blue ➸ camren

eighteen

Lauren held Camila's hand the entire car ride, feeling her heart break each time she heard the small girl inhale shakily. She could tell Camila was still panicking.

They only drove for a few minutes before they reached a gravel pathway. Steering as best as she could, Lauren led them up the steep hill until them came to a stop.

"C'mere," Lauren whispered, quickly circling the car and opening the passenger side door. Camila looked up slowly with a confused expression on her face.

"Just trust me," Lauren said softly, holding out her hand for Camila. Shyly, the smaller girl took her hand and allowed Lauren to lead her out of the car. By then, it was just beginning to get dark, giving the sky an eerie blue haze.

"Over here," Lauren squeezed Camila's hand and continued leading her up the gravel pathway. Camila scooted closer to her, holding onto the sleeve of Lauren's sweater.

"Just in time," Lauren sighed in relief, quickly leading Camila to the end of the pathway and in front of the clearing. Camila furrowed her eyebrows when they came to a small cliff. Below she could just barely make out the shape of the city.

"Come sit," the green eyed girl tugged on Camila's hand and sat down on the grass in the middle of the clearing. Shyly, Camila took a seat beside her girlfriend.

"There's so much more out there, Camz," Lauren said after a few moments of silence. She noticed how badly Camila was shaking and gave in, pulling the small girl into her lap.

"I know it seems so real," she whispered, resting her chin on the top of Camila's head and gazing out at the dark city. "And maybe it was real at some point. But it's in the past now. And I know it's hard to understand that when it keeps coming back for you, but you just have to keep moving forwards."

She paused her small speech to check her phone, quickly tapping on Camila's shoulder and pointing out to the city. "Watch this," she whispered, keeping an eye on the time.

Moments later, a small section of the city flickered before lighting up. Pretty soon all the streets of the city were illuminating themselves, glowing against the dark night sky. Camila's eyes widened and she sat up slightly.

"Woah," Camila whispered, wiping her eyes as the entire city lit up before her eyes.

"It may seem like this is the world right now," Lauren whispered, smoothing out Camila's hair. "But it's only a small part of you. There is so much more out there."

Slowly, Camila reached up and pressed her fingers to Lauren's cheek, tracing down her jawline. "You are real, right?" she asked quietly, studying the way Lauren's eyes lit up in the soft light.

"Of course I am," Lauren laughed softly. Camila drew her hand back and nodded, lying her head on Lauren's shoulder.

"Good," she mumbled, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Lauren asked carefully, bringing her hand up to rub circles on her girlfriend's back.

"It was him again," Camila mumbled. There was something else in her voice, though. Something Lauren had never seen in her before. Hate.

"Your uncle?" she asked softly. Camila nodded against Lauren's shoulder.

"He was drunk," Camila huffed, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Say it," Lauren blurted out, startling Camila. "Say it, Camila. Just say it."

"Say what?" Camila looked up slowly.

"You know," Lauren whispered, reaching out and tucking a loose strand of the girl's hair behind her ear. "You're allowed to say it."

Both girls maintained eye contact for a few moments. Camila took a deep breath and glanced out at the city, letting her eyes adjust to the light.