Just you and I

II

I got the job almost immediately after Sofia and I moved here. We were exploring the small little town when I saw a job offer flyer for the bar at a local supermarket. I called the indicated number as soon as we got home, and was told I could come try out the next day and that's how I ended up here.

The people are like family, they learned me the ropes in only a few days and treat me like one of their own. They absolutely adore little Sofia, and let her be in the back when Lisa can't watch her so she can draw, sleep or do whatever she wants. Sofia loves it, and abuses her cuteness by asking for candy every chance she gets.

When I told them about my love for music, they offered me to sing whenever I wanted at the bar, since the stage they have rarely ever gets used.

And so today was one of those days where it wasn't that busy, since it was still early afternoon. I went up to the stage and plugged in the keyboard they have for occasions like this. And no, it's not fancy in the slightest, but it works and that's about all that matters.

I turn on the mic, and introduce myself.
"My name's Saylor, as most of you know by now" I hear some chuckles, so I look up and smile, most of these people are regulars. "This one's called social stamina."

I close my eyes and play the first notes on my keyboard, and this is where I go into my own little world. Music saved me when I couldn't save myself, it feels like my own personal cocoon of peace and quiet. Relating to music makes me feel understood and safe, like I'm not alone in this messed up world.

I lost touch with all my friends
I'm in bed by 10pm
I have no social stamina
I cancel on all my plans
I commit then I don't answer
I can't keep up with anyone
Now I'm a desert island I know
I push away until I'm alone
When did I become
Someone no one loves
I'm a broken record it shows
All I ever say is "no"
When did I become
Someone I don't love
Now I don't know, I don't know who I am
How did I
Turn into a person who I can't stand
How did I
Let it get this bad, now I can't go back, now I'm all I have
And I don't know, I don't know who I am
Trigger warnings in my mind
I'm so vulnerable at night
So I watch romantic comedies
But happy couples make me cry
I can't find someone in real life
Always feel like somethings wrong with me
Now I'm a desert island I know
I push away until I'm alone
When did I become
Someone no one loves
Now I don't know, I don't know who I am
How did I
Turn into a person who I can't stand
How did I
Let it get this bad, now I can't go back, now I'm all I have
And I don't know, I don't know who I am
Now I don't know, I don't know who I am...

I hear some people clapping their hands, which is barely anyone. I open my eyes, and thank them for listening before turning the keyboard and mic back off and going back to my actual job.

"You're an amazing singer, Saylor" says Lucy, one of the owners. She's a sweet adult lady, I think in her late 40's. I give her a big smile and thank her.

"How's the little cookie monster doing?" I grin and tell her all about our adventure today, and how Lisa convinced her to go with her by bribing her with candy. She was shaking her head in disbelief.

She's used to these kinds of stories, she's the one who told me I could bring Sofia when it was necessary, and she adores her. She treats her like she's her favorite grandchild, probably because Lucy doesn't have any children. Every time I have a break during my shift, I walk in the back to check up on Sofia, and she's always busy doing something with the biggest smile on her face.