Case 420 /finished BxB/

27. ash

Ash pov :

I had to go. I had to leave him. This wasnt what i came for. This wasnt the plan that i had sorted out for me. This wasnt the things i had to do.

I had to leave. Right now. While i lay in his arms and had just woken up by the sunlight slipping through the curtains.

I had to leave him. I had to stick to my plan. My plan for revenge. He wasnt in this plan. He wasnt made for this plan.

He wasnt in the fine details i had written inside my head so this wont fail. I had to do this all on my own.

Not aspen not nobody can help me. Nobody should help me. Especially not the one that i was supposed to be agaisnt. He was supposed to partake nothing in this plan.

The people whos touch i still feel on my skin are suppoded to pay. To pay for the sins they had put onto me.

The hands on my body and the hits i had taken. They were supposed to pay for this. Not aspen who just feels sorry for me.

He feels sorry for me. He isnt in love with me like he thinks he is. Its all a mistake that his brain had gaslight him into believing its true.

I had a plan to leave him in asmterdam. To go back to the place i was supposed to be dropped of at. My aunts house. A save place where i couldve lived a normal life.

Where i wouldnt have to feel all this. Where i was supposed to be a good kid and behave like one and have family nights and have them help me grief.

I was not supposed to be send to the house. The house that i wish i could forget. I wish i could leave it all behind me. To let the memories parish away. To have them wash away with the tide of the ocean.

It wasnt possible. I knew that in the core of my heart. I was broken beyond repair. I was fucked up in the head like many people have said to me.

Everyone knew it. I was twisted and have a tendency to do the opposite of what i was supposed to do.

When the gang took me in they didnt know that. I protected the image i had created for them. Trustworthy and loyal like a dog.

They found me on the side of the road. Beaten up and broken to the core. They thought i wasnt capable of anything.

They didnt know my past. They just thought i was discarded trash from my mother. I told them that so they thought i was nothing. I was inoccent and had a abusive mother.

It was all a lie. I was ran through and had rebelled agaisnt the people that took me away. That made my life miserable.

I was glad i was out of the place even though i was bleeding out. Even though it was so hard to breath because of the rib sticking in my lung.

My clothes were torn and my eyes were black and blue, but so were the other parts too. I was black and blue all over. Cuts and slashes of red all over me. Coloring me in like a painting.

The gang felt sorry for me. I looked like a waste and they trive on it. They breed the loyal dogs by giving them something they never had. Friends - or what they called a family.

We were one big family but still i was left out. I was abused even inside the gang. Nobody bat an eye. They all knew i was used to it anyways.

I worked my way up. I trained for years giving everything i had. I had given my whole life to the gang.

They finally recognized me when i was send on my first big mission. I was sent there with 15 people. Our only job was to take out the smaller gang that was to close by us.

Even with the man we had we were outnumbered. But it didnt matter to us.

We killed them all one by one. I was the only one who survived. The blood covered me of everyone who i had killed and who was killed.

I was the only person to survive. They praised me and viewed me as a god. I felt like a god. I had become a god in their eyes.

After a few short years i was the one person to be trusted the most. The one person thay knew everything inside and the outside.

I was in charge of everyone. I knew who had potential to become something and i knew who we should discard of.

I removed all the guys i knew had a plan to go agaisnt us i was perfect at it. Maybe because i was also one that planned to get away.

The boss was impressed by my skills and had send me off. Italy was the destination. 30 million dollars in a simple car.

Nobody knew i was leaving or that i was gone. The boss told everyone i was sick. I rushed off too italy to deliver the money to a gang we were friends with.

With 30 million we got a lot of weapons and drugs. A lot of it. We wanted to branch out in italy so it was a perfect start there.

The drugs were just to trade off to others. To make a name of ourself. To get some extra money for useless stuff. We had our other money streams that payed off well.

I never got the weapons or the drugs. I just left. I went far far away until the car broke down. I wasnt even sure where i was at that point.

Everything was unfamiliar but i didnt care. I put the money i had in the account i had secretly opend. I put it all in and left some cash just in case.

I ran more and more. I reached a small Austria and worked on a small farm run by a family.

I kept my life low and changed my name. I wasnt recognized by ash collin hard. I was someone else. Seth.

I liked the name and i soon began to awnser by it. My own name had disapeared from my mind and it was like a other person.

Ash wasnt someone that i recognized back then. I wasnt him anymore. I was someone else.

I had taken the life of seth now. I was a friendly guy. I was quiet but i would talk a lot when i had a few beers and the campfire was lit up.

I always said yes and life was simple. It wasnt something hard and i didnt have to be 5 steps ahead. Still I was 5 steps ahead all the time even when i was there.

Everything i did was calculated but it was easier. The burning 30 million was weighing heavy in my mind burning its permanent place in it.

The owner of the farm was a friendly family guy. I had big plans for his daughter and one of them was to marry me.

I declined times after time but the daughter liked me. It was obvious and she had flirted a lot with me in the past.

She was pretty and always wore amazing flowy dress. Her hair was lose with long wavy brown curls. She had mesmerized every guy who came by us.

I wanted to know her more then i already did but i didnt want to hurt her. I was a asshole and a twisted fuck in my head so i shouldnt.

Days passed by and weeks came that turned into months. In a blink of a eye i has spend 3 years there.

I had taken the identity and i felt like i was really seth. I wasnt ash and i didnt want to be him anymore.

He was long gone even though the money was still mine. I walked up the mountain and had chosen a spot to look out of the whole village.

I made a cross like it was a grave and had written the name "ash" with stones on the ground. I out a flower in it and burried a dollar bill i had in my pocket at that time.

It was time to say goodbye to the man i was. To the man i was born to be. I was someone else now and i fully expected it.

The nightmares were the only things to remind me of who i was and the wispers of the ghost following me calling me ash.

Nobody knew why i liked campfires so much but maybe it was the aftermath of it. The ash that was caused by the burning wood.