as the world falls down

chapter 8

Y/n’s heart was still racing as she stood outside the butchers shop, she still wasn’t sure if she should step inside. It almost felt wrong stepping into her past home like this, she’d broken almost every rule of her job in a day just because of some stupid feelings. Feelings that seemed to fester in her stomach and dictate how she felt for the rest of the day, she hated them, she resented them because she knew the heavy weight that they held.

‘Y/n?’ She was snapped out of her train of thought as the door of the shop opened, she was greeted to a tired Chaeyoung, her hair in a messy pony tail and glasses still crooked. ‘Have you got the money?’

‘Fuck.’ Y/n groaned- she’d completely forgotten about last nights job, it seemed like an irrelevant detail in between all the emotions ‘I left it at the apartment.’

‘Its ok.’ Chaeyoung slightly smiled ‘Are you ok? You look distressed.’

‘Is Jungkook home?’

‘No, he’s out at the shops- do you want to talk to him?’

‘Can we talk?’ Y/n breathed out, she was happy Jungkook wasn’t in, if he was then there was no point even being here right now.

They both sat on the doorstep of the shop, smoke filled the air as Y/n put her cigarette out on the concrete below them, the nicotine rush helped calm her down from her previous worry but she needed to vent, no matter what she felt like she needed to get this out. In all of the movies she watched love was a wonderful thing, something expected yet beautiful, a blossoming flower in the middle of April but love didn’t feel like that for her right now, it felt sinful and wrong, it felt so out of place in her hectic life, something that would be best to let burn and die.

‘Chaeyoung, can I ask you about something?’ Y/n asked meekly, anxiety filled her brain as her voice slightly wobbled ‘confidentially.’

‘Sure, and by confidentially I assume you mean you don’t want me to tell Jungkook.’

‘Yes.’

‘Ok, I’ll keep my lips shut.’

‘Lets just say that hypothetically I met someone’ Y/n started, her voice weak and nervous ‘and I feel like I’ve caught feelings for that person, how would you feel? This is all hypothetical of course, not actually happening.’

‘Well I would be happy for you’ Chaeyoung smiled ‘you know I want you to be happy.’

‘But because of the nature of my job I can’t be in a relationship or even make friends, so what do you say I do?’

‘Depends who do you want advice from? Do you want advice from Chaeyoung your co-worker or from Chaeyoung your sort of family.’

‘I know what both of them are going to say.’

‘Can I be honest with you Y/n?’ Chaeyoung sighed a sad look swept over their face ‘I want to leave this life as well, I’ve been trying to convince Jungkook for months now but he has this strange dedication to Namjoon. I want love too, I want a house and a dog, to live somewhere quiet with him but he doesn’t seem to want that.’

‘Then leave, nothing is stopping you from staying, you’re the only person who has an identity outside of this place.’

‘I can’t just leave you both, I care about him and you know you’re like a little sister to me, without me you’d both be in prison or dead.’

‘You’re right, this whole situation makes me feel like crap’

‘I care about your happiness, so I’ll do this for you. Once you complete this job you can use the identity you’re currently using and when Jungkook is away we’ll move you to a new city- if I can’t escape this life I at least want you to.’