I'm Also A We // Hyunlix

Two Steps Forward

THEN

H Y U N J I N

They don't talk about it, about the bond. It's as if the acceptance of it, of something so wild and unbelievable, is built into the change itself, like a mechanism to make sure none of them is going insane. Acceptance came with the bond and the newness of it was gone the moment it started.

They're too busy to really dwell on it too, the schedule in the States is packed and now that the covid-induced break is over, whenever they're not shooting something, they're keeping up with rehearsals and trips to the gym.

Even Hyunjin joins now, bored in his room. At least that's what he tells himself, even though he quietly thinks that it's the members he wants to be around, which he's felt before but never to this extent. He values his alone time, enjoys staying in his room all day, but something has shifted, something small among the big, as if the connection in his head is pulling him towards the others.

It's a big group at the hotel gym that day. Minho has joined, and Felix too, and they even have a personal trainer booked, a black guy with broad shoulders and arms twice as big as Hyunjin's legs, who Chan already seems to be best friends with. He's giving Chan and Changbin a different set of workouts and Hyunjin is grateful, already sweating from what was promised to be a light warm-up.

They're doing bodyweight exercises and Hyunjin is between Minho and Felix, and through the mirror, he can see the other guys too. They make a funny picture, the group of small guys all dressed in black shirts and shorts. Chan and Changbin have already removed said shirts, just waited long enough for the cameras for their SKZ Talker series to be gone. Now they're only wearing thin tanktops that stretch over their muscles. Every movement is mesmerizing, like a dance in the sunlight, the sheen of sweat glistening, and Hyunjin knows how other people react to him when he's sweaty like that, and now he gets it.

Hyunjin catches himself looking for too long, his mouth dry and his heart beating faster, and it's not only the result of the workout. He catches Minho's eyes and from the way his hyung blushes and looks away, he knows he's not the only one noticing it. The charged air. It's not all him, Hyunjin can tell. He catches how Chan's eyes first trace over Changbin's back, lingering, lingering, and then Hyunjin's arms, and Hyunjin would have missed it if he didn't look for it. But he does notice, and that gaze sends a shiver down his spine.

Chan blushes a dark crimson, his ears on fire when he notices that he's been caught staring.

They do three sets of burpees, groans filling the air while their trainer has no idea what's going on, and Hyunjin wonders who started it, who sparked this arousal, because arousal is what it is. Arousal in its primal, naked form, amplified by who knows how many of them, infecting each other like a virus. There's no shame in it either, at least not now.

He feels it pulsing from around him just as much as from within himself, hears it in Minho's breathing, the effort of pretending everything's normal evident in those carefully labored and too loud breaths, and Hyunjin is glad that he has an excuse for the redness in his face when he realizes what that sound does to his body.

Felix is on his other side, and Hyunjin looks at him through the mirror, mesmerized by the way he's clenching his jaw, his eyes closed, looking to anyone else as if he's pushing through the exercise, but even without the bond, Hyunjin knows better. And he wants to know what Felix is thinking about, imagining, or pushing away from his thoughts, it's all the same. The moment is so charged that Hyunjin's not even ashamed that there's a part of him that wishes he features in Felix's thoughts.

Hyunjin gasps when Felix opens his eyes and their gazes meet through the mirror, sure that this time, Felix must have heard his thoughts. It could be the light in the room or something else but Felix's eyes have never looked this dark. This hungry.