ethereal : it oneshots

be my mistake

pairing: kaspbrough (kinda)

"are we making a mistake?" bill asked, as if i hadn't already kissed him like this twice before.

"i don't know," now the mood was ruined, and i sat up, straddling his legs. i blew air through my nose, an unfortunate habit i picked up from richie.

"are we bad people for doing this?" he kept asking questions. and he was in the right, they were the questions we should have been asking. i knew what i was doing was wrong. yes, we were making a mistake. i was kissing a boy, and it wasn't richie. that in of itself was a mistake, but when you took in all of the other factors, it really just got worse and worse. after all, he was kissing me back, and i wasn't stan.

"maybe, but we can't undo what's already been done." i know i sound like a real prick, alright? i would say hear me out, but i was entirely in the wrong here. i was just defensive. i get defensive a lot. "i get lonely sometimes, and you're here for me." i said, continuing trying to convince both myself and bill that i wasn't wrong for this.

"yeah, but you should have richie for that, shouldn't you?" he only answered in questions. it was apparently very hard for him to see that yeah, we were making a mistake, but i wanted him to be my mistake.

"i mean... yes i suppose so. but you can't deny that we like each other." i replied. i wasn't wrong, but i wasn't really right, either. maybe he liked me, or maybe he just liked the way my ass looked in those jeans (that richie bought for me). and maybe i liked him, or maybe i just liked the thrill of secrecy.

i put my hand on his face and leaned in to kiss him again, but his hand pushed me back, it flat on my chest. i dropped my hand quickly, pouting.

"but you love richie, and i love stan. right?" honestly, he could not finish a sentence without a question! you'd think he'd have just up and left if he figured it was that bad. get up, go home to his loving boyfriend, and tell him he fucked up, hoping they could stay together. but he didn't. maybe it was my sitting on him, but he didn't really look like getting up was an appealing option.

"i don't know, bill. do you want to kiss me, or do you want to whine about morals?" once again, asshole move from me, i know. i really wanted to kiss him.

if i'm honest, i don't know what led to this point. i don't know what went wrong between me and richie. he didn't do anything wrong, i think i just changed. i wanted more physical love, i guess, but i couldn't articulate that. and he couldn't catch on. and then one day, i caught bill staring at my ass. and now we're here.

i make a lot of mistakes. i'd bargain that this was my worst mistake, but it felt so good.

"eddie, i want to kiss you, but i know i shouldn't. i'm happy with stan." bill had the nerve to say this like this was the first time he'd cheated on stan. spoiler alert, it wasn't.

"if you're so happy, then why are you here? and if you're so happy with him, how come you want to kiss me anyways?" i was angry. honestly, i was ready to hate-fuck him at that point.

"i... okay. but from now on, you can't wait outside my hotel room anymore. you have to wait for me to give you a sign." bill countered, and i nodded. i understood.

and then i kissed him again. and for a third time in two months, i found my tongue down the throat of somebody that was not my ever loving boyfriend, richie.