Bulletproof my Heart

22. I didn't leave because I didn't want to be with you...

Chapter 22. I didn't leave because I didn't want to be with you

I shake my head, refusing to believe anything he says. "Answer me this, Ved. Why did you cheat on me?"

Ved physically flinches, his face ashen. He quickly shakes his head, leaning forward. "No, God, no, never! I have never once cheated on you. Trust me, Aisha, in the one year we dated, it was you, only you. I – I really liked you, I would never have cheated on you, and I didn't. I promise. That thought never even crossed my mind, I was far too consumed by you."

The sincerity in his face and tone makes me want to believe him but my mind refuses to forgive him. "Why did you just disappear then? Why did you leave without telling me?"

Ved rubs his face, eyes haunted and guilty. "I was scared to say goodbye. I had this incredible job opportunity, a scholarship and an internship at a company I have always wanted to work in. It was something I had strived hard towards, something I desperately wanted but I knew, I knew the second I saw you, I'd choose you."

My lips part and my breath hitches at his confession. A confession I have desperately longed for 2 years but what good does it do to me now?

Ved smiles sadly. "I wanted to tell you, I wanted to beg you to make it work but long distance hardly ever works. We both have never believed in it. And I know you, I know your love language is physical touch, dates and hugs. So if I had told you I was leaving, we most certainly would have broken up. I – I didn't want that, I couldn't deal with that. I know how selfish that sounds. But one look at your teary eyes and I would've gladly missed my flight."

Ved reaches forward to hold my hands but I take them back, shaking my head. Ved sighs regretfully. "I hate the way I left, Aisha. I haven't forgiven myself for it either so I don't expect you to. But I want you to know, I didn't leave because I didn't want to be with you, I left because couldn't accept the fact that I had to live without you."

I know his confession is heartfelt and real and my resolve staggers a little. His pleading eyes play with my emotions. "I was hurt, Ved, so fucking hurt and angry. I cried for weeks, I – I thought I was at fault. That I did something wrong to make you run away to a whole new country."

A pained look crosses Ved's face, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I am sorry. I won't pretend to understand exactly how you felt but it wasn't easy for me either. For the first month, all I wanted to do was come back to you and beg for forgiveness. I couldn't eat, I could barely sleep, everyone assumed it was homesickness but I knew better, it was you-sickness. I missed you so damn terribly." Ved takes a shaky breath. "But I had to work, it was my dream, a once in a lifetime opportunity, I couldn't mess it up." He looks at me pleadingly. "Please understand."

I press my lips together, fighting the tears from spilling down my cheeks in a café. After all these years of nursing an open wound, I am finally getting some closure. But not the kind I wanted. I was so sure I'd be angry with Ved, ready to let Nimit kill him but after listening to his explanation and sincerity, I am a little disappointed.

I was looking forward to screaming into my pillow and breaking a few mugs, now what do I do? Ugh, couldn't he just have cheated on me, the affectionate douchebag!

I lick my dry lips. "I understand. I know how important that job was for you and you are right, we would've broken up, I never would've been in a long-distance relationship, it's just not for me. But that would've been better than leaving me alone in the dark with a broken heart. I called you, I messaged you, but nothing, no response at all. I – I didn't even know you had left the country until Sania sent me your post, about you joining the company in Australia." I sniff at the dreadful memory. "I – I thought it was a nightmare. I couldn't believe you'd throw away everything we had so easily, ignore me like I didn't matter."

Ved hangs his head in shame. "I know, I am sorry, so fucking sorry. But you matter, you matter so damn much. I should never have left the way I did, I know."

"And that girl, it really was a coincidence that you met her again in Australia?"

Ved nods quickly. "Yes, yes, I was just as shocked as she was. When we met her at the Rodney's club, she had come to her Aunt's place for a vacation before college started. And then, after two months, when I entered my class, she was right there, sitting on an empty desk. And I know what you are wondering next..." Ved smirks at me. "No, we never got together, we are good friends but that's it."

I smile back, feeling a vague sense of peace envelop me as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My mind drifts to a tall handsome hazel-eyed man who would never leave me without a word, ever, and my grin widens. "It's fine. I have gotten over it. I needed this closure and now I have it."

Ved lifts his head and smiles gratefully. "Thank you. I am going to work hard to earn your forgiveness and erase all the hurt I have caused you."

"You don't have to."

His hands reach forward again and this time I let him hold my hands. The warmth of his palms feels familiar on my skin, like a fleeting moment inclined to stay. From behind, I hear a curse word but it's hard to say who it was – Nimit or Ryan.

"I will. I have to." Ved promises earnestly. "I have to ask, are you- are you seeing anyone?"

My mind drifts to Nimit, what is he anyway? We aren't dating, we aren't in a relationship, we can't even be seen holding hands despite how much we both want to. I shake my head. "No, I am not."

The relief and hope is a little too evident on his face. "Why do you ask?"

Ved smiles mysteriously. The resolve in his eyes makes me gulp anxiously. A forbidding chill runs down my spine and I hold my breath. "Ved, you aren't going back to Australia?"

Ved smiles and shakes his head. "No, I am here to stay. I am back for you, Aisha. Let's give us another chance. Let's date again."

My jaw drops and my eyebrows shoot up in trepidation.

Oh, you stupid Cupid, you got me the wrong guy, again!

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