i hate this life

chapter 5

Connors pov

I don't believe Niall. "Tell me the truth Niall" i say angry. I hate it when Niall lies to me. I know it by now cus he looks away most likely he looks at the ground. He knows i hate it.

"I don't know Connor!" He says angry too. "Yes you fucking do! Don't fucking lie to me! You know i fucking hate it!" I basically yell at him. It did wake up tris cus he came down.

"You lied to us all the time! It is that Mason told us! Again i don't fucking know hows blood it was! Btw why would you even care?!" Niall and i yell a lot if we fight and i now decide to ignore him. "Im gonna change. Cus we are going to school" i say.

Nialls pov

Connor walks away and i walk to his kitchen. My arm still hurts and nothing will make it go away unless i get new pain. I grab a knife and put it on my arm again.

Before i can even cut myself someone grabs the knife away. "Have you fucking last your mind Niall?!" Tristan asks. I just try to grab a new one but tris stands in front of it so i can't grab another one. I just ignore him. I will do it when i get home.

"Who was the blood from on your knife at home Niall?" Tristan asks sternly and worriedly. "I DON'T FUCKING KNOW AND I AM NOT GOING TO FUCKING SCHOOL EITHER! HAVE A NICE DAY!" I yell at them. It stopped raining and i know everyone left at home so I'll just go there. First the store cus i need cigarettes and not just one.

Tristans pov

Niall had cut himself? I walk upstairs to connor where he is crying in his own room. I hug him and calm him down. "I just wanna help him tris" he says with tons of tears in his eyes. I feel really bad. I send the lads a text that they need to find niall before he kills himself. Well not the last part cus i don't wanna tell them that.

They start looking and i just stay with Connor. "Do you think he will kill himself?" Connor asks scared. "No. The lads are looking for him right now. Even garden lad" i say.

Liams pov

I hear the front door open but it can't be a lot of people. I look and see Niall. He looks mad and angry and sad. He walks straight to the kitchen and i follow.

Not so he sees me but so i can see him. He grabs a knife and starts mumbling things while he fucking cuts himself. He later cleans the wounds and walks to me. He goes pale when he sees me.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" He asks. "I wanted to grab something to drink but then i saw you" i say. "If you ever tell someone liam i will get you faired!" He says a bit angry. "I won't tell but i do think you should tell someone" he shakes his head. Niall is a very stubborn person.

We walk to the garden. "Why did you do it?" I ask him. "Cus i am nothing worth and no one would ever notice if i was dead or care" he says sitting in the grass.

"I would care and notice! Your friends would care and notice! Your brothers woumd care and notice!" I see a soft smile on his face. Niall grabs a cigarette and gives it to me but i shake my head. "The last time i almost died!" He laughs and lights one up.