I'm Also A We // Hyunlix

Pulling Strings

NOW

H Y U N J I N

Hyunjin blinks his eyes open, and then yawns, stretching in the confines of his business class seat. He often falls right back asleep when they take off, something he can't fight, like the plane climbing higher and higher into the sky is pulling him under. He usually wakes up ten minutes into it as he does now, gazing out the window and watching the clouds, a calm after the storm that is the airport and the press and the screaming fans.

Seungmin next to him is still sleeping. Most of them are, Hyunjin realizes when he looks around. Jisung and Minho are both buried under their blankets but turned towards each other as if they'd fallen asleep mid-conversation. Hyunjin can see only Jisung's face from here, that adorable little open-mouthed pout of him sleeping, something he's seen more times than he could ever remember, and it's still tugging at his heart.

Even Chan is sleeping, and Changbin is the one working on his laptop next to him.

Hyunjin's gaze travels to where Jeongin is sitting, playing with his phone. And Felix curled up and asleep next to him.

Hyunjin dips into their shared consciousness, just slightly brushing over them as if he would be lightly brushing over Kkami's head. There's a calmness blanketing them all. He's not sure if it's caused by one person or the sum of them, or how long it can last, but right now it's there, heavy and strong enough to keep out the nerves buried underneath it.

Something tingles in his head and Hyunjin turns to find Changbin looking back at him. He must have caught him, and he wriggles his brows in a lewd way, eliciting a giggle out of him.

It's been awkward for all of an hour the next morning after their night together. Chan and Changbin had been the worst, blushing furiously the next time their minds connected while Felix and Hyunjin were waiting for their flight back to Korea. They got over it quickly enough when both Minho and Jisung couldn't stop making jokes about what happened, including an ever-suffering Seungmin and a bewildered Jeongin, until even Felix joined in. That broke the ice.

It wasn't over then, or fully okay just yet, but the worst had been over the moment Felix and Hyunjin boarded the plane from Paris to Seoul. That moment sits weeks in the past now.

Hyunjin's gaze lands on Felix again. They haven't talked yet.

He knows that they should, that every day they're letting go by without talking about what this means, what it meant when Felix offered up his feelings for Hyunjin, and when Hyunjin stepped into that bathroom, is making things worse, and harder to bridge.

It's Hyunjin's fault. He's not pushing Felix back exactly, that's not what this is, but he's not letting him in fully, and he knows it's hurting Felix. Can feel it like it's his own pain, which it is, in a way.

"Stop making that face or you'll get wrinkles, Hyunjin-ah," Changbin says in his mind, sitting next to him now instead of Seungmin, pointing at Hyunjin's frown.

"Fuck you," Hyunjin laughs.

"You need to talk to him," Changbin says, echoing Hyunjin's thoughts.

Hyunjin's head drops. "I know."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit."

Hyunjin glances at Changbin, ducking his head now that he's been found out.

Changbin leans forward. "Bullshit," he says again, hitting that tone that sits just between anger and softness the way only Changbin can.

"What if I don't love him?" Hyunjin whispers, even though they're only talking in his own head.

Changbin huffs. "Are you serious right now?"