Bulletproof my Heart

3. He is strictly off limits.

New chapter loves!

What month is your birthday? I am October baby!

Chapter 3: He is strictly off limits.

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Usually, I have a lot of self-control, I have a strong grasp on my feelings, emotions and my desires. I was bought up in an environment that forced me keep a check on it because my father didn't want any scandals and rumours that could hinder his campaigns and his prestigious reputation. My friends were chosen for me based on how their family and relations could benefit his campaigns. Any guy crushes I had were thoroughly scanned and had to be approved. Even my feelings weren't my own until I was permitted to have them. I was always told to think a dozen times before saying anything. So, not acting on my impulses has been more of an obligation for me.

Except when it comes to Nimit Verma, then it takes an extra effort to maintain control. And right now, the thread of control has snapped and I am ready to jump off that edge. I want him... hell with the consequences.

Unfortunately, my notions aren't matched. Nimit closes his eyes briefly, his hold significantly tightening around my waist before he gently pushes me away, forcing me to stand on my weak wobbly legs.

He takes a deep breath as if calm down himself and then shakes his head, opening his eyes to show light remorse and a steely determination. "Aisha..." The name is a whisper and an answer to my desperate request.

I frown for a second, taking in the feeling of rejection before hardening my face and glaring at him, trying to hide my sheer humiliation and embarrassment. Stupid, stupid, Aisha! Made a fool of yourself, didn't you? You couldn't have shut up instead of speaking your mind? That's what you have done your whole life. Couldn't you do it again today? Stupid!

"It's fine. Unlock the car."

His fingers thread into his hair and for the first time I see a look of remorse, anguish and reluctance on his face. His normal blank façade slipping away, taking a backseat and letting his emotions show. It makes me slightly pleased, to see that this affected him at least to some small level. "I – you don't get it. We... we can't." His tone is low and hoarse.

I chew my bottom lip and force a smile on my face. I knew the rejection would hurt but nothing prepared me for that feeling of a thousand daggers being pierced through my heart. I try to maintain my composure, fighting the urge to crawl into a corner and cry until there are no tears left to shed. A heaviness settles deep in my chest and I curse myself for thinking that he'd actually kiss me, that he'd actually want me – be attracted to me. My pride is wounded and now I have to face him every day with what little dignity I have left. Great, how I love my love life! I bet the God's of fate are having a hearty laugh at my expense.

"Open the car, please." My voice is small, forced. Nimit's lips part as if to say something, he looks visibly torn and frustrated but then he sighs and nods his head, his hazel eyes dark and bleak. He opens the passenger seat and normally that's where I sit – despite my father's disapproval – I prefer the front seat rather than the back seat. It makes me feel a little normal. But right now, sitting in the same car is torture, let alone sitting next to him in such close proximity.

"I think it's best if I sit behind."

There's a sharp inhale of breath, his fingers tighten on the door handle and I keep my head low, not trusting myself to meet his gaze. He shuts the door, aggressively, and opens the back seat door. I get in without a word, making a point to avoid any form of physical contact. I wrap my arms around myself, like that could protect my heart and my pride from him.