ethereal : it oneshots

an honest mouth

pairing: stozier

stan pov

"the man lives!" richie announced, a bit too loud for me as i stumbled into the kitchen. and trust me when i say that stumbled is the correct word. i'd stood up too fast and felt all the blood rush quickly, and i wanted to fall back onto the floor. i know, though, from experience, that that does not go super great, so i decided to stick it out, my hand on the doorframe. i held my other hand up to shush him, and he laughed at me. if i hadn't known him better, i'd say the laugh was pretty nervous.

"shut up," i started with, my throat hurting too much to speak all that much. as if he noticed, he started to make tea, getting two cups down from the cupboard out of habit. "how..." i couldn't finish my question, but i was hoping that just looking at him would help him get the message.

"how what?" he did not get the message. i stared at him a little longer, even narrowing my eyes. his seemed to widen, "oh, you don't... hah... you don't remember shit, do you?"

he was correct; the only thing i could recall from the night before was leaving to go to beverly's and doing shots with bill. i'm not an alcohol heavy man, so it didn't take much to wipe every memory in my head. and besides, i was too preoccupied with how gorgeous richie looked that morning to actually focus enough to think about anything. that's a common thread in my life. it's awful.

"no." i shook my head. he laughed harder, but it was under-toned by this nervous, hesitant look.

"well, for a bit of comparison, last night bill got so drunk he stripped to his boxers to play pool, and he kept trying to call audra." richie grabbed the boiling kettle and started pouring the tea, bringing a mug to me as he sat down. i joined him at the table, mad at myself for not grabbing the mug out of his hands for a little extra contact. i know, desperate, but richie does that to me. it's awful.

"and?" i knew richie, and i knew there was more to what richie was going to say.

"and bill called me this morning to tell me he remembered it. so... you were pretty smashed," he poured himself milk into his tea (far too much, in my opinion), and refused to look me in the eyes. his cheeks were a little pink. oh god, what did i do?

"what did i do?" i scratched my head, waiting for the tea to cool. when you don't overload it with milk like a freak, it's steaming hot, you see, so you don't drink tea right away, unlike somebody i know. richie was looking at me strangely. like he was gritting his teeth, or something. jesus, i said something bad. or did something bad? oh god.

i was trying not to hyperventilate. i put my hands around the warm mug to wake me up.

"uh, well, you... lost a lot of pool to a shirtless bill... and kept telling us how much you loved us." he took a sip of his drink. he was hiding something. "didn't know you were such a sap when drunk, i have to be honest," he paused again. he scratched his head, like he was thinking really hard about what to say next. "you know, and then i drove you home, and then you passed out like a dog."

"that's all?"

"well," he gulped. he glanced up at me, and then back down to his tea. he fiddled with his fingers a little. "you also got really into french greeting kisses. like kissing people on the cheek to say hi and bye? yeah, you uh, couldn't stop doing that, even though we'd all been there the whole time." he let himself laugh, his shoulders relaxing. 

richie was still hiding something, and i knew it. i finally drank from my mug. i stayed quiet, hoping he'd go on. i couldn't remember doing anything that richie had described thus far, so i had absolutely nothing to fill the blanks in with. 

"what else?" i asked him. he shrugged. "richie, please tell me what i did that's making you act so fucking weird." 

richie blushed a little. "okay. just—jesus, just give me a second." he shuffled around in his chair, drinking more and more tea to keep him from speaking. eventually, he finished the mug and put it down in front of him. "i—" he coughed. actually, he went into a coughing fit. 

i won't lie, it was so out of the blue that i actually laughed a little. 

"sorry. too much milk," he was laughing too, though, so i didn't feel that bad about it. when we settled back into silence, he snickered before speaking, "it's dumb. like, it's actually so stupid, stan. basically.." he trailed off, his face going red before putting it in his hands.

"oh my god, richie, please," i was nearly begging him.

"okay! okay, we were going, i was going to drive us home, and you gave bev a kiss on the cheek 'cause you were so fucking into that, and i-i-i was joking, duh, but i asked why i didn't get a goodnight kiss, and you glared at me. um, and then i closed beverly's door, um, and you kissed me. for lack of a better word, staniel, you kissed me hard." richie was bright red. oh my god

i am such a fucking idiot.

"and-and i wasn't arguing! because, well, quite frankly, it was really hot! but-but you were so drunk, so i didn't let it go on, and i drove you home, and you really did pass out like a dog. so... i, uh, i'm looking at you now, and i can't read the expression on your face, and i'm nervous. and-and also i can't stop thinking about kissing you." the words were shooting out of him at supersonic speed. i had to manually turn my brain on to let the smile on my face show.

"jesus. sorry." i was in utter disbelief. i mean, i knew i had to have been a bumbling drunk fool, but a horny bumbling drunk fool? this was so much more awful than i'd imagined.

well, it would have been awful. but richie still looked kind. he looked a little embarrassed, sure, but in the coy way. and he'd enjoyed it?

"don't be! it's cool with me, and you know, if you don't want to talk about it ever again, that works with me, and if you do, that works with me! honestly, if you just want to hook up every time we get drunk from now on that also works with me, you just-uh-you just let me know!" jesus, he was so cute. i mean, i can't describe to you how cute richie is. he makes me stupidly giddy just looking at him, and he makes me feel like i'm learning what the word crush means for the first time.

"would, um..." i was about to make a fool of myself, i was sure, but richie was so cute that i couldn't have changed my own mind if i wanted to. "would you be cool with starting by, uh, going on a date sometime, then?" i don't think i'd ever been that nervous in my life. 

he smiled. "that works with me."