Back To You

34

TW- talk of sexual assault

L E X I
G O N Z A L E S

Reece's new mattress has to be the comfiest thing I have ever been on. It's what I think lying on a giant marshmallow would be like.

His new room is weird.
But I like it.

I forgot that he changed everything so when I first walked in I thought we went into the guest room.

It looks the exact same but in a different way. I prefer the new room. Especially Gooses princess bed that she apparently never uses as she sleeps with Kiara every night.

She was very happy when I walked in. I missed that little ball of sunshine. Kiara was just about to go to bed and then she saw me and ran right into my arms screaming and shouting my name.

I apologised to Di for making her excited right before she was about to go to bed. She didn't really mind as she then hugged me after.

Then I got full on attacked by Goose. I missed her a lot. She's the cutest Bernese puppy ever. I could tell she missed me a lot.

After we got back we fell asleep pretty quickly, we were going to watch a movie but then both passed out.

Rolling over onto my stomach I feel Reece beside shuffling and moving around, "stop moving" i tap his shoulder but he keeps going. "Reece" I speak a little louder and closer to him but nothing.

Groaning I sit and switch on one of the lamps to get the right angle to slap him with my pillow. Looking over at him I see he's twitching. A lot. His forehead is dripping with sweat and he keeps moving his head for, side to side.

His chest is heaving up and down the same rhythm as his breathing.

Is he having a nightmare?

"Reece?" I nudge him harder with both my hands on his shoulders.

I'm basically shaking him at this point.

My hands move to his sweat drenched face trying to wake him up. Shuffling closer I do everything I can to wake him up.

"Hey. Reece. Wake up." I say moving closer to him, my hands are plastic the sides of his face. His eyes shoot open with shock, worry and hundreds of other emotions.

He looks directly in my eyes for only a moment before sitting up and pulling himself away from me. His back is facing me but I can still see his body heaving up and down and his fast breathing.

"Reece?".

He doesn't answer.

I sit crossed legged and give him a few moments just to wait for him to calm down. I sit there trying to process what I just saw. He looked so scared. Like he was trapped somewhere.

He was so tense. He was so many things.

I've never seen him like this. Seeing Reece vulnerable almost never happens.

My stomach fills with that weird uncomfortable feelings that are like the bad butterfly feelings.

"Reece?" I speak again and I still get nothing in return from him.

I move over to where he is. His elbows are in his knees and his face is in his hands. Hiding away from me. "Reece? What's going on?" I keep my voice quiet and calm so I don't alarm him.

No matter how many minutes go by he doesn't calm down and I don't know how to calm him or do anything.

His hands move as but his face is still hidden from me, "she won't go away" he says his voice breaking, "everything that happened. It won't go away. I can't get it to go away" he's trembling. He's crying. More than crying he's breaking apart.

Sitting up on my knees, I use all the strength in my body and pull him to me after he finally stops resisting. His head falls into my chest, his arms clutching my back so tight.

"What are trying to tell me?" I ask threading my hand through his hair.

"She -keeps coming back to my mind. What she -did. I can't get her -to leave me alone" his voice shakes every time he mentions, 'she' or 'her'.

"Who is she?"

"The girl- the one that gave me the drink. That made me go all week and pass out"

Oh my god.

My legs collapse under me but I keep hold of Reece, I keep him close to me. I do everything in my power to keep myself from crying or falling apart.

My mind can't even process or cope with the thoughts flooding through my mind, "I didn't do it. I didn't hurt her. Lexi. But I let her-"

"No you didn't. You didn't let her do anything" I whisper bringing his face level with mine so he looks at me, "it's not your fault. It never will be" My thumbs swipe away the tears under his eyes and cheeks, he's still shaking and burning up.

I don't know what to do.

"Please don't cry, don't cry because of me" he speaks.

"I can't help it"

"Don't be sad-"

"I'm not sad, Reece, I'm devastated" I choke and stutter over my words as I have no idea what I'm supposed to say. He pulls himself away from me, "please don't pull yourself away from me" I wipe away the tears that sting my eyes, "it's okay, it's all okay" I reassure him, "I'm just trying to help you"

"Don't say that. Don't fucking say that" he rises from the bed.

What did I do?

"Please don't say that" he begs, "she told me is was going to be okay and here I fucking am" he runs his hands through his hair pulling at it.

Standing up I move so I'm in front of him, I pull him back into my arms without a protest from him. "It's me, Reece, just me. Not her. Just me" I feel him slowly melt into me feeling warmth spread throughout me "You are not going to turn your back on me and if you try I'm going to keep coming back to you. I'm not leaving, ever. I'm staying with you because you need someone right now. I really don't want to loose you like I almost did" I tell him keeping my voice as steady as possible.

"I don't want to drag you down"

"You could only drag me down by pushing me away as then I'd have to watch you battle alone and I care too much to see you do that to yourself" he holds onto me so tight I can barely breathe but I don't mind as long as he's not going to push me away.

AUTHORS NOTES

off topic but they are so Gracie Abrams coded.

Last unhappy chapter.
I promise.
I apologise.

Bye Bye

-Nat 💙