what if? // sebastian sallow

In the Shadow of Late Night Confessions

Suggested soundtrack: Poison Ivy (Slowed Version) - Hemi Moore

I'm on an emotional high the next day, my thoughts lingering on Anne in the hope that she is doing better. I am not sure when Sebastian and I will next hear from her, but for now, I'm happy enough with the hope that she's on her way to recovery and a healthy life. The sparkle in her eyes last night was something that I thought I'd never see in her. For as long as I'd known her, Anne was always a realist, and very slow to get her hopes up about anything. She's had a jaded outlook on life, so it had been a beautiful thing to see a childlike joy back in her expression last night.

When I leave Astronomy, my last class of the day, with Amit that evening, I'm surprised to see Sebastian waiting in the hallway for me. He waves at me, a half smile on his face.

"I'll talk to you later, Jasmine," Amit says, his voice low, slipping away as soon as he sees Sebastian. I notice him and Sebastian briefly exchange an undecipherable look.

My heart drops for Amit a little bit, but I still can't help that my pulse immediately starts to speed up as I approach Sebastian.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, smiling.

"Just missed you and was hoping to talk to you. Think we can find somewhere to talk?" he asks, his amber eyes warm on mine.

I think for a moment, then take his hand and lead him to the Room of Requirement.

***

"Damn, Jazz, I love what you've done with this room," Sebastian appreciates when we make it there.

"You're the first one I've ever brought here. I keep it private because I usually only come here when I want to be alone," I admit, and he smiles.

I've chosen to set the ambience to mimic a dreamy, moonlit night with floating candles. Homely, large couches adorn the room, emanating a sense of warmth and comfort. All of the tables in the room are candlelit, lending the room a calming vibe.

I never thought of the room as romantic before, but something about having Sebastian at my side suddenly makes it feel that way.

We sink into one of the couches together, tossing our bags aside, a candlelit table in front of us.

"So, what's the deal with Amit?" Sebastian asks suddenly, his eyes locking onto mine with an unexpected intensity.

"What do you mean?" I ask, taken aback.

"You mentioned it the other night, the day after the party; you'd said Imelda told you Amit might have feelings for you. But we didn't get a chance to talk about it because we...got carried away." He smirks, a knowing look in his eyes, remembering the night. 

I can feel my cheeks flush. "Oh. Well, I actually did end up talking to Amit directly about that," I say, hesitant to go into detail.

"And? What did he say?" Sebastian presses, his molten honey eyes not breaking contact with mine.

I stand up from the couch and start pacing the common room while talking.  "He admitted he does have feelings for me. But he was very understanding of the fact that I think we should just be friends. We just decided to continue being friends," I say.

"And that's the extent of the relationship you want with him?" Sebastian asks, watching me from the couch as I pace the room.

"Yes, that's for sure. I don't want to lose my friendship with him, but I know it's not going to be any more than that."

"Amit is such a sweet guy, though...I could see him being a good match for you," Sebastian says, and I stop short in my tracks to turn my attention to him.

He has a mischievous sparkle in his eye, and I get the feeling that he's testing the waters.

"Oh yeah? You're absolutely right – he is very sweet. Do you think I should consider being more than friends with him then?" I ask, a boldness creeping into my voice, daring him to speak his mind.

Sebastian stands up from the couch and approaches me, his eyes twinkling. I take a few steps back, and suddenly he's very close to me, my back almost against the wall.

He comes to a stop and steps back to take a deep look into my eyes.

"I think you already know what my answer to that would be, Jazz." He cups my face in his hands, bending down slightly to my level. "I hope you know what you mean to me." 

His chocolate eyes irresistibly sparkle back at me, and I slowly lean forward, gently touching my lips to his.

Sebastian responds ravenously as if he was waiting for it, rapidly shifting forward so I'm pinned against the wall. He lifts me up slightly, and I wrap my legs around him, my fingers getting lost in his messy hair. He kisses me hard, unrestrained, lips melting in a fire of desire, staking his claim. He wraps one of his arms around my waist, holding me up against the wall, and his other hand is in my hair, fingers tangling in my waves to pull me in closer to him, ever closer.

He pauses for a moment, smiling against my lips. "You're mine now...you know that, right?" he whispers under his breath, and my pulse spikes.

I loop my fingers around his tie and pull him closer, pressing my lips into his again, too stubborn to verbally answer, but perhaps the question answers itself in the heat of a kiss that I'd share with no one else.

He wraps both his arms securely around my waist, and carries me over to the couch, taking a seat with me on his lap, never breaking away from my lips. His hands are everywhere, and I can feel the scalding heat of his touch, even through layers of fabric.

I break away for a moment, my fingertips tracing dreamy tracks across the freckles on his cheekbones, imagining constellations etched onto his skin. "Sebastian, what are we?"

He smiles. "What do you want us to be?" he asks, trailing hungry kisses down my jawline.

I arch my head back, goosebumps crawling all over my skin. "No. Stop beating around the bush. I need to hear you say it. What are we? Because I've spent years waiting for you – waiting for your answer."

"You're mine. You can be sure of that," he says, pulling back, his eyes dark with desire.

"And what about you? Are you mine?" I ask, leaning forward to plant a series of soft kisses on his warm neck.

He lets my lips linger on his skin for a while, then interrupts me by tilting my chin back, looking directly into my eyes. He strokes my cheek gently with his thumb. "I've belonged to you the whole time, Jazz. Even when we weren't speaking. I haven't had a romantic thought about a single other person ever since I met you in fifth year."

My heart skips a beat and the truth falls from my lips. "I haven't either. It didn't matter who I got close to, or how I tried to distract myself – I simply couldn't see anyone else in that way," I admit, and Sebastian shifts suddenly to push me down onto the couch, leaning over me, his forearms on either side of my head.

"It's settled then. You're my girlfriend from now on, and I want everyone to know it," he says, peppering kisses onto my collarbone.

"It's settled," I agree, sinking into his embrace, finding his lips with mine again.

The night passes in a soft blur of slow kisses and conversation by the candlelight, nothing more, nothing less. I feel my heart finally starting to sink into the comfort and familiarity of Sebastian's presence in my life, and feel a sense of relief that I can finally call him mine now.