Bad Enough For You (Alex Gaskarth Fan Fiction)

We Split

The guys sat me down in Alex's living room once we left the hospital. A strange feeling lingers in the air and it's heavy. The all look at each other expectantly as if they don't know who should say what or when. The silence drags on for what seems like days and I can't take this heavy feeling on my chest any longer.

"Would someone just tell me what's going on?" I ask, maybe even a little rude. Alex squeezes my hand and moves from beside me to in front of me on the floor. He takes both of my hands in his large ones and smiles faintly.

"It's over now." He says quietly.

My heart begins racing. "What's over?" My voice is partially caught in my throat.

Rian clears his throat. "The band." He is very short and emotionless when he speaks.

"What?" I ask, my voice hitting a very high note. "Why? It was your dream!" I shout and lunge up, throwing Alex's hands from mine. He responds quickly by standing up and holding my arm firmly. "You guys loved it out there. I've seen it. They love you. You all worked so hard for this!" Rian looks down and Zack approaches me slowly.

"You're more important to us than some band, Ri." His eyes are soft but tears are hiding behind them.

"No." I say, tears filling my eyes. The lump in my throat can't be swallowed back down. "You guys can't do that. Please."

"It's too late." Zack says. "We called Matt."

"We're still gonna do gigs at bars or at the park. We're still gonna play for people. We just don't want to tour or be making CD's anymore. The fame can get you hurt and change us." Alex says. "It changed me in such a way that I won't forgive myself."

"I love you just the way you are, Alex. I love you all just how you are." I protest.

"I love you too, Ri, but it has to be this way." Alex sighs.

"I won't let you!" I shout at the idea.

"Matt has already called everyone and the media knows, Riley. Maybe in a few years when things are back to normal and we all are a little more past what happened we can go back to it again. I'm sure it could happen." I cross my arms at Rian and look at the ground. I feel awful that they're making such a rash decision.

Jack is pouting in the chair and mumbles to himself quietly. I can still hear his frustrations though. Even if I couldn't, he doesn't attempt to hide it. "Jack," I call to him and walk over. He lifts his head and smiles weakly at me. "What is it you feel?"

He adjusts himself in the chair and sighs heavily as he searches for words. "I mean, it really upsets me, it upsets us all. However, I think it has to be done. I have full intention of still playing and even getting back into the business once this is all over. We just need a break." That's the most serious I have ever heard Jack become.

"Are you sure this is the right thing?" I finally give up the fight. "I only ever want you all to be happy. Make this decision for you, not for me." With my head down, I walk out of Alex's living room and out the door. I cross my arms over my chest and open the car door for my bag of clothing. I root through until I find a random outfit and I ball it up and carry it with me. I'm not sure where I'm going. Just away.

As I walk, I look all around and notice that not a thing has changed since we left. All the same things are here in the same condition. It's comforting actually. I was expecting it to be frustrating, you know? After seeing so much of this country I'm back to everything I know. I could pick out every tree I've previously ran to when I was younger or give directions to every street.

But now, I'm on a back path in the woods leading to God knows where and it's a strange feeling to not know exactly where I am here. There's a familiar feeling that exhilarates me but I haven't quite been able to pinpoint why I have it or why this place is significant.

I had recently turned off of a stone and dirt road which didn't ring a bell either. Off through the trees, I see an end of the forest. Beyond here is a lake. I pick up the pace and even begin to run to the lake. The sun ion setting over the lack and when you look across it, you can see lights from the city. They aren't close but you can see them shining for sure. The lake is a very beautiful place. I wish I had come here when I was younger. I would have never left.

I look around and see that there isn't anybody else here, which really shocks me. I would have expected some teenager swimming or making out in a car. Or ever somebody fishing late into the night. But there is nothing. No one. There isn't even a sign that anyone has been here recently. There is no trash scattered or even any cigarette butts lying on the ground.

Then I do see a sign. But not a sign that someones been here, a sign why no one has been here. It's a no trespassing sign with rust decorating the edges of it. My heart races with excitement of doing something risky and I love the sensation. I can't remember the last time this feeling pulsed through my veins but I won't let it stop. I look everywhere for a sign of anything and since there is none, I grab my shirt and yank it off over my head and wriggle out of my shorts. I leave myself in my underwear before I approach the water. I sit on the edge of the grass and dangle my feet in.

The water isn't cold but it also isn't warm. It's just perfect. The sun is still in the process of setting and it paints the sky in wonderful shades of orange and pink. It won't be long until it's completely dark now. It's pretty close anyway. Only a sliver of the sky is left with those shades of colors. The rest is engulfed in a dark blue with little pieces of glass scattered through it. It's so gorgeous here. It's unbelievable.

I check my phone for the time. Alex has texted and called me. I have been gone for about two hours by now. He's pretty worried. I feel bad just leaving like that after finally being reunited but I needed some air. I guess I could have told him where I was. I just feel awful about the band splitting. That is what brought us all so close together. It's something they loved dearly and now it's over. I hope that they will get back together one day. In fact, I'm sure that they will.

Now that it's dark out, I reach down and pull off the panties and sit them beside me. As I reach behind my to unhook my bra, I feel a set of hands unhook it for me and swiftly throw it to the side. I gasp and look behind me, covering myself up as well. Alex laughs and sits next to me, completely clothed.

"I've missed it here too." He says and smiles. His eyes are on the city lights.

"Missed it? Why?" I uncover myself and reach for his hand. He smiles and squeezes it in his palm.

"This is where I brought you." He looks over at me, keeping eye contact.

"Oh my gosh!" I gasp and cover my mouth. I look around and suddenly recognize this place. I suddenly understand why I felt so strange coming here and I know why I feel this way now. I remember. "Alex," I begin.

"Nah, it's okay. You came here for a reason." He smiles. "I felt like you would be here. So why are you naked?" He finally breaks eye contact and checks me out, laughing the entire time.

My face burns red. "I wanted to swim and I liked the feeling that I shouldn't be here."

He pulls his shirt off in that sexy ways guys do and I watch him. "Can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?" He chuckles as he slides his pants off.

"Shut up and kiss me." I demand. He hastily grabs my face on either side and i fall back on the grass because of his strength. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. One of his hands slides up into my hair and pulls on it tightly, making me pull from the kiss and gasp. His lips trail down my neck now. "Alex, this is wrong." I whisper.

"So was being naked." He laughs and pulls away from me.

"Shut up," I joke and smack his arm as he slides into the lake. I slide in after him and we wade out to where the water is to our chests. He wraps his arms around me and engulfs me in his warm hug. His breath bounces off my neck and it sends chills down my spine. Goosebumps show up all over my body. He pulls back to look at me.

His warm brown eyes have not changed either. And neither has this moment, these feelings. "Jesus Christ. I love you, Riley Bonnex." He says and kisses me feverishly, his hands trailing down my stomach under the water. Excitement races through me.