Handle With Care (Poetry)

Crowned

I feel alone, I'm lonely

I feel numb, I'm empty

My head is spinning with all the words I can't seem to get past my swollen tongue

My seams are coming undone

And I'm screaming out for someone to pick up the pieces

But in a land of selfish narcissists

I'm kind of on my own

Pushed everyone away

Because I thought loneliness was better company

Than the tainted souls of the ghosts who haunt my dreams

I am my own worst enemy

Broke every mirror in this house because I can't stand the sight of me

This black hole of a soul just sucks everything in, spit it back out

The taste chokes the air constricting my throat

I'm suffocating on self-righteous thoughts

When did I set myself on such a high pedestal?

I'm sleeping on a bed of sharp edged crowns

Maybe if I press myself hard enough into the sheets

The points will pierce through this outer shell I wear like a cable knit sweater

Warding off potential suitors like friends

I'm running low on ammo

To fire at all the demons hiding under my bed

The darkness is eating away at the atoms drifting from my skin

Like tiny constellations

I'm losing my will to shine

In a world that is weak, I find it impossible to stay strong

How did Atlas keep the world hefted on his shoulders

When I can barely stand the idea of such a force on me?

Can't even carry the burdens of my friends, my baggage takes up the entire trunk of a car

There's no room left to hide the body

Of the porcelain doll I had sat high on the shelf

Her face a glass imitation of the sorrow I gorged upon

Laying awake at night I starved from the happiness I pushed aside, didn't deserve to feel good

The cracked surface of my lips begs for holy water

I can feel the poison inside, I need to be purified

If I kill myself, can I still go to heaven?

Because Hell seems too familiar for my taste