what if? // sebastian sallow

In the Shadow of Desire

Suggested soundtrack: Do I Wanna Know (Slowed Version) - Arctic Monkeys

The next evening after Astronomy class, I pull Amit aside. "There's a party tonight in my common room...would you be interested in coming? I know I've been distracted for a few weeks and we haven't been able to spend much time together. I think this is the perfect relief that we need."

Amit furrows his brows together, considering my invitation. "I do have an exam coming up next week to study for...but, I suppose it can wait. I do think I am quite ahead on the curriculum for that exam."

I laugh. "I know you'll be more than fine, Amit. Come with me, please?"

"Okay, if you say so, Jasmine. Even though a party is not really my...cup of tea, I'll do it for you," he obliges, laughing. I loop my arm through his as we head to the party.

***

When we enter the common room, there's already a decent amount of students milling around. I see fire whiskey bottles haphazardly sprawled around the common room tables, everyone with cups in hand.

Imelda yells to me across the room. "Jasmine! Amit! Over here!" I see her across the room, waving to us along with Garreth and Ominis.

As I approach her, I can already tell that the buzz of the fire whiskey is already getting to Imelda. Her laughter is infectious, her eyes warm and bright. She grabs an open bottle from the table next to her and pours generous helpings into two fresh cups, handing them over to me and Amit. "Drink up, no arguments. Let's all take a shot."

Amit and I smile at each other, and all of us raise our cups to cheers before knocking them back. Garreth takes the shot like a champ. "Wow, this goes down smoother than most of my potions," he says laughing.

"I wouldn't exactly brag about that if I were you, Garreth," Imelda says, rolling her eyes.

"I'm surprised you still trust yourself enough to try your own potions," Ominis comments. "Anyways, I've had a shot, can I leave now? I feel like this party has gone on far too long already."

"No!" Imelda and I yell at the same time, and burst out laughing.

Ominis grumbles and rolls his eyes while holding back a smile. I've always been of the opinion that Ominis merely pretends to be an introvert, but secretly enjoys us forcing his presence at our social events. I do notice that Poppy isn't here, but refrain from asking about her, as I sense it may be a sensitive subject.

"I'm with Ominis on this one. Clearly, this time could be better spent studying," Amit chimes in.

"See? I'm not the only one with this sentiment here," Ominis says, nodding, feeling validated.

"I think they need another shot to shut them up," Garreth teases.

Suddenly, all the conversation fades into the background when I see Sebastian across the room, leaning against the wall near the fireplace. He's in his usual white button-down with the sleeves rolled up, plain green tie loose around his neck, tight grey slacks, short brown boots. He looks relaxed, holding a cup in his hand, presumably of fire whiskey.

The bitter emotions that ran so high last night are nowhere to be seen on his face. His eyes are warm, freckles clearly visible on his skin in the firelight. He's talking to Natty, and I'm hyper aware of how close they're standing to each other, how she looks into his eyes as he speaks. I try to will myself to look away, but find my attention glued to the scene.

Even while Natty is speaking, I see Sebastian subtly scanning the crowd. It makes me wonder who he's looking for. When he finally catches my eye, I see a sense of relief wash over his face and he smiles warmly at me from a distance, so much so that Natty turns to see who he's looking at. My heart races as they wave and start to walk over to our group.