and we forgave

Chapter 45

NESSIE

"Adam", I tell the receptionist. She's looking at me confused, slightly worried. My face is swollen, there are still tears rolling down my cheeks, my eyes are red and I am holding a letter in my hands. "Please, I need to see Adam."

From my state, the woman doesn't recognize who I am. Not that I would be important or so, but there are tones of pictures of me and Adam together. She could have known I am his wife.

"Please", I beg her sobbing now. "Please, I need to speak to him."

The woman almost raises her eyebrow yet she picks up the phone and dials a number. "Mister Cunnan", she begins and I relax a bit as I hear his name, knowing he's at the other end of the line. "There's a woman asking for you." She looks at me again and asks: "What's your name, miss?"

"Vanessa", I reply and after taking a deep breath, I add: "Vanessa Cunnan."

"Vanessa....", she repeats and it's then she processes what I said last and puts two and two together. I guess Adam told her something too since she nods and says she understands and hangs up.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Cunnan", she tells me. I nod understanding. She tells me to follow her and we both get into the elevator. Neither of us says anything while we go up, me still crying and she still being a bit embarrassed, and as soon as the elevator stops and the doors open, we find Adam standing right in front of us, waiting impatiently.

"Love", he breathes as he sees me.

I don't care about the receptionist or the other of his employees watching us as I run and throw myself in his arms. I sink my face in his chest and begin crying louder. He kisses the top of my head and begins to gently brush my hair with his fingers, to make me breathe even again.

"She's gone", I shout into his chest. He tenses and probably wants to ask who I am talking about, yet he continues to brush my hair and touch my head with his lips.

"I am here for you, love", he whispers. "I am here for you."

~

Adam is pacing around the room, Jenna's letter in his hands. I am sitting at his desk, on his chair, still crying. My breath got steadier now, but the tears haven't stopped rolling. I am not sure they ever will.

"She's gone", I mumble again. It's all I been saying since I entered his room. He closed the door behind us to give us some privacy. His office is large and looks modern, but right now, all I can think of is Jenna, Adam and the letter in his hands.

Adam stops reading it for the thousandth time and comes in front of me. It feels weird. I am on his chair, he's standing in front of me. I offer to stand up yet he quickly stops me with a handshake and assures me I can sit. I sigh relieved and continue sobbing.

"What are you going to do?", he asks me now.

I raise my shoulders and sink deeper into the chair, resting my head on the comfy leather. "I don't know. That place won't be the same without her."

"It never will be", he whispers and reaches for my hand. I offer it to him and he gives it a squeeze.

"Does it ever get better?", I ask, mostly to myself. "The pain."

"They say time heals all wounds", Adam answers. I look up at him surprised. He continues: "I haven't found that to be true." He understands from the look in my eyes that I need him to tell me more. "When Lewis died, a piece of my heart died with him. He was like a father to me. I loved him like one. The pain never gets easier. You still see the person daily. I can't look at the stars and not think of him. I can't buy mint bonbons because those were his favorites and they would only make me cry. But I know he's still with me. I know he's still watching over me. The pain never gets easier, but the memory of him makes me smile now. And every time I'm reminded of him, I only thank the universe that I got to meet him. Losing someone is hard. And it will always be hard, no matter how much time passed. However, you'll have to remember that the person wouldn't want you to stop living your life. You have to continue and carry on their memory like a tattoo on your heart. And see the good side. Be happy. For that part of your heart will then smile too and the start will shine brighter."

There are tears on his face now. I stand up and go over to him to hug him. "I am sorry you lost him", I whisper, kissing his cheek where the tears are.

"I am sorry you lost Jenna", he continues. I freeze at that.

"Adam", I begin, my voice shaking. I take a step away from him and he looks at me surprised. I take another step further. "All the people I love have a way to go. What if it's something with me? What if..."

He comes closer, closing the space I put between us and has me back in a hug. "There is nothing with you, love."

"What if you'll...", I begin. He doesn't let me end that thought.

"I'm not going to leave you, love. I can't. I am here for you. Forever. When you go, I go. Together. I don't want to miss a single second of this life being apart from you. I will be here for you."

"Promise?", I ask him between tears.

He kisses me once. "Promise."

I kiss him too and sink my face into his chest again. It's then I ask. "Do you think Jenna would be happy if I took over Wonder?"

"I never met her", he begins, "but I am sure she would. There is something special about you, Nessie. A way you always manage to bring magic into people's lives. Jenna saw it too. I am sure she would love to have you take care of what she started."

I sob louder even at the thought of her.

It's a wonder that we got to meet you, Nessie.

"What if I am not good enough?", I ask him. He is quick to shake his head.

"You will always be good enough, love. From what I read in that letter, Jenna really cared about you. And she cared about you. Just the way you are. I've told you before and I'll tell you again for how many times it takes for you to understand that you are perfect, but I have a feeling you will never believe me. Even if you weren't perfect, which you are, Jenna cared about you. She loved who you are. And I think that if you keep being just that, you will be more than enough."

I look up at him, to meet his eyes. I see it in them that he really meant it. I can feel Adam cup my face in his palms and starting to wipe away my tears with his thumbs.

"Adam", I begin.

"Yes, love."

"I think I'll accept. I'll take over Wonder. I need to make sure that her dream keeps being true. I need to make sure that other people see the magic in that place too."

He smiles and kisses my cheek. "I am sure that the stars shine a bit brighter now."