Chapter 6 (trapped in my own mind)

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>Amber's POV<

I was pretty wiped out from yesterday. I snuck out of bed while Tara was still asleep and went to brush my teeth and wash my face.

I wasn't just wiped from yesterday, though. I think I was just mentally wiped more so.

I put my hair in a low messy bun and threw on some black leggings and a black tank top before leaving the room.

"Hi, scooby." I whispered.

He was laying in the hallway on the air vent comfortably.

"Do you wanna go outside?" I asked him.

He jumped up at the word 'outside' and ran to the back door.

I opened it and let him run out into the backyard. I closed the door behind us and stood on the back porch, watching him run around.

Life was perfect as I knew it lately, yet somehow I couldn't get out of my head. Maybe that's something to bring up to my therapist.

I was on my 2nd cigarette and millionth intruding thought when I heard the back door creek open.

Out stepped some pink bunny slippers on a 5ft girl with her wavy hair down and a sleepy look in her eyes.

"Go back to bed, baby." I said, putting out my cig.

"You snuck away from me." She said, holding onto the door.

"I'm coming back, I just needed to let scooby go out." I explained.

I let scooby back in, and we went up to the room to lay back in bed.

"You ok?" Tara looked over at me with sleepy eyes.

"Yeah...why?" I asked.

"Because I know when you're not." She said.

I looked at the foot of the bed where scooby was laying asleep.

"If there's something you wanna talk about-"

"It's fine." I said.

"This is a relationship." Tara said, sitting up.

I looked at her with a dead, exhausted look.

"I know you're stubborn, and you don't tell anybody anything. You make yourself believe you have to go through everything alone." She said, holding my hand.

"Tara-"

"But as long as we're together, we go through nothing alone. I tell you. You tell me." She said, looking me in my eyes.

"You want the truth?" I said.

"Yes." She replied.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. There are moments when I happy, and then there are moments where I'm scared to walk to the bathroom alone at night for fear of a knife going into my back." I said as tears slowly arrived.

I turned my head back to Tara,who was already teared up.

She held my face and kissed me all over it.

"I know, me too. I know I said we should be able to look past this, but I didn't mean SOON. Don't feel like you have to ignore that it happened." She explained.

"I know, I know." I said, hugging her.

"What can I do?" She asked me whilst kissing my head.

"Be here. Be you. I will get better. Just traumatized. We'll make it through this." I said.

"Maybe you need more therapy sessions than you're having." Tara suggested.

"I'll see about that." I said.

"You promise?" She said.

"I promise." I responded.

We laid there a moment quietly.

"You are perfect, you know that?" I said to her.

"Don't gas me." She blushed.

"I'm serious. I don't think there's another girl in this world that could love me like this." I said.

"Then you better keep me." She danced.

I laughed, "I will."

"I better keep you too. I need my bodyguard." She joked.

"For sure, miss tiny." I poked her nose.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"We don't have to go anywhere today. Just enjoy home." She told me.

"Maybe I need that today."

She grabbed the remote and played some cartoons, and we watched until we fell back asleep.

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