𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘦 | 𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘹.

| 32 |

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Cool About It by boygenius

☀︎

"What do we do?" Jisung whisper yells, looking to the two other boys.

They stand outside of Felix's bedroom door. They have been for the past few minutes, actually. They don't know if they should go inside or stay outside, or go home or go back downstairs. They don't know. At all.

"We obviously should check on him!" Jeongin whispers back. He looks over to Seungmin. "Right? I mean, it's the best thing to do. We need to go in there and make him feel better."

"I don't even feel good about this." Seungmin says back. "I knew this would blow up in his face, or somebody would.."

"Okay, but that—"

His bedroom door suddenly opens. All three of the boys stand up straight, snapping their heads to the door. Felix stares back at them. His eyes are red and puffy, and his hair is a mess.

"Oh." Seungmin frowns at the state of the boy.

Felix starts crying again, and Jeongin immediately walks over to hug him. The other boys follow and join, forming a big support hug. Felix cries into Jeongin's shoulder, holding Jisung's hand.

"What am I supposed to do?" He cries, his words muffled. He pulls away.

"Let's sit down." Jisung says, taking the boys hands and leading him back inside the room. He sits him down on the bed.

"You might not want to sit there." Felix wipes his tears, sniffling. He looks at Jisung, causing the boy to gulp and move to the other side of the bed.

Seungmin disregards the door, leaving it open, before turning back to the group of boys. "Why?"

Felix doesn't answer. He sniffles again, trying to stop himself from crying. "It was all going so perfect." He says. He looks down to his lap. "Now I will never be able to see him again and everything is over. My life is over."

Jeongin watches as the boy flops down on the bed, starting to cry again. He sits in the hanging chair Felix has, arms crossed. "I don't think that's true." He says softly.

"Yeah." Seungmin says, walking over to sit down on the bed as well. He puts a hand in Felix's hair, brushing it back. "I think you guys will get through this, and be stronger because of it."

Felix sighs. Seungmin's actions are calming him down, like always. He take a deep breath, before he continues.

"I don't know." He says. "I don't think Chan will let us get away with this."

"It not like you guys did anything wrong." Jisung chimes in. "Falling in love isn't a crime."

Felix groans. "But we're not inlo—" he stops, shaking his head. "I don't know! Guys, this is bad. We did do something wrong."

"Wait—" Jeongin doesn't let Felix's words slip by that easy. "Wait, wait, wait." He slowly stands up, looking down at Felix. He looks at him, in shock. The blonde bites his lip.

"Did you just.....Felix?" Seungmin looks to him.

"Guys." Felix starts.

"You love him?" Jisung asks, whispering.

Felix rubs his lips together, before he slowly nods. "I think I like him more that I should. And I think I've liked him this way for a really long time." He says, hoping his friends understand.

"Oh my god." Jeongin says, in shock.

"Oh, this makes this whole thing different." Seungmin says, putting a hand to his mouth. "Did you tell him? Did he tell you? Are you guys in this together?"

"I think we both know." Felix sits up, looking around at everybody. "And I also think that it has been this way for a while."

"What makes you think that?" Jisung tilts his head.

"He remembers everything about me." Felix starts, a smile finding a way to his face. "And, the way he looks at me. That gives it away. The way his eyes always find mine.. and the way they crinkle while smiling at me— confirming it's real."

He looks down to his lap, fiddling with his sweat pant's drawstrings. "And last night, the way he held my hand. The way he walked on the outer part of the sidewalk, the way he didn't want to touch me disrespectfully, the way he asked if I was okay with everything."

"Wow." Jeongin says, a smile spread on his own face. It's one thing to find out your best friend is in love, but to find out how somebody loves your best friend— it warms your heart.

"And even this morning." Felix looks up to his friends. "It was like heaven. He was gentle, we wasn't afraid, and he even called me his."

"He did?" Seungmin smiles, wanting to cry.

Felix nods. "He did, and I love it. I love—" he pauses.

"It's okay," A voice sounds from the door, making four boys look over. Chan leans against the doorframe, smiling. "You can say it." He says, softly.

"Chan—" Felix starts.

"You can say it, if that's how you really feel." Chan says, starting to walk into the room. He looks down at his brother. "But I have to ask... is that really how you feel about him?"

Felix takes a deep breath. He doesn't even think twice before he nods his head, because there isn't anything to think twice about. "It is." He says. "I love him, Chan. I love him."

Chan just smiles, holding back tears. He isn't an emotional guy but this whole thing is really getting to him. The way Felix looks and sounds so comfortable with that, makes him want to cry from happiness.

All he has ever wanted was for his brother to be happy. He doesn't care with who, he just wants him to be happy. And more so, safe. And if Hyunjin makes him happy, and is safe, then so be it. He doesn't care.

Chan nods. "Okay." He says. "Then I don't want to hold you back. I don't want to be the reason you can't be with him, so please don't hold back because of me."

"Really?" Felix asks, his voice cracking. His eyes are teary as he stands up, looking at his brother. "You mean that?"

"With every bone in my body." Chan says.

Felix cries, hugging his brother. The rest of the juniors watch the moment with tears in their eyes. After everything Felix has suffered through with these feelings, he can finally get the happy ending he deserves.

It took him almost ten years, but he made it.

—

oh yuck