Case 420 /finished BxB/

29. were we end

*this is the last chapter* 

2 years later and now i am here.

In aspen his arms. The picture of the dead girl in my arms flashed infront of me. He was going to have the same faith as her.

He was going to be in my arms once. I hated to even think about it.

I got out of his arms and he woke up. Shit. "Where are you going?" He asks me. His voice is painted in sleep. I stand frozen. "Going out for some air" i say to him.

"You shouldnt go alone youre still hurt" he says rubbing his eyes. Fuck. I shake my head and walk towards him.

I didnt want to say a goodbye to him. I didnt want to show the actual feelings i have for him. He doesnt need to know. He doesnt.

I closer to him and his eyes follow me but even when i am so close that i could kill him he doesnt flich or move. He knows what i can do but he doesnt care.

I lean in closer and kiss him on the forehead. The same thing i did to her for the last time.

I let my lips stay on his skin for a little to longer than i usually wouldve.

He gives me a tiny smile and puts his hand on my cheek. He puts his lips agaisnt mine and for the first time i wish this wouldnt end.

It will end. Today it will end.

I stand up and let out a breath. I walk towards the door and look back at him one more time. The last time.

"Ash" he says my name so sad that it almost made me break right infront of him. "Yes?" I ask him and try to gather all my strength while my chest tightens in my body and my eyes turn watery.

"Come here for a sec" he says and i do as he does. I can see the the details of his face more clear now in the dark.

"Im sorry" i say and a tear falls down my cheek. "Its know. Its oke" he says and wipes away the tear so softly like my skin is made of porcelain. "I really am" i say again now starting to cry even more.

"Cant you stay" he asks me. He probably knows. He knows what i am going to do. It makes this all even worse.

"I cant" i say tears flowing down turning into waterfalls. His eyes start to water too and a small smile falls on his lips.

"Oh... oke" he says and he wipes away more of my tears and kisses my lips. "Im sorry" i say agaisnt his lips when we stop.

I get up and walk out of the bedroom. Not looking back this time.

I still remeber the way i sneaked into this same apartment when i first met him. It was one of the things that took my mind of everything. I felt like a kid again : playing hide and seek.

I get a paper from a table and put the pen he has into my hands. My brain is getting all foggy and i could barley think straight. I want to tell him that im gone. I want to tell him for his and for my sake.

Hey aspen,

First of all i want to apologize. Not only for almost ruining your career by being a huge asshole to you. But for a lot of things. For everything really.

I am sorry for the promisses i couldnt keep to you as a kid and i wish we couldve had the house together were we dreamed off.

I am sorry for kissing you when i was planning to leave you. I wish i had more time to really get to know you. But our time is up.

I want you to know that its not your fault. It never was. When i got dragged away all i could think was that im happy it was me and not you.

I really hope you can forgive me for leaving you like this and not saying much about it. I know you will undestand me. Atleast i hope you do.

I really really like you. I never said it in your face because i was scared. Scared that you would reject me. But the way your eyes look at me always made me want to tell you everything. And take you on this trip. But i know i shouldnt. Sorry.

But if you ever want to find me. Find me in your heart.

Goodbye aspen.

- ash collin hard.

I close the door behind me and let my body rest agaisnt the wall falling down too the floor.

A tear falls down my cheek and i wipe it away. Today is not the day to be slow. He can find me if i dont act fast. After all he was made for this job. He was trained to track and kill someone.

He is a beautiful lethal weapon.

I walked as far as i could and used some pocket money to pay a cab to take me as far away as he possibly could.

Turns out thats not too far. But it doesnt matter. I took busses going away as far as i can and i took a train at one point.

Everywhere i went felt like a haze. Knew where i was going though. I had it all planned out years prior. Before aspen became a distraction.

I wanted to be gone. To disapear from his life so he doesnt need to suffer. He shouldnt suffer because of me.

I travel for days and i knew i reached my point when i was back in amsterdam.

To go back to the original plan. To kill the people who did this all to me. Who gave me so many scars on my skin.

The people whos life i want to rip out and have their hearts stop beating. After all my last name is heart.

I was going to take revange.