I Need Your Lips, One Last Time

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I've been sick and had three projects to work onI'm so so so sorry. I'm so behind on these updates :(

The next day, we do some more rehearsing for the concert and I still haven’t gotten nervous. Alex has been texting me and calling me without hardly any breaks in between because of our argument yesterday. We’ve been falling apart slowly and it’s becoming more and more evident as time goes on, and it makes me so depressed to be honest with you. I miss how things were before Vic ever came into my life. I wish how normal things were

               Part of me even starts to wish that the guys never even got signed, as if that ruined me. I know it’s immensely selfish to think that, but I don’t have much of a clue. I wish I could fix it, but I don’t know how. I’m tired of feeling like this.

               Sighing, I make my way back to All Time Low’s bus. We’ve finally made it to the venue and I couldn’t be happier – well, I could, but you get what I mean. I’m just tired of being stuck in that bus with Vic. Not to mention, my head is fucking pounding and I can’t remember much of last night after I started drinking. Jack has medicine for that, obviously. That’s the first thing on my to do list.

               All I can put together is that I drank because I couldn’t sleep and I felt bad, and then just having a fit of emotions afterwards. I woke up in the bathroom in the same clothes I was already in, which I still am wearing. My hangover won’t let me hardly move to take the clothes off. I’ve never really drank, so that kicked my ass into China.

               Right now, it’s almost noon and I’m in the bathroom of our bus again, searching through the medicine cabinet slowly for the medicine. The lights are all nearly blinding me as I find myself wincing every few seconds. Added on top of that, every sound feels like it’s stabbing at the barrier of my ear drums. Even just the rustle of pill bottles is killing me. Tears brim on my eyes from my pain and I grow more desperate.

               I don’t want anyone to know I’m hungover, otherwise I’d ask the guys where the pills are. Jack and Rian are still in bed. They’re awake, but they’re too lazy to move so they’ve been on their phones. Zack is already setting up his weights and I assume that’s what he’ll be doing for a good amount of time. Alex is still sleeping, to my surprise. He usually isn’t one to sleep this late. I guess Jack didn’t let him alone last night when he was drunk.

               Jack had already taken the medicine, for sure. I don’t doubt it. it’s probably what he did as soon as his eyes fluttered open this morning, aching every beam of light hitting his brown orbs. Finally, I come across the bottle I’ve been searching for, but since all of my senses are still shitty, I drop the bottle onto the bathroom floor and thus follows three more bottles I’d bumped into.

               Groaning at the noise, I put the bottles back and as I open the bottle and place the pills in my hand, Alex rounds the corner, rubbing his sleepy eyes. After yawning, he smiles. His smile fades when he realizes what I’m doing and he frowns, almost with disappointment filling his features.

               “Why are you taking those, Riley?” He asks sternly and embarrassment fills my stomach.

               “I had a bad night, okay, Alex?” I sigh and put the bottle away, tightly holding onto the pills. He shakes his head and walks over to me.

               “What’s wrong, hun?” Alex winds his arms around my waist after I swallow the pills dry.

               No more lying. “I’m worried about us, Alex. Things aren’t the same and we’re falling away from what we used to be.” Avoiding his eyes, I look down, up – anywhere to avoid those oh so pretty caramel eyes.

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