and we forgave

Chapter 12

NESSIE

I can't believe Summer is almost over. It's already end of August, just a few days til September. Then I'll go back at Wrencore. I mean, theoretically I am already back there. I live in a dorm on campus, kinda hard not to see the place. But classes will start. And I will have to back off on some stuff. Not so many books. Or so many dates with Mark. He's been taking me out almost daily on a date. Wants to make up for the time we lost.

The time I spent obsessing over someone else.

I still do sometimes. Still won't let Mark touch me. Can't. Not with the image of Adam's hands all over me. His tongue.

Mark and I kiss from time to time, but never more. He hasn't seen me without my top and pants on since that day I told him I want to take it slow. It's for the best. I know it pains him to keep his hands to himself, but it's for the best. And he accepted it. For me.

For a liar. For a cheater. For a person who deserves to be heartbroken after she broke the hearts of two guys.

"How do you like the view?", Mark asks me. We're at a pizzeria near Central Park, one we usually come to, with the view at the trees, the flowers and the people inside the park. The kids laughing. The couples holding hands.

How I love New York.

"I love it", I answer. "I love it. I really do."

Mom and Dad always wanted to take me to New York one day. Said it's the city of dreams. It sounded so beautiful. Just like in the books. They left this world before we could all come here. After high school, I moved here to make their dream come true. I couldn't live back in that small town. It reminded me all too much of what happened. Here, everything was new. And they are still with me somehow. With their wish.

I love New York.

"What are you thinking of, Nessie?", he asks me now, pulling me away from my thoughts. I have to smile to stop the urge of crying.

I miss them. So much.

I wonder if they would still be proud of their little girl now. If they saw who I became.

"I am thinking how much I love this place. This city", I answer. Mark smiles.

"It's beautiful", he tells me. "Just like you."

"I am not so pretty", I add. He already turned his gaze to the menu and doesn't reply. Doesn't say anything to what I just said.

I swallow hard.

Maybe he heard me and thinks that way too...

"I'm sorry, did you say something?", he asks me, looking back at me.

I lie. "I was just asking you if you already know your order."

He chuckles. My blood might explode from my veins any moment now. "I think I'll go with the pizza. Should we share one?"

"We can", I say, although I really wanted the pasta. They are the best in this place. Luigi, the chef, makes them like no one else. "But can we also get the mozzarella sticks?". Another dish that is to die for here. Mark looks at the menu and shrugs.

"We always take them", he counters. "Let's try something else. How about the tiramisu?"

I nod. "Yeah, sounds great." The mozzarella sticks would have made me fat anyway. Too much oil. Tiramisu is sweet, but he'll end up eating most of it anyway. He always does that. For I know it is his favorite food at the restaurant. We always buy it. It's so cute to see him with a spoon full in his mouth.

A waiter comes and places our order. We also buy some drinks, some lemonade for me and a coke for him.

And then we wait.