Case 420 /finished BxB/

17. glimpse of him

He was gone.

I knew that this wouldnt have lasted. I knew he had to go sooner or later. I didnt expect it to be so soon.

I take a brisk shower and quickly get dressed. I rush out the door almost forgetting to take the keys with me.

I search the narrow hallways for a glimpse of him.

Nothing couldve happend to him, right?

The unsure thought is wondering all through my mind accupaying everything. Even if he is really gone i need to know he is okay.

I need to see his face. Even if we say goodbye and part ways for good i wouldnt mind aslong as i could see him.

The small hallways feel like theyre closing up to me. The air is stuffy and the worry in my breaths dont make it any better.

I search and search for what feels like hours. Like im searching for a thing that doesnt want to be found.

My breath hatched and my heartbeat in my troat. Please dont leave. I repeat in my mind over and over again.

I was finally finding myself.

I feel like I'm getting a panic attack and it creeps closer and closer to me resting its hand on my shoulder squeezing it tight letting me know its here.

I go to the basement to be alone and run away from everything. I turn on the lights.

The light shindes dim but to bright letting my eyes unfoced for a bit. I blink a few times and clutch my heart thats about to explode.

There he was. Sitting next to the washing machine with a phone in his hand and earphones connected to them.

His eyes are closed and he looks unaware of me standing here. He is resting agaisnt the wall of the washingmachine and his knees crulled up to his chest.

Ash hasnt left.

I walk towards him unsure if he knew i was there. He leans his head back but doesnt open his eyes.

A small smile forms onto his face "hi" he says softly into the quiet room. He opens his eyes they stare at me.

I stand a few feet away from him unsure of what to do. I dont say anything and the sound of silence is loud.

Its like the silence is so loud that its screaming into my ear to say something. To free myself from the loud quietness.

There is only a sound of a washing machine going off and a light that probably is going to set fire in a few more days. A faint sound of his earphones is heared thoughout the room.

Piano is all i could hear. The song is familiar but i cant truly place it. Its faint in my memory but i knew my brain stored it with him.

I knew he listened to the song before and maybe even showed me. Maybe he did in a time that feels livetimes back.

Thats when it clicked.

Ode to Vivian by patrick watson

We both loved the song. We used to call it ours. Before we had blood slashed on our face and the scars sratched our skins. Before we were the people we are now.

Ash his eyes stare at mine, it felt like it burned on my skin. His brown eyes are even darker in the soft dim light. The shadows on his face are even more prominent cutting his face into different shapes.

He still wears the outfit i gave him last night. The oversized tshirt is still touching his skin.

"I thought you left" i quietly into the room. My heart slows down and is slowly going bacn to speed. I start walking towards him. His eyes follow my movement like he is paying attention but he doesnt say anything.