"If you lie I will tell everything our parents. And with everything I also mean your drug phase and that you only fuck around." Chan shrugged and leaned his back against the glass of the shower. Jeongin came completely in the bathroom and locked the door, so none of their parents would come in.
"Why did you lock the door. Want to make sure no one comes in while touching me again." Chans voice was cold, but Jeongin ignored it and sat down infront of the blonde.
"Chan. I'm serious about this and my feeling to you. So please just listen and comment when I finish." Chan didn't know what to expect. His stepbrother never looked this serious when talking to him.
"So, it all started when you left.
I was afraid that you'll never come back or find new friends that you would spend your time rather on than your little stepbrother.
The more you weren’t here, the more I realised my feelings for you… Yes I was young back then, but I noticed that I liked you. I couldn’t say I loved you back then, but now I’m really sure…
One night Hyunjin and I were drunk. We didn't know how, but we landed together in the bed. I wouldn't have done it if I was in the right state of my mind.
But this night changed my life way to quick.
The things I felt during the sex were good, I could drown all the voices and negative thoughts that would tell me that you hate me or will never come back again. I couldn’t hear the voices tell me that you will reject me as soon as you find out or that you would tell our parents and make them kick me out.
So I started to fuck around more and more. The feeling was like a drug, but only free and much healthier for my body. But my mind was more than a mess. I sometimes couldn't think straight and started to question myself why I was doing this and this was when I realised that it was because of you.
I figured out that I loved you more than just my brother and I couldn't endure the feeling when you left and weren't here for me.
When you once caught me with drugs, I hoped that you would talk to me more, but it only seemed like you distanced yourself more from me.
I felt horrible and wanted to change myself, but I couldn't. It was to late. The people at my school know that I'm a slit and they will never leave me alone.
But please understand how I feel towards you. If you reject me again it will only get worse.
If I can't have you I can't control myself. The one time we kissed on your bed, I didn't felt the need to sleep with you. I wanted to hold you and keep you close to me.
I want to know what it feels to love someone and how it feels to be loved. I want to experience what it means to care about a person that you love with your whole heart and are willing to change yourself for."
Chan was touched by the words of the younger. He had never thought that the younger would feel like this and that he became such a "slut" because of him.
His heart was pounding against his ribs and he feared that Jeongin could hear it.
"Please hyung. Just- just give me one chance to show you how much I… love you." Jeongin whispered. His anxiety was rising and his head was becoming hot. His hands were shaking and he nearly couldn’t bring these words out.
He couldn't look up and meet Chans gaze. The older was problaby still thinking the same of him.
Used
A whore
A Fucktoy
An alien that had no feelings
A stranger
Chan was thinking. His heart wanted to give Jeongin a change, but he knew that if he did this, they would never be accepted in society and would have a hard time, especially in school or how to tell their parents. Even if their parents were open to their sexually he didn’t know if they would accept their realationship, since they were stepbrothers.
Right, their parents would problaby be the second worst thing. They could react positive and would want their children to be happy, but on the other hand they could be disgusted and throw them out, making them homeless.
And don't start from the school. If they would ever find out, the two mould be dead within two minutes. Chan popularity and Jeongins rank of the only allowed gay boy in the school wouldn't save them from the things people would tell about them.
He didn't want Jeongin to be a victim of the bullies, just because he wanted to be selfish for once.
Jeongin stood up. He couldn't sit in the silence anymore. It was clear that Chan wouldn't accept his feeling or would understand him.
So they would be going different ways from now on.
The end
It's sad that this book is already at the end, but I told you that it would only be a short story. See you again in my other book.
Did you really thought that I would do this? My own heart would break if I would let them go away like this.
They should first talk about it and then come to the conclusion that it would be better if they stayed stepbrothers......
"Don't go." Chan said. He realised that he didn't gave Jeongin an answer and that the boy would feel horrible.
"Just say if you don't want to give me a chance. I don't mind." Jeongins eyes weren't sparkling anymore. It was like his life flame was blown out.
He felt cold and just wanted to get out of the room, but he couldn't show Chan how weak he was.
"NO! I will give you a chance, but you will have to be patient with me. I have never done something of this relationship thing and I don't want to hurt you with my actions.
The only condition that it stays under us. If one person knows about this everyone will know it the next second."
Chan could see how Jeongins eyes started to sparkle again. It didn't felt cold inside of him anymore.
"Thank you!" He sobbed out and threw himself into the olders arms, who catched him with a soft smile.
"I'll take my time with you, I promise. But you need to talk with me if you don't know if some things will hurt me. I can only help hyung if he talks with me." Chan smiled and looked down at the boy in his arms.
"Let's go now. We will discuss everything after eating." Jeongin unlocked the door again and the two walked to their parents again.
"Is everything okay. You look so pale." Chans mom asked worried.
"Everything is fine. I think I just ate something wrong this morning." Chan lied and sat down again.
Jeongin smiled to himself and enjoyed Chans food.
I problaby will add some chapter that can include smut so they get to know each other more. And I don't want to end a book this fast.
