what if? // sebastian sallow

In the Shadow of His Vow

The next evening, it's finally time for me to visit Anne in Feldcroft with Sebastian. I am a bundle of nerves, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. I know Anne won't be happy if I suggest trying to cure her, but my desire to help her overpowers my fear of her being angry with me.

Before we Floo travel to Feldcroft, I pause for a moment, catching Sebastian's eye. "Sebastian...I think it's worth trying to convince Anne to let me cure her. We have nothing left to lose."

He sighs heavily, a deep sadness in his expression. "I do agree with you, Jazz. But I don't know the best way to go about it without upsetting her further. She's become really closed off to my ideas since fifth year."

I take his hand in mine. "Let me take the lead. I'll be the one to ask her."

He squeezes my hand, a sparkle of hope in his eyes. "I'll trust you on this. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know."

"You know I would do anything for you or the people you love. All we can hope now is that she lets us help her."

***

Sebastian hesitates at the door when we arrive at their Feldcroft house, so I take the lead and knock loudly on the door.

The door swings open again with Anne in her wheelchair, but to my relief, her expression is much softer today than the last time we came here.

"Please come in," she says gently, ushering us in through the door.

Once inside, we take a seat at their dining table, Anne pulling up her wheelchair right next to us.

"Thank you for inviting us here. I've wanted nothing more than to see you over the last few days," Sebastian says, a wistful expression in his eyes.

"Thank you both for coming. And I'm sorry for the way I reacted last time. I'd like to apologize to both of you. I've been reflecting on it, and...Jasmine, I don't blame you for what you did. Admittedly, I put you and Ominis in a tough spot."

"It's all forgiven, Anne. I'm just glad we can be here with you right now," I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking with anxiety.

"Sebastian, before I leave Feldcroft, I wanted to see you and make things right between us. I've legally put this house in your name. You can feel free to do with it what you will, I have all the paperwork here. And I've gathered some things here from our parents and from myself that you might like to have," she says, motioning to some boxes gathered in the corner of the room.

At her words, Sebastian looks as if he's been stabbed through the heart, the pain is so evident in his eyes. "Why did you do all of that, Anne?" he asks softly.

She looks at him, the room growing intensely quiet. "I want you to be taken care of when I'm gone, Sebastian. Despite everything that's happened between us, you're still my brother and I love you more than anyone else in the world. I want you to lead a long, healthy, happy life, and I will do everything in my power to make sure I can get you as close to that as I can before I'm gone."

A tear spills from Sebastian's eye. "For the love of God, please stop talking as if you're already dead!" he yells, suddenly slamming his hand against the table and startling both of us.

The surprise leaves Anne's face quickly, and she settles back into a solemn expression. "I'm just being rational, Sebastian. At least one of us has to be."

Sebastian buries his face in his hands with no further comment. My heart hurts and I reach out and rub his back gently in a desperate attempt to comfort him.

"Anne...there's something I want to ask you," I say, realizing this may be my only opportunity to speak with her before things derail further.

"What is it?" she asks, sighing, a deep exhaustion in her words. The way she looks at me is completely devoid of hope; she's already given up and resigned herself to her fate.

"If you'll allow it...there's one last thing I want to try, Anne. I'm able to see traces of ancient magic. Starting in my fifth year, I've spent years understanding and harnessing this power. I think I may be able to pull the pain of the curse out of you. But I won't know unless I try, because this is an unexplored form of magic that is little known and that not many people understand."

My words are followed by a long silence. Sebastian cautiously looks up at Anne, and we both watch her as she looks back at us, her expression completely unreadable.

The tension thickens the air, and I brace myself for her reaction.

"I can't believe you are both doing this to me again," she finally says quietly, her eyes dropping to the floor.

Suddenly, I'm overcome with an immense guilt that I even suggested it. Maybe we are prolonging Anne's pain and fear, prolonging her grieving process for Solomon. We're hurting her, not letting her move on, not letting her pass on. Filling her last moments with pain and false hope in the selfish hope of being able to keep her.

But Sebastian speaks up in my silence. "Anne...please. Let this be my last request. And if this doesn't work – you have my word, that I will never contact you again if you don't want me to."

"I don't believe that for a moment, Sebastian. You knew I'd requested that you don't come here, and that did not stop you from showing up. You don't understand how much it hurts me to see you nowadays."

"I'll make an Unbreakable Vow never to contact you again, if that's what you need from me," Sebastian says quietly, and my heart stills.

Anne looks shocked, and the room is heavy with silence for a moment.

"You really do mean it this time, don't you?" Anne whispers.

"Yes...my only request to you is to let Jazz try using her ancient magic. And I'll vow never to contact you again unless you reach out first. I mean it, Anne. I have nothing left to lose. You have nothing left to lose either, and you know it."

Anne pauses for a moment, reflecting. "An Unbreakable Vow won't be necessary. The fact that you were willing to do it is enough for me. Fine. Jasmine, try whatever you want to try, then afterwards, I'd like to request both of you to leave. Unless something miraculous happens, consider this our last time ever speaking. I simply don't have the emotional capacity to continue with this charade of cures anymore," Anne says flatly.

My heart drops at Anne's resignation, but I can't help but feel a small sliver of hope. I draw my wand slowly, and Anne looks at it disdainfully.

"Anne, thank you, for giving me a chance, even though I know this is the last thing you want right now," I say gratefully.

I stand up and walk over to her wheelchair. Sebastian watches eagerly from his seat, the unrestrained hope sparkling in his eyes.

I focus deeply on Anne, trying to sense the emotions of Rookwood initially inflicting the dark curse on her, to sense his intent. His phrase echoes through my mind –  "Children should be seen and not heard."

I slowly make out a swirl of magic hovering around Anne, the dark tendrils of the magic seemingly deeply embedded into her heart. I can sense it draining the energy and life out of her with every heartbeat.

I take a deep breath and place the tip of my wand to her heart, bracing myself.