where Chan is sitting, a cap pulled low into his face and completely engrossed in his phone.

Hyunjin slips into the connection as easily as thinking, standing in the car now, hovering over Changbin, while he's also still sitting beside him.

Changbin cocks an eyebrow at him.

"Channie-hyung loves you, you know?" Hyunjin says in their minds, where it's safe and no one else can hear, and then he slips back into himself, watching for Changbin's reaction. It's not a revelation, he doesn't think. Not like exposing a long-kept secret. But he felt like it needed to be said. Like Changbin needed to hear it from someone else.

His hyung doesn't react for a long time. He clenches his jaw as if mulling over the words in his head. And then, finally, he nods. "I know that," he says. "I know he does. But sometimes-" He pauses as if he's expecting the next words to hurt him and he's unsure whether to say them out loud. "Sometimes I'm not sure if that's enough."

Hyunjin reaches for Changbin's hand and squeezes it, and he doesn't let go until they've arrived.

o

The day takes a turn for the better after that. Shooting schedules and rehearsals for a concert weekend are as close to a routine as they have, so muscle memory takes over and with it, some of the ever-present worries seem to fall into the background.

In the early afternoon, more staff is around, which is normal, and they're introduced to the two new managers the company hired to take over for Baekhyun. They all can sense the weariness in Chan when they show up but they're so distracted with work that it falls into the background too.