"Can you tell me what happened?" Hyunjin asked, as they finally arrived at Jeongins home.
"He has a girlfriend now. It's Sana... he never looked at her before. Felix had once given a letter to him, where she confessed to him.
But.. I think he's mostly doing this to avoid me. I was standing in front of the classroom and they kissed, but he wasn't looking like he enjoyed it. He kissed her back, but when I kissed him he looked so... in thought and he wasn't able to forget the kiss, just like me." Jeongin explained.
"Innie, give him some time. I can understand him very well. He was in Australia for some time and when he came back you were acting like..." Hyunjin didn't want to say the word Jeongin was already used to be called.
"Just say it. I know that it's not how you really see me." Jeongin shrugged it off.
"You were acting very weird and you only fucked around. It was weird for him to see the person he knew for ten years or more of his life change this much in a year.
He also sees you as a brother and finds it wrong that you like him. He also thinks of being accepted. What if the people in school find out and what if your parents find out? I can assure you that at least one of them won't react well. I don't know how your parents will react, but I can tell you that most people in the school will hate you and bully you.
So if you would decide to keep your relationship secret and one person in the school will find out, everyone will know. You would have to tell your parents since the bullying would get worse over time or they would use the chance of the moment and you would definitely have to tell your parents right away." Jeongin blinked. He knew that they would have to keep everything secret, but he hadn't thought that it could affect their lives like this.
"I-... I just liked him for such a long time and I can't see him with someone else. It's just starting to hurt too much.." Jeongin sobbed out.
He had already loved his stepbrother for such a long time and couldn't forget him no matter how much he slept around and tried to force himself into unwanted situations.
Since Chan had gone to Australia, he realized that he was in love with Chan. Even if he was very young back then, other people were already in a relationship. (It's in my school like this. Some 12-year-old kids stand in the hallway and just kiss eww)
"I can understand you Innie, but Chan can't. He doesn't know how much you love him and that you started this dumb fucking around because you wanted to forget him.
If he doesn't know anything why you behave like this he will always reject you. He needs to see your point of view. Otherwise, it won't work." Jeongin nodded. Hyunjin was right. He had to show Chan his feelings, but the older wouldn't even let him come close to him.
Jeongin knew that he had fucked up.
“But how should I explain it when he doesn’t even let me near him?”
“Try to talk to him when he can’t escape you. He wouldn’t want anyone finding out about this. For example, when your parents will be back you can try to get him in a separate room and talk to him. He can’t throw you out or shout at you, without having to explain it to your parents.
He will have to listen to you even if he doesn’t want to and you can explain everything to him. Then you can show him that you love him and I can already tell you, he won’t scream at you at slap you. He will understand you. Even if he rejects you, he will be clear about your intentions and you still can make him fall in love with you.” Jeongin was too stunned to speak.
Since when did his best friend become such a smart person?
“Thanks, hyunne, but what if he will still be angry at me, or what if our parents find out?”
“They won’t find out. Chan wouldn’t start shouting at you and reveal your sexuality and crush to your parents because of a fight.
And even if they would find out, they wouldn’t react like other parents. Some throw their kids out because of that. I also don’t know how mine would react if I would come out to them.
But I know that your parents would accept at least your sexuality. Chan and his mother are from Australia. The people there are way more open with sexuality than in Korea. Here people have a stick in their as and the ones that don’t find in the standards of society aren’t accepted.
And your father is such a caring soul. Tell me a situation where he yelled at you or only got angry at you!” Jeongin bit in his lip.
Hyunjin was right with his parents. They would accept his sexuality. A relationship with Chan was questionable, but they throw them out.
He and Chan had luck with their parents. Many not-straight people were fearing that their parents would throw them out, disown them or treat them like a disease.
“Then I will explain it to him once our parents are here,” Jeongin promised himself.
The pain he was currently feeling was becoming too much. And even if Chan would reject him, he would come over it. He at least tried…
