i hate this life

chapter 10

Next morning
Louis pov

So i haven't told them yet. Niall is gonna do it. I walk to harry before everyone wakes up. Zayn and i are gonna talk to Nialls friends. How we can help him.

"Morning boo bear" i look at him as he smiles and makes breakfast. "Niall is gonna out me. He can of course but its still scary" he smiles. "I am happy you sort of gonna tell them you're gay" i kiss him softly and nod. "Gross!" We turn around and see Niall. "Like you never kissed a boy!" Harry says. Niall sits on the kitchen worktop. "I have! Some are better then others. Someone once used me but turned out to be straight" he says.

"You're weird" i say playful. "You know i get in trouble right? Like deep trouble?" He asks me seriously. "Yeah i know" i say looking down. "Its fine lou. I'll get over it. The worst they can do it ground me. Well that would be terrible but it is okay. I always find my way out" he says.

While breakfast
Nialls pov

Lou and i pretend to argue for his coming out. "At least i don't kiss men!" He says. It really hurts sometimes. I always looked up to him and zayn. "You fucking do! I saw you last week kissing some lad!" I yell.

Everything goes quiet. "Sorry i shouldn't have said that" i say. "Is this true?" Father asks looking at the both of us. "Yes. I am gay" louis says. Father turns to me and i am in deep deep trouble. "You fucking did this!" He yells. "With all the respect. I am not in the mood right  now" i walk away to Ashtons house.

"You okay?" He asks as he opens the door. I shake my head and he gets me inside. He grabs tea and i start crying again. He walks to livingroom and i see his lighter. I grab it and get it against my skin when he grabs it away from me.

"You. Talk. Now! Before i kill you myself" he says a littke angry. "I had to out louis and so i did and now my dad thinks its my fault and maybe it is and i just wanna be dead!" I tell him. He hugs me tight and Luke comes in.

I feel ash shaking his head. "He wants me to marry someone. That someone is 21 years old and i met him and please kill me!" I say. "No. No we are not killing you or let you get married" ashton says.

"And last night i had a weird talk with my mom" i tell them what she said and thet are confused. "I just don't want to get married and definitely not with him! He treats the people who work for him like shit. He makes them do stupid things! I saw it and i am scared" i say.

Connor and tristan came too. Connor is mad at me for hurting myself again and at mom for the talk we had yesterday. I just wanna cut myself again but i don't think they're gonna let me like ever. Or leave me alone. "Lets do something fun! We can take Zayn if he wants but you are a mess and you need people" Michael says. "Can liam come too?" They laugh and nod. "You 2 would make a cute couple!" Tristan just spills. We laugh even harder.