Shadamy Fanfic: Broken

Chapter 41: Faint of Heart

Amy's POV:

Staring at him in silence, his presence becomes heavy feeling. The silent un-requited rage that's swirling around him feels so threatening, even though that rage isn't directed at me, but for me instead.

Despite the anger behind his eyes, his voice is eerily calm as he asks "who?".

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Shadow's POV:

Scrunching her eyebrows in confusion at the question, she stutters as she tries to answer.

"Um... Multiple scientists.."

"How many."

Watching her eyelashes flutter as she grimaces, she quietly exhales before murmuring "I don't want to remember."

All I can muster is an understanding nod. The thought of someone else's hands being where mine were against her will, with her screaming at them to stop, is enough to make me all but vomit.

My hands being the object that sent her back into that rancid memory is an indescribable feeling. Not being able to kill the sick humans that did it to her is even worse.

Wondering if it was G.U.N agents, operatives of the very agency that I worked with for so long. Wondering what they looked like. Wondering what they would look like lifeless on the floor.

"Shadow?"

Blinking, I feel guilty as my eyes meet her concerned expression.

She shouldn't be the one concerned right now.

"I'm sorry, beautiful."

Confused, she reaches out from underneath her blanket to grab my hand. "It's not your fault. None of it is."

Trying my best to believe her words, I ask "can I hug you?"

"Of course, why would you not be able to?..." Trailing off, the realization seems to click. As soon as it does, she grabs my shoulders with her small hands.

"Shadow, look at me. What just happened was not your fault."

Despite what she's saying, her words are still ringing in my ears.

You lied to me.

You're using me.

And the worst part of it all, is that I did lie to her. She has every reason to still feel betrayed over my actions. But for some reason... Hearing the words actually come from her mouth made my chest ache.

"I should have waited. I shouldn't have rushed you."

Feeling her hand graze my cheek, her eyes sparkle in the darkness.

"I wanted it, Shadow. And I still do."

Leaning my head against hers, I let out a sigh that I didn't realize I was holding.

"And I want you... But I want it to truly be your decision. I don't ever want you to feel pressured, or scared. There are so many things that I never want you to feel with me. Alone, upset, frustrated. And I'm afraid I may have already made you feel so many of those unwanted emotions."

With her four head still leaned against mine, she says "yes... but I've also felt love".

Pulling away to make sure that I've heard her correctly, she looks at me with a gentle smile.

"You've felt love... For me?"

She nods, a light blush spreading across her already sun burnt cheeks.

"And I'd like to think that... You've felt love for me too?"