What You're Worth // Billie Eilish

Part X

Once Gillian left Kella's and drove to the apartment she and Malik shared, she sat in her car for much longer than she should have before entering.

Thankfully, Eli was at a close friend's house for a sleepover so Gilly didn't have to worry about what might be said tonight and whether or not the boom of their voices would travel through his bedroom door.

Malik was on the balcony sitting down and Gillian could see the glow of the end of his lit blunt.

She slid the door open and sat in the chair at the opposite end.

Malik looked at her silently and shook his head, blowing smoke from his mouth.

She was prepared for immediate yelling but she received none of that. Observing his features, it was easy to tell he knew he was losing Gillian right before his eyes. And it was only a matter of time before she would slip from his grasp completely.

"Who is it?" He looked away. "Do I know him?"

"Will you stop already? There is no nigga."

"Mari said he think he saw you the other day after the gym, getting into a hellcat. A hellcat." He repeated. "How you expect me to believe that's not a nigga?"

Gillian ignored his accusation, "You got people watching me?"

"No. But when you roaming the streets all day, somebody's bound to see."

"Are you calling me a slut, Malik?"

"If the shoe fits."

Fed up, Gillian sucked her teeth, "Don't you get tired of acting like a 'lil bitch? If I'm home less often, don't you think there's a reason?"

"Yeah, you're being selfish and spiteful because of a mistake I made a year ago. You're insecure and still not over it."

"Who made me insecure? Don't I have a right to be?" A familiar mix of anger and hurt trembled in her voice. "Huh?"

"Quit being so dramatic, G." He mumbled, raising the blunt to his lips and inhaling deeply. "You never used to be like this."

"Neither did you."

"Kella must've put this shit in your head. Since y'all got closer, things been worse."

"Kella gives me a place to stay when I can't put up with your shit here. She's the one who's there for me when you aren't."

"Fuck Kella."

"Fuck you." She spat.

"Yeah, okay."

Gillian despised his nonchalant attitude at times. She felt like he didn't care about her feelings or her tears. He only heard what he wanted to hear.

Staring ahead at the at the city skyline, the bright lights of cars and skyscrapers, she wondered where it all went left with Malik.

They used to be inseparable, young and in love. Hand holding, weekly dates, a bouquet of flowers waiting for her after work. At one point, they were equal partners as they were best friends.

When she was pregnant, he became the sweetest person she had ever met. He used to rub her stomach before they went to sleep every night without failure, and promise her he would make her his wife one day.

Malik and Gillian were the kind of couple everyone envied, wishing they'd find a connection similar to theirs.

Gillian found herself clinging onto to what they used to be. What Malik used to be.

Lately, he tends to attack self esteems when his ego gets bruised or things don't go his way.

He was once the perfect prince her father wanted her to have, the one he felt like she deserved. But now, Gillian's found a princess that treats her ten times better than Malik, even in his prime.