Lustful Invitation | ENHYPEN

XXVIIII

Keeping everything secret is much harder than I thought, and I hate it.

My first day back at school and I'm almost wishing I never went. Home room has never felt more terrifying, seeing Heeseung and Jungwon was like a punch in the gut. And my school uniform felt more like a cage rather than items of clothing.

One of them knows that I know the truth, but the he other one doesn't and I'm not allowed to tell him. And I'm just supposed to act like nothing is wrong, that hardly seems fair.

I tried my best to keep it relaxed with them, but I just felt Heeseung drilling holes into my eyes every time that I spoke. It felt like he was watching my every move, my every breath, it was suffocating.

"Remember what we agreed." Heeseung's voice echoes in my mind, before I even stepped into the classroom those were his words to me. It was a threat, one I didn't intent to test.

Heeseung and Jungwon were both so tense throughout our conversation, and it had nothing to do with me. Everyone in the school is acting the same way, like they're all walking on egg shells. Being extra attentive and cautious around every corner.

The slightest of sound and movement quickly draws the attention of the school. Even the headmistress who rarely shows herself is present, observing every inch of the school. I've rarely seen her show emotion. But right now I can read her like an open book.

Conflicted and apprehensive.

They know about the war. That is the only logical explanation for why everyone is acting this way. And it's valid. I don't even know how I would act if I was in their position, if I was like them. I may be involved in K's eyes, but I don't have the same level of fear as them. I'm not a vampire. The stakes aren't the same.

I barely get the chance to ponder on the war, whilst walking to my next class through a somewhat empty hallway - minus a few others scattered around - the sound of heavy footsteps come to my attention.

"Jiyeon you're back!" Niki emerges from nowhere, running up to me like his life depends on it.

He tries to grab me into a hug but ends up tripping in the process and we both go tumbling to the floor. Luckily not many people are in the hallway so it's not extremely embarrassing.

"Suspension wasn't going to kill me." We both laugh together as he jokingly shoves me on the floor. We stay there for a few more moments before finally rising up. It's feels nice to have some sense of comfortability again.

Even if I can't fully express it with my friends.

"It's been wild since you've been gone. Especially the last few days." The end of his sentence fades out, his playful nature replaced with one in a sorrow that's trying to hide itself.

I know he's talking about the war. I'm not really supposed to know, and it sucks. I can't even comfort my own friend in his time of need. It must be a nerve racking feeling, being forced to fight and not know to reason or if you'll even come back alive.

"Anyways, are you okay?" His smile is weak, but he's trying his best.

It's hard to be positive in a situation like that, and it makes sense that he's trying to deflect from the situation. Because once again, I am not supposed to know. For that reason alone I choose not to press him any further and continue our conversation.

"Perfectly fine." Except from the fact that I'm completely lying to your face.

I want to tell him the truth, I want to tell all of them the truth. The guilt I'm carrying only gets heavier the longer I keep it in. But I can't do it. I said I would keep what I know a secret, it's what's best for everyone involved apparently. I'm going to trust Heeseung's judgement. If he believes that this is the right decision, I can only hope that trusting him will bring out a positive outcome.