Survivers [TAMBER]

Chapter 9 (nightmare)

>Tara's POV<

I was dreaming. It was a nice dream. I was a kid again and completely stress free... ignorant even of the horrors the world contained.

I was running around the playground playing tag with a girl slightly taller with gorgeous dark curls, rosey cheeks, and a perfect smile to top it all off.

Amber. Amber had always been pretty to me. I remember once saying...

>dream sequence<

"I wish I was as pretty as you."

"My mama says every little girl is pretty, and that means you. You should know you are very, very pretty, Tara. " A little Amber responded.

She handed me a piece of candy, and we shared chocolates sitting on the swings next to each other.

You'd say this is the perfect dream. To be a child again. To be pure with the trauma experienced completely erased.

In the beginning, it was. I looked forward to the slides on the playground; they were blue.

It began drizzling outside. A drop hit my face, and I wiped it with my pointer finger, but it wasn't water...

It was blood.

I looked up to see the slides that were once blue covered in blood and the shadow of a tall figure standing under the playground with a familiar mask.

My chest grew tight. I turned to my teacher, who held my asthma pump, but she lay on the ground, bleeding out.

I turned around, and the figure was standing in front of me.

I screamed and then everything went black.

>end of dream sequence<

I sat up in my bed, breathing heavy as I leaned over and grabbed my inhaler from my nightstand.

I must've made a lot of noise because I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey." Amber said softly.

I jumped at the contact before exhaling a breath of relief.

"Are you ok? Was it an asthma attack?" She sat up concerned.

"Something like that." I said, catching my breath.

She leaned over to her nightstand and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Here, drink up." She instructed.

After some sips, I took a break and got my breathing back to normal.

"What happened?" She asked.

"N-nothing, let's just um. I'm gonna go wash my face." I said, getting out of bed.

I went into the bathroom and wet a towel with some cold water and put it on my face.

"Tara." Amber said softly from the doorway.

"Yes?" I said, sniffing.

"What happened to telling each other everything?"

"It was just a stupid dream." I replied, slurring my words a bit.

"Tara, you couldn't breathe." Amber said.

"I'm fine now, just a nightmare." I explained.

She walked up to me and hugged me before leading me back to the bed as we lay in our spots.

"It was a good dream at first." I said.

"Sometimes it starts out that way." She said.

"You remember when you would come to my house and sometimes we'd be up at 4am or 3am for no reason?" I laughed.

"Yeah, but we have some memorable times for various reasons." She smiled back at me.

"Yeah, we did, didn't we?"

"Things might seem all bad, and sometimes even in your sleep, you can't escape it, but it won't last forever. One day, maybe our minds will be free from it." Amber said.

"You think Sidney would talk to me?" I said.

"Yeah, I think she would. Maybe I'll talk to her too."

"Maybe that's a good idea." I said back softly.

"You wanna watch a cartoon?"

"Tom and Jerry." I replied.

She smiled and turned the little animation on.

I didn't go back to sleep that night.
I figured I'd find a time to nap in the day if I got too tired.

The thing about moving on is... everything else can only see your outside reaction. Nobody really knows what's going on in your head.

They assume that because you don't cry through every day that you're ok, but the truth is... you're trying to survive and be strong for the ones around you.

And yes, I'm doing fine. Adjusting. Because I fought for my life. If I spend every day moping around, that fight was in vain.

I guess that alone keeps me going.
I will be happy. Because I said so.