~+ Outcasts +~+ Lo'ak x fem reader +~

Chapter 33 {Atala's PoV}

It's like floating in a black, endless void. No pain. No thoughts. No emotions. No identity. Only darkness.

The first sign that I'm conscious is sounds. Rushed footsteps, the soft crash of waves on the shore and voices. I'm too disoriented to make out what they're saying, but it's a sign I made it. I didn't die.

I try to open my eyes. It's bright out, and I squint against the harsh glare of the sun. A shadow leans in front of the blinding light, letting me open my eyes more. I can make out a blue silhouette over me. Maybe it's Tsireya, or Ronal.

More voices blare into my ears as more people enter the room. More footsteps, more people blocking the sun. By now, my eyes have adjusted enough that I can fully open them, even though my sight is incredibly blurry, my vision reduced to blurry shapes and colours.

"Atala?" The first word I recognize is my name. This sharpens my hearing, and I'm picking up on all sorts of conversations. They're mostly about me and my condition.

My vision clears up next. I'm lying in Ronal and Tonowari's pod and there are many people in here. I can hear Ronal, Neytiri, Neteyam, Lo'ak and more. I can't move my head yet, so my vision is limited to the ceiling. 

Ronal appears in my line of sight. "She's awake," The tsahík says. "Her senses seem to be fine, but her mobility has not fully returned, and may not for a few hours. Same with her voice."

I open my mouth to try to speak, but all there is a hoarse squeak. Someone calls for water and they help me pour it down my throat. I feel tremendously better as I swallow the water, so I take another shot at speaking.

"I'm fine," I manage to rasp. 

Lo'ak comes into my view. "You just woke up after being unconscious for two days after being shot in the chest and your first words are 'I'm fine.'" He smiles before his face turns serious and he hugs me. "I'm so glad you're alright."

My eyes burn with tears, but I blinked them back. "You too," I say.

Lo'ak lets me go as I see Neytiri shooing everyone out of the hut, claiming I need my rest. I'm fine though. Although, I can admit that the sun is burning my eyes, I feel lightheaded and dizzy and my whole body is throbbing with soreness.

"Atala, could you try moving your neck for me?" Neytiri says gently after she has shooed everyone out of the hut. I'm confused as to why she is doing this instead of Ronal. But then I remember that she was the tsahík for the Omaticaya before the Sully's came here. I oblige and move my neck. Despite my soreness, it's easier than I would have thought. In the next few minutes, I manage to wiggle my toes, fingers and tail. I'm not quite strong enough to sit up yet. 

Over the next few days, I regain my strength, getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. Most of my body was unaffected by the bullet, but the sheer amount of energy it took to heal myself was enough to make it feel like I'd been shot ten times. 

The day after I wake up, I manage to sit up and take a few wobbly steps with the help of Lo'ak and Neteyam. The next day, I can walk on my own. Just three days after that, I'm nearly back to normal. 

I'm sitting on the dock, with my feet in the water. My ilu is swimming lazily at my feet. I desperately want to dive in and swim with her. After days of being coddled and watched over by nearly the whole village, I just want to be alone again. I do appreciate their care, but it's getting to be too much.

"Atala!" A voice cries. With a slight huff at being bothered again, I turn and see Lo'ak approaching me. My heart hammers in my chest. He and I haven't been alone since the day I broke him out of the ship. I already know he's going to want to talk to me about our fight.

He sits down next to me. "I think you know why I'm here," He says, trying to catch my gaze. I don't let him, averting my eyes down to my Ilu. "I want to have an open discussion about our...argument."

I sigh slightly. "Sure, Lo'ak. We can talk and you can convince me to trust you again." I turn to look at him. The pain of the fight and Lo'ak's assumption against me is still raw, and it hurts. While I keep my face neutral, I let some of the pain show in my eyes.

His eyes seem to harden with pain and soften with sympathy all at the same time. "Ok," he says, and he starts to get up. "I promise you can trust me again." He says, looking down at me.

I stare into the horizon before meeting his eyes. "Don't tell me that I can trust you. Prove it." 

Lo'ak doesn't say anything, but I hear his footsteps receding.

I want to trust him, I really do. But after years of being ignored and bullied by the village people, the people I was supposed to call family, it can be a little hard to trust people. And after Lo'ak was so quick to assume the worst, that just brought back memories of my childhood, being falsely accused again and again of things that I didn't do. 

I eventually learned that I was going to be blamed anyway, so I just started causing trouble. If you're going to get blamed, might as well have fun. 

I want to trust Lo'ak again, very badly. But I can't get hurt like this again. I can only hope Lo'ak will pull through and manage to regain my trust.