He Says I'm Like An Ocean

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It’s been about a week since Alex almost found out, since Tony and Vic took a lie for me. All Time Low now has their bus again thankfully. We just finished moving all of our stuff back to our bus and it’s just Jack and I right now. Alex, Rian, and Zack had just left to go buy more food and toiletries. I’d offered to go, but Alex thought it be best I stay behind, what with my stuffy, red nose and coughing. He was making Jack watch me just in case I got worse.

               I’m not one who gets dreadfully sick, or sick at all, so I assume this is just allergies. After all, we’re used to the Baltimore air, and now here we are, in Florida for the next show in three days. The spare time will most likely be spent swimming at the beach, I would hope. I love swimming. I haven’t really had a chance to enjoy it for a while. The good old days where you could fill a tub and pretend to swim were far gone what with my awkwardly long legs, but my short body. I’m very disproportionate to say the least. Even Vic is taller than me, but only by a few inches, like three. I swear.

               Mentioning Vic doesn’t make me scared or nervous anymore. He’s just kind of there. I think after the whole incident with Alex almost knowing, it shook deep into my bones that the forbidden fruit needs to rot and rot fast. It helps now that we aren’t on their bus anymore, spending every moment with them. Not that it wasn’t fun, it’s just the best for Alex and I. Vic and I still talk when all the guys are together, but not as much as we used to. Part of me misses how we used to be close. When I really think about it, I might have only been close to his skinny jeans and hair, meanwhile he was close to my heart.

               I’m not sure if he still has feelings for me. I’m actually curious to know. Curiosity killed that cat, I’d scold myself each time I’d let my mind wander to that. His stolen gazes haven’t stopped, so I assume he still has feelings for me. The day he blew up when we were with Tony really hit me. I never really knew Vic to get that way and all I could think of was holding him, hushing away all his pain. That’s when I realized I cared about him, maybe more than I should to be quite honest.

               Have I told Alex about the kiss? No. I haven’t seen a need to. I don’t think I’ll ever let those tragic words slip my lips and to his ears. Tony still scolds me about everything. Sometimes I still get questioning looks from Jack or Jaime. They have a similar personality. I’ve always been best friends with Jack, always. He was always there for me no matter what and I wish I wasn’t keeping this from him, too.

               Maybe I should tell him. At least then he’d give me a knowledgeable answer about what Alex’s reaction would be. After all, they’ve been such great friends since they were in diapers.

               Sighing, I step out of the shower I’d taken in hopes of clearing out my nose. To no avail, my pathetic attempts to breathe turned into sniffles of snot. I yank a towel from its home under the sink and quickly scrub my hair with it so I can get the water to stop dripping onto my skin. By now, my hair was down to my lower back and needed cut, something I planned on doing until Alex bed ridded me from this stupid nose of mine.

               Wrapping the towel around myself, I exit the steamy bathroom and head to the drawer with my clothes in it. I grab a pair of black athletic shorts, not that I am athletic in any way, and a plain blue shirt. Quickly, I throw on my underwear and a sports bra, again, sports are not my thing. After dressing, I brush my wet hair in its normal place and slide on a pair of socks before leaving mine and Alex’s luxury room which all the guys envy us for.

               Finally, looking half decent, I walk past Jack who sits mesmerized by Home Alone and make a cup of black tea, adding sugar quickly before joining him on the couch. Jack and I have a love for Home Alone, although his is absurdly massive.

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