𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 ; 13

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Well, it didn't take us long to get caught, it only took about 5 days until we got caught by the rest of the band. Tom was surprisingly okay with it despite the fact that he said that he didn't want to be associated with me he was okay with it he was actually happy about it. I think he was happy about the fact that someone was willing to love and care for Bill, which I thought was really sweet but it still doesn't change the fact he said he didn't want to be associated with me. I took it offensive.

I've been speaking with Bill a lot lately about a certain topic, I still wanted our relationship to be a secret but then again I wanted him to show affection for me in public. That wasn't what the conversations were about, I wanted to talk about putting the past behind us and just live in our everyday lives. What I meant by this was I wanted to make up with Tom and the rest of the band it seems like the rest of the band didn't really care for what was happening seems like they were kind of used to it if you ask me.

Still doesn't change anything though, I wanted to be a better person and I wanted to apologize for the things that I've done to cause the band hate, lash back, and other things that happens to celebrities when drama occurs. I didn't know how to do it though I was too scared to ask Bill for any advice and help despite the fact that he's now my boyfriend, so I just had to quietly study the band. With bill and I now dating every time my father left with my stepmother I would spend time with Bill whether it was in the living room, or me or his or Tom's bedroom.

Doing this I studied the band quietly, I got to see what they like and what they didn't like, I got to observe what they do for fun and what they do when they're bored, and just other things in that category. Slowly I did things that they liked I cooked their favorite foods I bought them things that they liked and slowly just wanted to apologize without actually apologizing with my voice I began to think if that was bad or not. Bill and I had kind of an argument, he thought I was trying to flirt with the other band members but then I had to come clean.

"Bill you have it all wrong, I wanted to apologize to the band it's all my fault that they were getting hate that they were getting lash back and they weren't making as much money as they used to so I began to slowly study the band and I started taking notes on what they like and what they didn't like and I started buying them and cooking them their favorite foods and getting stuff that they liked as a way to apologize without actually having to apologize with my voice." I tried to explain to him but he wouldn't buy my story.

So I stopped doing the things I did for the band and I started doing those things for Bill and only Bill, after a couple of days I decided to come clean with the band and I decided to apologize with my actual voice just approved a bill that I wasn't lying about my story. Have to admit I was extremely embarrassed to do this because girls don't usually apologize and come clean with their actions they just don't do anything about it and just move on with their lives so apologizing and admitted I was in the wrong was a lot.

I wasn't expecting the band to actually forgive me for my actions and for Bill to actually stop being mad at me but everything turned out the way I wanted it to, Tom forgive me and so did Georg and Gustav, Bill wanted to apologize but I could tell he was too scared to because he knew he was wrong so I did what any great girlfriend would and just forgot about it.

Honestly I was glad I really came clean because I felt like I needed to and despite the fact that I was scared and terrified I'm glad I did it anyways and got that over with. Also got that we were able to put all the drama behind us and hopefully we can start a new chapter together where this one actually ends good.

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𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 ; Bill KaulitzWhere stories live. Discover now