Our Future Together | Death Note

Chapter 3

Light's POV

That day, I couldn't stop crying and screaming as I really was hurting from losing the baby. The one thing that I knew was destined to make me super happy and so much more in peace. Now, he or she is dead and I can't even process this loss. I've dealt with a lot of sad and depressing moments of my life, but this takes the cake and I still can't believe it. My stomach is in so much pain, I couldn't even feel it, other than the cramping sensation to it and it is super bad. I continued moaning a lot and couldn't stop. It was then Watari showed up and looked at me in disgust, shaking his head in disappointment and anger.

"Lawliet, I thought I told you Light shouldn't be here anymore." He said to L and I hated to hear these two fighting, knowing it's truly my fault for it all. I was the one who made them argue and it's my fault as well for just disappointing Watari in general. He's like the grandfather I've never had, I guess if it makes any sense? I don't even know anymore.

"If you kick Light out, I'm leaving too and you'll be sorry." L argued and I went to our room, crying some more. Ryuk was there, telling me how it will all be over soon and I shook my head no. I can't talk to him or anyone about this, knowing how heartbroken and sad I really am. Plus, me being in pain makes everything worse. I found a pair of my black sweatpants I wore from the day I passed out. I definitely bled, as I noticed a bit of a blood stain right now and I cried some more, refusing to wear these pants now.

"Light, do you want to join me for a walk? How about you in the Shinigami realm again? Everyone is asking for you. Even Darki." Ryuk asked me, offering a walk and the Shinigami realm. I shook my head no, sobbing. I placed my left hand on my belly, crying harder.

"I get that you lost your biggest source of happiness, but you can't let this affect you permanently. It's going to be alright." Ryuk said and I refused to speak or believe him, continuing to sob my eyes out. I just wanted everything to be good again, now it's all heartbreaking and soul crushing. I just knew this was the worst feeling I've ever had. Worse than my depressive episodes.

"Light, would you like me to leave? I can do so if you want." Ryuk asked me and I nodded. He seemed to understand and walked away, then flew back to the Shinigami realm. That same day, L was in his side of the bed and hugged me, kissing my forehead. I looked at him, not saying much and he held my hand.

"Light, I've been thinking. If Watari truly doesn't want you with us anymore, I'm going to get a new apartment to live in and it'll be a lot closer to headquarters. You and I can walk there and get the exercise. What do you say?" He said, explaining to me the whole plan and asked me what I think of it. I shook my head no, refusing to answer.

A week has went by and I wasn't kicked out like Watari wanted. Apparently, he realized what a stupid thing it was of him to say a thing like that. So he's going to try to help and support L and I the best way he can. I can tell he's still very upset, but not angry like before. I continued to refuse talking as I wasn't feeling that great and emotionally exhausted, even more sad. I haven't called my therapist about this whole thing, knowing it's just too much to tell anyone, even though my family and the Task Force knows. Sayu was actually really upset from what I was told and was looking forward to be an aunt, which Matsuda wasn't okay with as she's still young.

"Light, do you want to talk?" Watari said, handing me a plate of my favorite sushi. I shook my head no, looking down on the Uramaki itself. I didn't want anything to eat this past week, feeling like I'm going to die. "Light, you can't be silent forever about this whole thing. You have to talk about it with us and your therapist. Don't keep this bottled up." Watari softly said and I shook my head no, laying down in the couch, covering myself with a blanket and cried some more.

The next moment I knew, I was in the bathroom, sobbing harder as I haven't showered in a week. As for going to work, I'm not going to ever come back. Never. Dad says I can take some time off as much as I can. I was really in a very emotional state right now in my life, knowing I'll never be happy again. Even more so, knowing my entire body just feels numb now. I just didn't know what to do now. I wanted to have this baby more than anything and now that he or she is dead, I just can't seem to find myself to continue life anymore. Especially after all this time.

"Light, are you okay?" L asked me, knocking the door and he opened it. I still was silent towards him and practically anyone else. I haven't spoken to Dad since the day before I miscarried. My last words were thank you and that was it. "Light, show me your wrists." L said and I showed them to him. He then hugged me and stroked my wet hair, getting his soaked.

"It's going to be okay, Light. We will get through this together." He said, crying as well as we both cried onto our arms, lasting for three hours. I handed L the shampoo and allowed him to wash my hair as I have no control with my hands to do anything right now. He nodded, knowing what I said, despite being silent. That very same day, L combed my hair for me and dried it with a towel, as opposed to my blow dryer. I hugged him and cried again, going to the deck to do so.