The Blog

Berwald: Inner

Berwald had always struggled with controlling his anger, especially in situations where he felt like he or someone he cared about was being wronged. He could recall a few instances in the past when he had let his rage get the better of him, such as when the neighbor's son had pushed Erland off the seesaw or when Mikkel had made inappropriate jokes. But this time was different. This time, he felt a primal rage building up inside him that he hadn't experienced since middle school.

Berwald stood across the street from the corner store, where just hours before, a violent altercation had taken place that had resulted in the police shutting down his school for the day. He was grateful that he and his friends had managed to leave before things had gotten even worse. But now, he found himself in a precarious situation. He was hungry, and although there were other places he could go to get food, he couldn't resist the pull of the corner store.

Berwald had spent most of the morning at the town's library, researching human biology and decomposition. He had to explain to the librarian that he wanted to become a mortician in the future in order to access the materials he needed. Apparently, his serious expression and quiet demeanor had helped sell the story. Now, he felt even weirder about the fact that he had managed to work up an appetite after all of that dark research.

As he stood outside the corner store, he told himself that this is just the first part of his plan. He had been trying to quit for what felt like the hundredth time, but he knew that this time he had to succeed. He had to end the pain and regain control of his life. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside the store, determined to make the right choice.

As Berwald was checking out, he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He knew who was behind the counter, and it made him question if he was really doing the right thing. But he quickly pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the task at hand.

"I need to see your ID," Allen said, eyeing Berwald suspiciously.

Berwald handed over his fake ID, trying his best to remain calm. Allen looked at it for a moment before grabbing the beer Berwald had picked up and smirking.

"I remember you being younger than me, Oxenstierna," Allen said, putting the beer behind the counter.

Berwald tried to keep his cool. "Oh, you caught me. You're the first person who bothered to ask for my ID. I usually get away with using my height and voice to my advantage."

"I can imagine. It's a far cry compared to what you used to look like. Puberty didn't fuck you up like the others," Allen chuckled.

Berwald held back a gag at the thought of Allen finding him attractive. "I hope that I'm not being weird," he said, trying to divert the conversation.

"Nah, you aren't. How old are you really?" Allen asked, handing him back his ID.

"Turned eighteen during the summer. I still feel the same though," Berwald replied, trying his best to sound convincing.

"That's because you probably haven't done much besides...lemme guess, drinking, staying up late, smoking and having sex?" Allen joked.

"Precisely, I rather wait until I'm in my twenties for the more serious stuff," Berwald said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"All right, then. Have a great day," Allen said, waving him off.

As Berwald was leaving, he knew it was time to make his move. He took his change from Allen, but not before subtly caressing his hand. He could feel Allen's eyes on him as he left the store.

"You've certainly gotten bolder..." Allen muttered to himself. "I like it."